Why Hello There #write31days

Yeah.

There's this thing called a blog that I committed to write every day for 31 days.

I failed at my #write31days commitment.

As a child of God,  I have to set priorities.  As much as I love this space, my priorities don't always include this space.

Sure, I could put my bible study and family on hold, but I'm not going to.  Sure I could put my laundry and housework on hold - wait- I do that, but not for the blog, just for my family. Working full-time, taking care of my family, volunteering after school 3 days a week, keeping up with my church responsibilities, and keep up with a blog is challenging.

Part of being a child of God is being able to identify areas of struggle, areas of temptation, areas that will pull us away from our priorities.

It is so easy to come here and post for the sake of posting. You know, getting those likes and shares.  We want to know that people have a desire to hear our words. But that's a temptation.  A temptation to put what you want ahead of what God wants, to put my self-centeredness above my family and other obligations.

When I come here, I want my heart to be in the right place.  I want this to be a place where I can focus on what God will have me say.  All to often we are quick to talk just to be heard.  I don't want you to hear me; I want you to hear God.

In my busyness of life (mama, teacher, robotics coach, academic team mentor, chauffeur, laundry doer, butler, maid, cook, custodian, counselor, nurse, psychiatrist, -----), I yearn for my quiet time. My time to be still and listen for His still small voice.  I yearn for my prayer time, my bible study time, my praise and worship time.

And He wants me to yearn for Him, to desire Him above all else.  And when I do, He can make me into the woman He wants me to be.

So, after reading this words......
turn the TV off
put the phone away
say goodnight to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snap Chat

be still
listen
breathe
yearn for Him
feel His closeness
take Him in

On the Fence?

First off, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone that has participated in the survey. Whether you have chosen to participate with me and this group or not, your feed back is very helpful.

For those that sent me your email, I will be contacting you very soon with more information.

For those of you that are on the fence,  let me say a few words of encouragement.

You are not alone in your journey.  Whether you decide to participate with me or not, you still have a heart to become the woman God intends you to be.  That is your first step, that acknowledgment that something just isn't right and you want to make it better, make it holy, make it God's.

You do not have to participate in this group to do that.  You just have to make a commitment to meet Jesus right where you are and let Him do a good work in you.

If you have questions, please feel free to email me.  I would be happy to answer any questions you may have that will help you make your decision.  Again, either way, this is up to you and God.  While I hope you would join me, I fully understand if you don't.  I will still be here to encourage you.

If you are new to this conversation, I invite you read this blog post and take my survey.

On Being a Writer: Limit

Do I wear many hats?

Yes.

Wife of an associate pastor/army chaplain/amazing man

Mama/maid/personal assistant/chef/chauffeur/referee to 3 boys (13, 9, and 5 years old)

Soccer coach (on break until June)

Sunday School teacher, nursery worker, VBS teacher

Robotics coach

Teacher of all things fifth grade and Common Core

Aspiring writer

Yes, many hats.

I told my friend, aka assistant robotics coach, I was considering taking over academic team.  She begged me to rid my mind of that thought.

Nope, don't really need anything else to do, another hat to wear.

Right now, in this season of life, I find it difficult to limit things so I can focus on writing.  Family and church will always come first.  And, well, I have two mortgages to pay, so I have to continue teaching.  Want to buy a house?  Everything else I do is for fun, for my sanity.  

I want my writing to glorify God.  Therefore, I've been working to take steps to get closer to Him.  I've set aside time for each day to read His Word. I take part in prayer and Bible study.  I fellowship with other believers.  I'm trying to limit my time on social media, on mindless iPad games, and idleness. I am becoming more conscientious about my time, not wanting to waste a moment.

My goal is to be more consistent and persistent in writing. I am going to take advantage of writing opportunities that may present themselves and find time to write as much as possible.

This writing life is definitely important to me, and I want to use this gift to reach others.

On Being a Writer: Rest

I almost chuckled reading this chapter: REST.

What's that???

Let's be honest.  Some of us feel like we don't have time for rest.  As a mama, I have the mindset that I don't have time to rest.  My kids reinforce that as well!

But seriously, here in my writing journey, I don't rest intentionally.  My rest from writing comes from the busyness of life as I know it.

There are times I've returned here to the blog and apologized for my absence and went on to explain what had pulled me away.  Not that anyone really cared, but I felt the need to explain myself.

But rest from this place is a bit different for me than it may be for other writers.  You see, my time here is contingent upon my time with Christ.  I made a deal with God (yes, I'm one of those people). If I didn't spend time with Him, then I wouldn't spend time here.

So sometimes life pulls me away.

My family.....we spend time together. We play together. I told my middle child the other day, "We are family and will suffer in misery together."  That was partly a joke because he didn't understand why we had to drive an hour away for his big brother's soccer game.  But it's true.  Family first, no matter what's going on.

My church.....I teach and volunteer and do what I can to minister to those in my church.

My career.....I'd love to say I have a writing career, but that's not where I am on this journey.  Teaching keeps me pretty busy.  Planning, preparing, meeting, grading......all that that comes along with teaching these young children.

For me, sometimes I need a rest from real life.  For instance, when I attended the Five Minute Friday retreat, I was rejuvenated.  I felt refreshed and ready to conquer the world with words (or at least share them more confidently).  My life experiences have helped me with reviving my writing.  The busyness that comes along with deployment, the struggles that came with my miscarriage.....those and other seasons of life have allowed me to step back from this space and return with fresh words.

One thing I am learning is REST IS GOOD.  After all, God took a rest.  If He did, shouldn't I as well?  Maybe that comes with age and experience, the realization that rest is truly good, and we shouldn't feel guilty for it.

On Being a Writer: Plan

If I haven't mentioned it, or if you haven't caught on, I am taking part in a discussion group with Kate Motaung and some other amazing writers.  For 6 weeks, (oh our time is almost up!) we have been reading On Being a Writer and discussing it's contents and how it is affecting us as writers.  As a newly proclaimed writer (it's surreal saying that), I have to say that this book has meant a lot to me. In fact, it has helped me with my brave.

~Plan~

During this season of life, it is very difficult for me to plan my writing. As Kate said on her blog, many of us wear a variety of hats.  I can totally relate.

Working full time as an elementary teacher + all the after school meetings that go along with that.

Robotics coach.

Mom of 3 boys who have lots of activities.

Soccer coach.

Sunday School teacher.

Yes, I think I wear quite a few hats.  Much of what I write, I would call impulsive.  Kate said,

"As a result, we would do well to make use of the moments we can snatch."


And that's what I try to do.  I try to snatch the small, quiet moments and write.  It's usually never planned.  Take today for instance.  After a faculty meeting, I was home alone with two children not feeling well. My oldest sone had not made it back from a round of golf with a friend, and my husband went on to church without us. My "plan" was to get this post typed up and published.  However, I had an idea about joy and thankful in times of trouble.  I couldn't shake the idea and just had to write it.

That's how much of my writing goes.

I have goals I'd like to reach in my writing, but I haven't actually planned anything out.  That takes time, the kind of time I don't have a lot of.  But I'm trying. I'm trying to be more consistent and more intentional. I think that's a start, and we've all got to start somewhere.

On Being a Writer: Engage

I think sometimes people just don't get writers. Words can be a little scary. Words can seem simplistic.  Words can.....well, words can do anything.  And writers get that.

While at the Five Minute Friday Retreat, I was asked if there were any other writers that I knew and talked with.  They only one I could think of was a coworker friend that has begun to blog more regularly about her faith.  Other than that, I didn't really have any real life writer friends.

I've been blessed to find some amazing online communities that have welcomed me with open arms.

When I first started blogging, one of the first blog hops I found was MckMama's Not Me Monday.  It wasn't for writers, per se, but it was fun getting to know others through the shenanigans of motherhood.  I got a taste of the writing style of others. I was able to begin interacting with other bloggers, learning about the people that were out there in cyber space, those who could potentially become engaged with me here at A Life Worth Living.

I then found Wives of Faith, an amazing online Christian community for military spouses.  Sara Horn has done a fabulous job reaching out to other military spouses and connecting with them.  In doing so, she offers the opportunity to submit blog posts to Wives of Faith.

Through this, I have developed some online friendships with other military spouses.  We are able to share words to support and encourage one another.  We are also able to pray with one another and grow and strengthen our relationship with Christ by taking part in the Survival Sisters program.  Because of Sara and Wives of Faith, I got my first taste of writing for other audiences that didn't include my blog followers.

Through Wives of Faith, I was able to become part of Kori Yates' online community called Planting Roots.  Again, this Christian community connects military women and spouses through the Word of God.  I have been able to have posts published at Planting Roots as well. This community is very welcoming to women who have a desire to lift up one another who are experiencing the ups and downs of military life.

And let's not forget the Five Minute Friday community.  I think this community has challenged me the most.  With a one word prompt and a timer set to five minutes, I desperately want to choose my response carefully.  Sometimes I get an immediate idea, and other times, I struggle to find the right words.  Either way, I think I've grown because of the Five Minute Friday community.  I've been encouraged by both reading other posts and through the comments left by others.

But perhaps the biggest impact from the Five Minute Friday community came from the Five Minute Friday Retreat.  When I first read that Kate and her crew were planning this, I was giddy about it, which is so unlike me because meeting strangers is not my cup of tea.  But the feeling just wouldn't go away.  After a lot of prayer and encouragement from my husband, I signed up and attended the first every Five Minute Friday Retreat.

To make a long story short (If you want the long version, just click HERE), I was forever changed by attending the retreat.  I found my people.  I found the people who "got me." Because really, they were just like me no matter how different we were.  We all had the same hopes and dreams when it came to writing and the sharing of our words.  It was simply a blessing.  I may never meet these ladies again in real life, but they will always be a part of me. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them.  I'm grateful for what they shared. I'm grateful for the love and encouragement they gave.  I am thankful for each of them.

It is so important that writers find those connections, people that they can encourage and challenge. People that get what is like to be a lover of words.  I am thankful for the opportunities that online communities provide for people like me, those that want to grow as a writer and take advantage of the power of words to have an impact on the world.

On Being A Writer: Discover

Whenever I post here on the blog, my words are just as much for me as anyone else.  Words are a way for me to express myself, to share my feelings, my life.  I try to be real.  Sometimes that's hard.

Other times, it's too real.

I've shared with you my miscarriage back in 2013.

I've shared with you my experience of deployment.

I've shared with you about how being a mom is tough.

I think in that sharing, in the being real, that's where we find ourselves.

In the being real, we have emotional breakthroughs.

In the being real, we feel empowered.

In the being real, we have freedom of self expression.

In the being real, we discover ourselves.

Like Charity Craig says, "I need to be all in."

To do this writing thing correctly, I have to have my head and my heart in the game.  Really, it's all or nothing. I can't write just to write. I can't post just to post. Words aren't just words. They are living.  They have power and must be treated accordingly, not half heartedly.

I think the more I write, the more real I want to be. I believe that will make me transparent so that others can see Christ in me.  Isn't that the goal of the Christian?  I have the amazing opportunity to do that here on the blog.

Each time I write, I find out more about myself.  I become a little braver.  Each time I write, I enter a world of discovery.

On Being a Writer: Promote

When I first started this blog, I made a promise to God that I would use it to bring Him honor and glory, that if I didn't spend time with Him, then I wouldn't spend time here.  This blog was important to me, but God was (is) even more important.  You can read more about that in my first blog post.

For me, blogging was a way to share what God was doing in my life.  At that time, I was becoming more involved in leadership roles in my church. Jeff was in the process of becoming an Army Chaplain. I was raising two sons with another on the way. Let's not forget about working full time.  Life was busy and there was so much room for God to work.  His work and love could be written about here.

But who would read it?

My friend Kim introduced me to blogging, so I started clicking on blogs she followed and leaving comments.  My hope was that those people would come back to my blog and share the love.  I guess that was my first taste of self promotion.  It was a little scary.  Was it the right thing to do?  Did I want strangers actually reading my blog?  The Internet can be a creepy place.  I was relieved to read in On Being a Writer that Charity did the same thing: I left comments on other blogs or linked to other posts by other writers hoping for reciprocation.

Like Ann, I promoted the work of others. I was involved in launch teams for Sara Horn.  It was fun to get involved and connect with others on topics we felt strongly about through books and blog posts. I was able to make friends and connections at the same time.

Through Leafwood Publishers, I was introduced to author Nancy B. Kennedy and was able to read and review her books. I count it a blessing to know her and support her writing.

The more comfortable I got in actually clicking publish, I felt that I needed to extend my audience.  After all, if I am sharing about God, I need people to actually read it.  I became involved in blog hops and link ups.  One of the first was MckMama's Not Me Monday. As an imperfect mom and wife, it was fun to meet up each week and share in the shenanigans of life.  Wives of Faith has also had some blog hops such as Wife to Wife Wednesday, Military Family Gratitude Photo Challenge, Military Spouse Appreciation Link Up, and the Wives of Faith Christmas Blog Carnival. I was able to meet some other bloggers through these activities, and I am hoping that some of them are still readers.

Because I wanted to reach more readers, I created a blog button for others to share on their blogs. I was one of those new bloggers that would click on those buttons to visit new webpages and meet new people.
But in all of this getting my name out there stuff, I had a struggle.  I know I'm supposed to be writing. I know God has given me a gift, but how far does it go?  How much do I self promote?  Is that sinful?  Those are questions that I've had great difficulty with.  After publishing a really great blog post (well, I thought it was great), I didn't get much response.  The response I got was from two relatives.  I'm thankful for that, but I was shocked the response wasn't greater.  I was disappointed and began to reflect on the whole situation.  I then posted about that in How Many Likes Can I Get?

But honestly, why did I click Publish?  Was it to get a million Likes or to stand up for Jesus? 
Hard question.  It shouldn't be, but it is. 
I was standing up for Jesus, but I also wanted to get a bunch of Likes and Shares too.  Hypocritical, I know. 
So where is that happy medium.  Can't I do both?  I think for me, I have to realize and understand that it doesn't matter how many Likes and Shares I get. What matters is that I spread the message for Christ.  That even though one person might read my post, that one person was hopefully touched. 

For me, I know my heart is in the right place. I know that whether I publish here or at Wives of Faith or Planting Roots or finally fulfill my dream of writing a book, that my heart is connected to God's and that's why I share words. For Him.  With sharing His work in my life, there has to be some promotion.  I have to get my name out there.  I just have to always remember: it's not about me; it's about Him. If I get to big headed, I know God will convict me of that prideful sin.

I do know that I have to promote.  I'd prefer the old fashioned method of word of mouth from those that now about this little space on the Internet.  However, I know there is a great big world of social media out there that can promote His work in my life.

You can find my words about this Life Worth Living here at my blog. 

You can follow the blog on Facebook. 

You can also find some of my favorite posts on Pinterest on my board Blogs and Such.  

I also tweet out my blog posts although I am not an expert in the Twitter world.

And Instagram...I have an account but I'm not sure how to use it for my blog.

There. My social media connections are out there. What I ask is this....

If you find something here on the blog that you feel is worth sharing, please share it.  You and I can be a team in spreading the word of God's love.  That's my goal here, and I hope that's your goal when you visit here as well.

Here's to promoting the Word of God!

Send, Submit, Publish, Print

When I first started writing, I had no idea who my audience would be.  I only new one other blogger personally. Kim and I were college friends, and I learned about blogging through her.  From then on, I searched out and read other blogs for two reasons:

1. To read
2. To be read

My thinking was a that if I visited other blogs and left comments, that maybe those people would visit my blog and share it others.

As time passed, I came across Wives of Faith, an online community for military spouses.  As a new military spouse, I fell in love with WoF and made some fabulous online friends.  I've written a couple of blog posts that have been published on the website.  You can read them HERE.  It was exciting to write something that could possibly be published somewhere other than my blog.  However, it was nerve wrecking waiting to hear whether or not my blog post was good enough.  I felt like it it wasn't, then I wasn't a good writer.  I've overcome that to a point and realize that my topic of choice may not be what they were looking for at that time.

Eventually, I joined a Bible study group through WoF.  Not to study the Bible, but to write a Bible study.  I felt this was an amazing opportunity.  My topic was close to my heart because it related to the deployment my family was experiencing.  Unfortunately, it took longer than I anticipated to write the study.  I was new at this type of writing, my husband was home from deployment, and I became pregnant and had a miscarriage.  I finally got my study completed and turned in.  However, I don't know what's happened with it.  I never heard back from anyone in the group. I didn't get feedback on it.  Needless to say, I was quite disappointed.  I'm still hoping that it's in the archives somewhere and will make it online or in print sometime.  As a military spouse, I realize that things happen, priorities change, and sometimes things just don't work out the way we planned.

Later, I was fortunate enough to complete the Olive Drab Pom Poms Bible study with Kori Yates.  Shortly after that, Kori launched a new online community called Planting Roots.  I was also given the opportunity to submit blog post for this blog as well.  Feel free to read them HERE.  One of my favorite submissions was chosen to publish.  Because Planting Roots is also a Christian military community, I was really nervous about this piece. It related more to love and marriage than military topics.  However, I was pleasantly pleased with how it turned out because it connected my love of love songs with the love of Christ.  You can read Living a Love Song HERE.

These are the only two places I have submitted work to.  I became a bit giddy when I saw that my favorite Christian radio station had an online blog.  My brain got to work thinking of possibilities, but I have yet to submit anything.

My wish is to have the time (unlimited time) to really dive into writing.  To put my heart and God's heart together and write.  Although I'd love to publish a book, I'm content with this little space.  It's working for me right now.  I do have a desire for more though, and maybe I will recognize the time for more, but not force that time to come sooner.  I am looking for opportunities to write; it's just difficult working full time and raising little ones.  I tell my husband all the time to just get rich so I can write.  He says I need to write a book and then get rich, that way we can both do the other things we desire.

Whatever happens, I've discovered that writing is a part of me. I will write whether I'm sending, submitting, publishing, printing, or holding on to my words.  I'm grateful for the opportunities that online communities provide for women like me.

Write

Growing up, I'd always wanted to be a teacher.  I loved playing school with the neighborhood kids and my imaginary class.  I would incorporate some of my real life school experiences into my make-believe classroom.  Teaching was my goal, my dream.

There was a brief moment my junior year of high school when I took Accounting that I thought of changing my career.  I did pretty well in that class, learned how much money I could earn and seriously considered becoming an accountant.  Then I remembered that I wasn't really the math person I thought I was.  I scratched that idea and decided teaching elementary school was more my speed.

Throughout all of this, I was a lover of words. I loved to read.  In fact, when I was in middle school, I read 17 Harlequin Romance books over spring break.  I even loved to write. In 6th grade, my friend and I wrote a book for Young Authors.  I wrote poems and envisioned what I would write about if I ever wrote a book.  And music.....music touches my soul because of its use of words.

I love words.

And the older I've gotten, I've grown to love them even more.

I have a greater desire to write.

When I first starting blogging, I came across blogs that I fell in love with. I loved the authors' writing styles. I loved how they touched my heart with their words, making me laugh and cry. They had me coming back for more.

It got to the point where I kept thinking, "I can write like that."  So, I tried to be more consistent in my writing. I've tried to continue to write about my family and expand more into devotional and inspirational writing.  I want people to be encouraged when they come across my words.

However, I've had the same feelings as mention in On Being a Writer....

"Where is the story, the perspective, the hope that only I can express?"

I too have found myself in the pages of others books, in the words typed to their blogs.  I too have that story, but what makes my story unique?  What makes my story.....my story?

When I start with those questions, I start doubting myself, my writing ability.  I sometimes begin to feel like my story isn't worth telling.

But it is.

My blog comments tell me it is.

Text messages from friends and coworkers tell me it is.

God keeps reminding me that I have a story to tell.

I love to write, and I like to think I'm good at it.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies, but we just have to remember that God has given us a gift, and we need to use that gift to the best of our abilities.

So once I overcome the struggle of being good enough, there are other factors I have to deal with.  Probably the biggest obstacle I have in writing is time.

My question is....Is this the write time for me to be writing?

I want so badly to drop my children off at school each day, come home, get the laundry and dishwasher going, and then read and write. I want to write my blog posts. I want to write a book.  I want to write full time.

There's a little thing called debt standing in my way.

Car loan.

Two mortgages (Anyone want to buy a house?).

Student loans.

Yep, I've gotta pay my bills.  Maybe I could win the lottery.....only I don't play, so that may be an issue.

Writing full time, making it a money making career, just isn't an option for me.  I could quit for now and wait until the time is perfect, when the bills are paid off and the kids are grown up.

But like Ann Kroeker says, "If I wait for ideal conditions, I'll never get anything done."

I need to take advantage of the time I have, manage my time better, and just write.

If it's important to me, if it's what I honest and truly feel I'm supposed to do, I just need to write.

Notice

While at the Five Minute Friday Retreat, I had been chatting with my soul sisters, and then I taken some time to sit by myself to absorb the conversations and interactions of our group.  Martha said to me, "Don't you know you are supposed to talk at these types of things?"  

And yes, I totally agreed with her, but I'm a people watcher. I'm a listener.  

And in that moment, that's what I was doing. I guess you can say that's how I notice things.  

For me,  taking a step back, observing my surroundings, the goings on, the interactions of others, those things help me when it comes to writing.  I think a lot of my writing is about relationships, whether with my coworkers, family, friends, or God.  Observing relationships is one of the best ways to write about them.

I'd love to write down what I notice as soon as it happens. That's ideal.  But these little guys get my pens and papers and take off with them.  So, the next best thing is quick pics with my cell phone.

My kids laugh at me, but I don't care.

"Mama, why are you taking a picture of that?" they ask.

"I might need it, so I want to remember it."

"That's funny!"

So, I click away on scripture, things I underline in books I'm reading, insects, scenery, and unsuspecting loved ones.  I try to capture that moment.

Because I want to remember.

I want to study that picture for what the naked eye can't see....for what the heart can.

I have to admit, when I started reading this chapter (Notice) from On Being a Writer, well, it was a little depressing.  I remember those moments when my own little guys did the sweetest, cutest things....

"Mama, I need my dip dip (chapstick)"

"I'm going to be a pilot when I grow up. Jesus talked to a pilot before he died."

"Can I eat some of those straight line things (pretzels)?"

"My name is Cheeseburger."

"Hey, Pooper (Cooper), let's play."

Yes, those sweet baby boy voices, the inability to pronounce certain sounds, the hugs out of nowhere, the one millionth "I love you, mama," of the day. I was starting to miss those.  And it's strange.....some of them go away and you don't even notice until one day, your memory is jogged and you yearn for what once was.

We do need to take time to notice, whether we are writers or not.  For one day, our little baby boys will be growing into men. If we aren't paying attention. We will miss it.

My goal is to be more intentional in noticing, giving my undivided attention to conversations and interactions.  I want to bask in the moment.  I know when I do, when I am intentional about what I notice, I'll be able to share words that will bring encouragement, laughter, and hope.

What Should I Write About Today?

When I started writing here on the blog, I made a promise to God that this space would be honoring to Him.  Regardless if I were posting about my family, my job, or whatever topic came up, my words would be used to glorify Him.

But how can I do that?

I have to surround myself with books and people and sights and sounds that speak of Him.

I've made a commitment to study His Word, to hide its words in my heart.  Personal Bible study, teaching Sunday school, and daily devotions help give me the words I need to share about my Lord.

Being with others who share my beliefs, who are in the same season of life as I am, or who mentor to me also gives me inspiration for writing.

Motherhood always provides detailed topics as well.  And don't forget the  adventures (and misadventures) of being a military spouse.

Now, not every single exposure brings about writing inspiration.

Sometimes it takes me losing my witness or dealing with difficult people to inspire my writing.  Those are the times that a "slap in the face" stirs the words to the point they have to be written down.

Although I do my best to surround myself with things to inspire my writing, it isn't always easy.

Being a full time school teacher, a mom of three boys, a supportive wife, a soccer coach, and taking on other roles, I don't always have the time to indulge in the things that inspire me.  Reading, writing, traveling, and fellowship are not always possible.

In my dream world, I'd love to have a flexible schedule (and lots of money) to be able to read and write, experience and write, and well....just write.  My husband tells me I need to write a book. I told him to get rich so I don't have to work and I will!

I do find that some of my experiences stir my creativity to write, but I often don't.  Sometimes its the time factor, and sometimes its the personal factor: will this person read this blog post and get offended.  There have been  several times I've wished to share my insight or thoughts here, but I felt it wasn't appropriate to risk offending a loved one or friend.  That's extremely difficult since I so desire truth.

My schedule may not be perfect, but I am trying to learn how to surround myself with things and people that influence my writing in a positive manner. That's the goal, to use truth, real life, the ugly, to show how God works in all things.