The Frazzled Female Week 6: Near to the Heart of God

When I began this week's study (the final one), I had a very difficult time getting into it.  Quite a bit of it was about  depression, something I have not experienced.  I have had my share of ups and downs, a bit of the baby blue's, but never experienced true depression.  At first I couldn't understand how this tied into the last week of study (kind of depressing don't you think, to end talking about depression?)! 

I am by no means a medical expert and won't even attempt to give medical advice on the matter.  However, I will say that from what I have found 1 out of every 4 women will suffer from depression.  That would be the equivelent to 5 of the ladies I am doing this study with. 

Depression is not a weakness in character or spirituality.  It is not a cause for embarrassment.  It seems that depression is telling you that you have had enough. That emotionally, physcially, mentally you are empty.  You need to be refueled.

In 1Kings, Elijah had had enough.  He had been working for the Lord. He had been successful. When he was on his mountaintop after having the prophets of Baal done away with, Jezebel's threat became the breaking point.  He ran. He hid. He asked God to just let him die.

That was not the answer for Elijah.  It still is NOT the answer for us. 

Regardless of what pit we are in, regardless of how weak we feel. There is hope. There is an answer. It is found in Jesus!

Isaiah 40:29 says, He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might he increases in strength. Verse 31 adds, But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

In Isaiah 41:10, our Father says, Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Just because we are Christians, that doesn't mean our lives are going to be perfect, free from pain and suffering.  God never told us our journey would be easy, only that He would be there with us.

I know there are times that He seems distant. Our prayers aren't being answered. Things seem dim.  But there is Light!  God may not be ready to reveal Himself and His plan.  He may be readying us for something else.  During our Upward devotional today, we were reminded that God's ways are not our ways. When things seem to be taking forever or we seem to be in that pit, God is giving us time to think, time to pray, time to draw closer to Him.  We need to listen for that still small voice instead of seeking Him in the wind and earthquakes. 

The Lord is there. We just have to trust Him. We have to draw near to Him.

There is a scene in the movie Forest Gump where Forest is on his shrimp boat, and he sees Lt. Dan on the dock.  He waves and immediately dives in the water to greet his friend.  Forest was so eager to be near to Lt. Dan, that he plunged into the water and swam to him instead of taking the time to slow the boat down, guide it gently to the dock, and secure it.  We when watch that, we laugh and think how silly.

But get this....

Tonight, as I read John 21 as part of the Weekend Mini Retreat for my Frazzled Female study, I froze (and smiled) on verse 7: Therefore, that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea.

Peter's Friend, his Lord, Jesus was there on the shore. He couldn't wait for the boat to be rowed in and secure. He immediately jumped and and swam to reunite with Jesus. 

To me, that is a beautiful picture.

A picture we could learn from.

We should eagerly greet Jesus each day.  We should make him a priority the number 1 priority in our lives. Like Mary and Peter, we should stop what we are doing and find ourselves sitting at his feet.When we do that, we will find that He delivers us from those pits, those caves we find ourselves in.  He keeps His promises to guide us and protect us, giving us strength and hope.

The Frazzled Female Week 5: I Missed It!

No, that wasn't actually the title for the week.  I actually missed our group!  Is that even legal for the leader??? 

Carson, bless his heart, is sick.  So yesterday about 10am, I called to make an appointment to see his pediatrician.  When the lady answered the phone, I totally quit listening. All that I could think was, "That's strange. They never answer. It is always automated."  I told her, "I need to make an appointment for this afternoon for my son."

All was quiet. Then I heard, "Your sooonnn?"

"Yeeesss," I replied, wondering why she was stretching out her words.

"Ummmm..."

Then it hit me. "Oh, I have called the wrong doctor, haven't I?"

With laughter, "Yes, ma'am you have!"

Oh, girl, you didn't! Oh, girl, I did! I called my OB/GYN to make an appointment for my 5 year old son!  Yes, I did!

After the laughter died down, I finally got Carson an appointment to see his doctor at 4:30 yesterday.  We actually got in at 5:30. Finally got home at 7:00.  What a long afternoon. 

Thankfully, Hilarie and Edie took charge of bible study.  Thank you, my BFF and my big sister I never had! I can't wait to hear how it went.

Back to week 5....It was actually titled I'm Frazzled. 

Yes. I am. Are you?

The Defrazzler for the week was to make time to do something for yourself.  Oh, that was so hard for me.  I have this obsession with feeling guilty when I think of myself.  However, I decided since it was strict instructions, I could do it. 

I decided to take a LONG, HOT BATH BY CANDLELIGHT. Oh, I immediately thought of how relaxing that would be.  I was so excited, and a little guilt stricken, to tell Jeff what I HAD to do.

It

Never

Happened.

Not that he didn't try to help me. Jeff even asked me if he could run the water for me.  But it wasn't a good time.  The kids were still hog wild and I knew I couldn't relax with "MAMA!" coming from the otherside of the door.  So, it never happened. 

I actually tried getting in a little needed physical activity.  I got 5 whole minutes on the treadmill.  Carter threw a fit.  Wanted on there with me.  So, I got off. Guess it was bad timing.

I know I need ME TIME. It is just so hard to find it.

The rest of the week's lesson focused on me (or you if you are doing the study) as an individual. 

In 1 Corinthians 6:19, we are reminded that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. 

Stop and think about that.

THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVES IN YOU. YOUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE.

Now ask yourself, HOW ARE YOU TREATING YOUR BODY?

Are you getting enough sleep?  Eating and drinking well? Are you getting your daily exercise?  Are you stressed due to your schedule or unconfessed sin or burdens you refuse to let go of? 

So many things affect our relationship with Christ.  All of those things I just asked can affect your closeness to him.  Now I'm not the healthiest person in the world, but I know when I neglect my body, I am not connecting with God like I am supposed to. 

One thing that we need to be aware of as well is our unconfessed sin.  God will not bless us if we don't confess our sins to him. We can't grow spiritually without doing that. 

The last thing that really struck me was the last lesson: MY IDENTITY.  We had to think about who we are.  Here is how people know/recognize me:

Colin, Carson, and Carter's mom.  Do you know how many times I have heard, "Mom, that is (fill in the name of one of my kids) mama.

Jeff's wife

teacher

Barb and Jerry's daughter

Doug's sister
No one has ever said, "Yes, I know you. You are a child of God."  In reality, that should be the first thing people say when they hear our name. That should be what defines us. Not our careers, our hobbies, or our families. 

Each of us was knit together in our mother's womb. Each of us are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Each of us, if we have surrendered our lives to Jesus Christ, are a part of the family of God.  That alone is what should stand out about us.

As Christians, we must hold our heads a little higher, but not so high as to look down on others. As Christians, we must speak a little softer, encouraging others and leading them to Christ.  As Christians, we must remember how we got here, not by our works, but through the blood of Jesus on the cross.  As Christians, we must remember who we are.... We are sons and daughters of The Father, brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ. 

That is our identity.

The Frazzled Female Week 4: People are getting on my nerves!

Last night we had a wonderful meeting.  I have to say, I LOVE ALL OF MY FRAZZLED FEMALES!  We laughed, we shared, we cried.  How wonderful is that!

One thing I learned this past week is "GET OUT OF THE WAY."  Take mySELF out of the equation.  Focus on God and my people problems will work themselves out (He will be the one taking care of them, not me).

Hilarie put is so well last night when we were talking:  It isn't like people wake up in the morning and say, "I'm going to get on (insert your name here)'s nerves today," or "I'm going to hurt (insert your name again)'s feelings today."

What happens is we let them do that to us. 

One of Cyndi Wood's "problem solvers" was to MAKE IT NOT MATTER.  And you know what? That is a really good idea, to pray and ask God to make things that shouldn't matter to us not matter.

This Bible study has been so amazing to me for me.  I feel like I am growing. I hope it shows. 

by the way....the crash the Saturday was my elephant table. Either he tried escaping or one of the boys knocked him over.  What do you think?

The Frazzled Female Week 3

Week 3? Really?  I can't believe it! This is the halfway point of our study!

This week's study was entitled "I Don't Have Enough Time!"

Have you ever said that?  I think we all have.

One of the big things that I came away with was that I need to focus on God.  I was reminded of that this morning at church when we looked at Matthew 22: 37 when Jesus commanded, "You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your mind."

"What's that got to do with time?" you ask.

If I love God the way I am supposed to, if He is truly the center of my life, then I will be passionate about Him.  His thoughts will become my thoughts. His ways shall become my ways.  My mind will be occupied by Him.  If I do that, then I will know what things I'm involved in that I shouldn't be.  I will know when to say no, where to draw the line with extra activities.  I will be able to manage my time in a way that brings honor and glory to Him.

Our priorities should be:
1. God
2. Family (spouse then children)
3. Work

If I get my priorities out of whack, them my relationships will suffer. 

Satan is good in the fact that he takes our "I don't have enough time" excuse and uses it to break us.  He makes us believe that we don't have time for Bible study and prayer.  When we think this way, we are pulled away from God.  The other areas in our life begin to suffer.  But in all honesty, we should not have to make time for God.  It should not be an option.  Everything else can wait.  The laundry will always be there (trust me).  The toys will be gotten back out right after they are put away (trust me). We need to focus on storing our treasures in heaven.  We need to read our Bibles. We need to pray without ceasing. We need to worship God throughout our day.  Busy or not, God must be first in our lives. 

When we put Him first, God will bless us in the other areas of our lives.  He will help us become the mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends, and even housekeepers we are supposed to be.  When we have a passion for Christ, to become and remain intimate with Him, we can't lose! 

Matthew 6:33-34 says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about its own things."

This week, I encourage you to seek God's will. Study His Word. Talk to Him. Listen to Him.  Put Him first.  If you do, He promises to bless you in unimaginable ways.

The Frazzled Female Week 2

This week we have focused on keeping a positive attitude.

Oh, I'll admit, sometimes that is hard!

This past week a couple of things have happened that could very easily cause one to lose heart and be negative.

First, we had progress monitoring meetings at work. My meeting was set up on the second day. I had heard how horrible some of the other meetings had gone, that the teachers came out feeling attacked and worthless. I had a choice to make, I could either expect the worst and go in on the defensive, or I could go in with a positive attitude and roll with it.

I chose to go in with a positive attitude.

Now, I am not saying that the meeting was perfect and I was never attacked about my abilities as a teacher, but I was able to handle the situation and take it all in stride.  I didn't come away feeling disgusted and disappointed.

Now if I had gone in expecting the worst and having a clear dialogue as to how I would respond to negative comments, the meeting may have come out differently. I definitely would have come out feeling worse than I did!

The second thing that happened, didn't happen to me, but an elderly couple in our church.

Tuesday afternoon, severe weather struck our community.  We gathered our students in the hall until the all clear was given.  We thought everything was OK until I learned that a home in the county had been destroyed.  It was the home of Mr. Will and Mrs. Eleanor from our church.  Thank God they were not home, but in Nashville with Mr. Will's family.  However, rescue workers were searching for their bodies because both vehicles were home and the couple was no where to be found. 

When interviewed by the news stations, both Will and Eleanor were very positive and up beat about the situation.  Their church family and community friends had come to their aid, packing up what was not damaged and taking it to storage for them.  Mrs. Eleanor told us this afternoon that they have been offered 3 houses to rent while they rebuild.  She said, "Will and I are strong people, but this is all God. He is blessing us in so many ways. I don't know why this happened to us, but He does, and we just have to trust Him."

Now, this elderly couple has so much to feel negative about. We would almost expect them to with their home of 20 years and vehicles and so many personal items destroyed. But Will and Eleanor have chosen to be positive and see God at work through this.

My point is that we do have a choice. We can choose to be negative, or we can choose to be positive. Our attitude is a choice. 

Sometimes we feel entitled to our negativity, that so much has happened to us, and we are just so pitiful and don't deserve all that we have laid out before us.  I think we all have moments like that. If we do, that is fine, but we must move pass that....quickly.  We have to choose to see the beauty in the midst of darkness, the flowers among the weeds, the love behind the hurt. 

It is hard, but possible. We can do anything through Christ.  We must ask for His help.  We must make having a positive attitude a daily choice until it becomes who we are. 

***

I am so excited about meeting with our study group tomorrow night. I am so thankful I'm not sick anymore!  Most of the ladies should be there, although we had almost 20 last week, that wasn't the entire group. 

I do have a prayer request...

Please pray for our team of five (Brad and Brandy, Janice, Teresa, and Cindy), who will be leaving Saturday to help build an orphanage in Haiti. I am so excited for them.  Pray for their safety, health, and for lives to be changed!

The Frazzled Female Bible Study: Week 1

According to dictionary.com, frazzled means worn out; fatigued.

Does that sound like any of you?  I definitely fall into that category.

This past week, I began my journey with The Frazzled Female: Finding Peace in the Midst of Daily Life Bible study by Cindi Wood.

So, I will tell you, it has been a journey so far, trying to find peace when your almost two year old has decided to quit sleeping and you are coming down with something days before you lead the study in front of a larger than you imagined group of fine Christian women!

Whew! OK, girl, breathe!

But doing the first week's study, God has spoken to me (and if you let Him, He will speak to you too).  We must first make time for Him.  This is something He has really been after me about. 

Our first assignment for this week was a DEFRAZZLER: find a spot where you can rendezvous with the Lord each day.  Here is mine:

Now, it doesn't always look this good and I usually don't sit there alone. I don't even rendezvous at the same time each day. But it is my space.

Where do you go to spend time with the Lord each day?

As I continued my study this week, I came to realize that EVERYTHING I need comes from the Lord.  I just have to put Him first.

At the beginning of the week, we read about Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42).  I had first learned of these sisters during my first Bible study as a very new Christian. I was much like Martha. When people came to my house, I wanted to make sure that everything was as good as it could be.  When guests arrived, I would rush around making sure everyone was taken care of, the food was ready, and do whatever else needed doing.  I didn't take the time to talk with my guests like I needed to, to learn about them, become intimate with them.  Now, I am trying to be more like Mary, putting the important thing first. Jesus is the most important thing. 

And I think this story of Mary and Martha fits nicely with the closing scripture for the week, Colossians 2:1-7, specifically verses 6 and 7:

 I want you to know how hard I am contending for you and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not met me personally.  My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ,  in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.  I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments.  For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.  So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,  rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

I like to think that Mary was rooted in Jesus; she lived her life in Him by sitting at his feet. Therefore, her faith was strengthened.

That's how I want to be. 

Yes, I am the mom of 3 boys (the reason why I have been working on this post for about 3 hours now). I work fulltime. I have afterschool work responsiblities with my job. I teach Sunday school. My two big boys are playing basketball and have afterschool responsibilities as well. I have a toddler who decided 2 months ago not to sleep anymore.  Now add in all of my regular mom and wife duties. Many times we live out of clean clothes baskets and from drive through restaurants. I often don't spend time with my husband like I need to and can quickly lose my temper with my kids. 

Yes, I am frazzled, but if I stay rooted in the Lord and stay intimate with Him, then He will give me the strength I need to get through my daily life. He can give me peace. I must however acknowledge His desire for me and sit still long enough to hear Him speak to my heart.

I hope that you will join me on this journey of finding peace in the midst of everyday life.  I would love to hear from you if you are. 

There is so much more that I wish to say, but I've already unclogged the toilet this morning of sippy cups and sippy cup tops, broke up several fights, and caught a toddler do flips off the couch.

Tonight, I meet with a wonderful group of ladies at church, ladies in all seasons of life. Although I am the group "leader," I know that I will learn so much for them.  I can't wait to let you know how it goes! 

This Year I will LIVE

Well, the first day of the New Year will be coming to an end in just a few hours.  It has been an exhaustingly good day here.

We welcomed the New Year with a semi quiet evening at home with Hilarie and her family and Jeff's parents.  We enjoyed good food and played games.  The kids ran wild until well after midnight.  And then 9 AM Sunday school came very quickly! 

I hope you have some wonderful things planned for the year.

Our church is taking part in the E100 Challenge. In the next 100 days, we will read the 100 " big picture" passages from the Bible. I am really excited about this. I've read Day 1 - Creation: Genesis 1 and 2 and Day 2 - The Fall: Genesis 3. Following the daily plan, I should complete it around Easter.

On the 16th of this month, I will be leading The Frazzled Female Bible study at church.  I am excited at this as well. It looks like we are going to have a great group of women gathering for this 6 week study.  I would love for you to take part in it as well. I will be posting my thoughts and reflections throughout the study, so feel free to grab a book and join in! 

I recently read a post by Patti at Wives of Faith about her theme for the year.  It got me to thinking about life, about things I've been reading, about how I've been living. So, if I had to choose a theme for this year, I would choose LIVE. 

Why?

I've been reading Sara Horn's God Strong, a gift given to me by our church's youth group while Jeff was away at CH-BOLC. And so much of what she says has really struck a chord with me.  I must LIVE what I BELIEVE.

I trust God.
I know God is in control.
I know that God has a plan.
I believe that Jesus will walk by my side regardless of my situation.

I, however, don't know what this year holds for me and my family.  The Army Chaplaincy board will be meeting soon to decide whether or not Jeff will be a chaplain.  If he is, then there is always that possibility that he could be deployed. 

If he is deployed or my family is faced with any other type of hardship, I can't lose faith in my Jesus.

I have to LIVE my life by what I BELIEVE.  I have to LIVE my life being the best me that I can be.  I have to LIVE my life learning to say no and asking for help.  I have to LIVE my life focused on God.

So this year, I will LIVE.

I will LIVE the life God has planned for me the very best that I can. 

Happy New Year, friend!  May you LIVE a life pleasing to Him as well.