Forgiveness, or the lack of, can do so many things.
When Carson does something and he knows we are upset, he tells us how sorry he is. If we don't say we forgive him almost immediately, it tears him up. He takes his punishment, but he still must hear those words, "I forgive you."
When I mess up with my boys and tell them that I was wrong, the best thing they do for me is wrap their little arms around me and say, "I forgive you, Mama."
Yet when I don't offer forgiveness, I do see where it leads me to sin. I can become bitter. I can harbor anger. I can say things that are hurtful.
When I am not offered forgiveness, it hurts so bad. The lack of forgiveness can consume me. I can lose my focus and almost worship the person to earn forgiveness.
Often we don't forgive because we don't think the transgressor deserves it. Well, we are not the judge of that. Forgiveness is commanded by God. Just because we were hurt by some one, doesn't mean we have to restore the relationship. In some cases that would be insane. Forgiveness offers a release for the hurter and the hurtee. Sometimes people don't even have to know you forgive them. It can be intimate. Sometimes it is better to not open that can of worms because they don't even realize they hurt you and bringing it up can actually make things worse.
As far a rebuking someone, I'd rather not. There is a church member that has some of us in an uproar, we gripe and complain amongst ourselves because we are uncomfortable talking to him. I finally said I was going to say something, but felt that I could not rebuke him tactfully. I kept my mouth closed. If we don't know how to rebuke properly, that may be the best thing to do.
As far as rebuking me, I'm pretty much awesome, so there is no need! Ha! Thought you needed a good laugh. If I hurt someone, I want to know, I want to fix it. I don't like conflict at all. I'd rather someone come to me than talk about it to others and beat around the bush.