Five Minute Friday: Whole

Welcome to this space devoted to Five Minute Friday, a time of taking a one word prompt and writing for five minutes.  Sounds simple enough.  Just enough time to let words flow. No overthinking. No editing (although the writing teacher in me has to correct mechanics).  Just writing. For me, seeing how God uses that one word.

Ready? Here we go.

I feel like something is missing, that I'm incomplete in some way.  There's no denying what it is.  When I think the reason, I feel the tears coming. I remember what took you away from me.   I never knew you this side of heaven.  Not physically anyway.  But emotionally, in my heart.  That's different.  I was so excited about you. Couldn't wait to meet you and introduce you to your big brothers.  I didn't care if you were a boy or a girl.  I just wanted you.  A healthy you.

But

I'm incomplete.  I'm not whole.

You left us before we even held you. Before you were really able to grow and develop in my womb.

But

You are such a part of me.

Because of Jesus, I have the hope of  tomorrow.  I have the hope that one day, a glorious day in heaven, that I will hold you. I will finally hold you.

I think about today.  We should have a birthday celebration. You'd be two years old.  As a mama of three already, I know what that age brings. What a blessing that age is.  And.....this year is incomplete. Not whole.

But

Because of Jesus, that hole in my heart is filled by hope.  Hope that I will see you, hold you, and be made whole.

Thank you for joining me for this FMF post. Don't forget to head over to my friend Kate's page to join in.  

Five Minute Friday: Hope

When that second line showed up, I had only hoped for a healthy baby.  With three boys already, I was fine being a "boy mom" and honestly didn't care if you were a boy or girl.  Healthy is what's always mattered to me.

We hoped that your brothers would be excited about you. They were.  They were eager to start telling and so were Dad and I.

We spread the news of you....our newest blessing.  I was nervous though.  It was early.  We had just found out about you and didn't wait until the first trimester was over like we had with your brothers.

Then that day....

That day I saw something.

My hope was that it was nothing, but in the pit of my stomach, I knew it was something.

My hope was that everything would be ok.

The coming weeks were a nightmare.  The tests. The waiting.  And then the news.

You had stopped growing.  We would never hold you in our arms.

On Earth.

But I know Jesus.

In Him, I have hope.

I have the hope of seeing you one day in heaven.  Wrapping my arms around you....finally.  Hearing you call me "Mommy" for the first time.

That's my hope.  I knew you when you were growing inside of me.  I loved you then, and I love you now.

Thank you for joining me for this week's Five Minute Friday prompt. This is a time for a wonderful community of people (some of whom I am excited to be meeting next month) come together and share words for just five minutes.  Care to join in?  Head on over to katemotaung.com and link up with us.  You won't regret it.

Five Minute Friday: Good

I anticipated this week's word to be FINISH, but I was wrong.  I'm ok with today's word.  It's really good.

There is so much wrong in the world. So much negative. I loathe watching the news. Hate it with a passion.  There's never anything good.

Recently, I wrote a blog post about a bad week I was having and then making the choice to focus on the positive.  Each day, that is what I will try to do when things don't seem to be going my way.

Why?  Well, because of Jesus.

You see, I have this relationship with Him.  He has been so good to me, and I owe it to Him to be the best I can be....for Him.

He loves me.

On this Good Friday, as I read scripture with my children, I am reminded that, although brutal, Jesus' death was good.  It had to happen. It was in God's plan.  Had Jesus not died for me that day, I would have no hope.

For me, looking for the good, having that hope, is a way to honor Jesus. It is pleasing to him. When I can praise Him in my storms, that can show others that my faith, my hope is in Him.  Jesus is my all in all.  He made the ultimate sacrifice for me.  The least I can do is look for the good and help others to see that regardless of what's wrong in the world, that there is still hope. There's still Jesus.

Thank you for sharing this Good Friday with me.  I pray that you and your family focus on Jesus. If you don't know Him personally, seek Him. And remember. A lot can happen in 3 days.