Did You Plan a Wedding or a Marriage?

My husband and I just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary last Friday. Sixteen years. That's a lot of years, Tony.  

We are what you would call high school sweethearts. Actually, we met when I was in middle school and started dating toward the end of my 7th grade year.  That was 26 years ago.  A lot has happened in those 26 years (and can I just say, I feel very old referring to that time as 26 years ago. Only old people talk about things that were "back in the day.").

We attended each other's junior and and senior proms. Danced together at homecoming dances. Cruised town in his candy apple red Chevy Nova with bench seats drinking slushies from Sonic.  We may have even made out a little in that car too, but I'd never tell.  We were there for each other's high school and college graduations. We had many firsts together.  Fun filled vacations, concerts, roller coaster rides.

Jeff proposed at sunset on the beach in June of 1998. I thought he was pulling at his underwear, not pulling a diamond ring out of his pocket.  He asked, I said yes, and we began planning a wedding.  

We planned the wedding. Not the marriage.  

And as I type out those words, I think about how much time, effort, and money we put into weddings. One single day.

To plan our wedding, I bought the necessities: magazines and wedding planning books. I sent off for every catalog I could think of.

I read them multiple times to make sure I was on target to having the perfect day.  I'd been to weddings that were ugly, unorganized, or boring, and I made a vow to have the perfect wedding.

I began getting free samples of invitations and printed napkins to compare prices and find something we liked.  

I made lists and more lists and lists for my lists.

I started dress shopping and tried on dress after dress after dress until I found The One.

Our total cost for the wedding day was about $2000. Probably not much more than that.  

All in all, I think we had a beautiful wedding.  The weather was perfect for the first of October in south central Kentucky.  Our friends and family filled the church. My aunts showed up with food for the reception which was a nice surprise.  Although the only food we got was the bite of cake we fed each other, everything was perfect. 

Looking back, I think about planning a wedding versus preparing for marriage.  In all honesty, we probably did very little in preparing for our marriage.  We were required to take a premarital counseling class with our pastor.  That was it.  

One of the things we had to complete was an Expectations Questionnaire.

1. How do you expect to be treated after you are married?

2. What are to be your areas of responsibility within the marriage and family?

3. What are to be your spouse's areas of responsibility within the marriage and family?

4. What were your father's responsibilities within the family?

5. What were your mother's responsibilities within the family?

6. Write a short autobiography about yourself. Describe  your childhood, religious background, major conflicts with parents, siblings, and/or God.

7. What are your plans for the future?

Those are all very good questions. Questions that all couples need to ask and discuss.

But I looked at one of my answers to question #2, and my heart smiled at my 22 year old self.

Work.

Work on the marriage.

Work on the marriage to keep it strong.

Work on the marriage to keep it strong and successful.

At 22 years old, I knew that a strong successful marriage took work.

Having the marriage I wanted would not just happen.  It would take effort. On my part and my husband's part. Before saying my vows, I was dedicated to doing that work.

I also knew, after having dated this man for many years before, that there was nothing I could do to ever change him.  I was marrying him, his quirks, and everything that would ever gross or freak me out. I was ok with that. I wanted to spend my life with him, and I knew that I would put a lot into this marriage.

When we said, "I do," my husband and I were not Christians.  We made a vow before God to keep our marriage sacred, but we had not yet given our hearts to him.  That would come some time later.  However, I had always prayed for our marriage. I had always prayed for my husband.  I had always prayed to be the wife he needed me to be.

And I still do.

We don't air our dirty laundry for all to hear.

We don't involve other people in the privacy of our marriage.

We pray.

God is the all knowing. God is the healer. God is the provider.  God is number one in our marriage.

I think one of the most difficult things about keeping our marriage strong would be putting my husband first since having children.  Now, I know that there are those of you who put your children first and your husband comes last, but I want you to consider what that does to your marriage.

Being a first time mom is hard.  Its even harder to have those deep, romantic moments with your husband. You are sleep deprived. You stink. You have spit up and poop stained clothes.  Being a new mom isn't very attractive.  But still. Your husband must come first.

As women, we want our husbands to love us and show us that love.  Our husbands want us to respect them and show them that respect.

We can fuss about our husbands not meeting our needs, but we have to ask ourselves, "What have I done for my husband?"

The best thing I can do for my husband is belong to Christ. He must come first. If my relationship with Christ is flawed, then my relationship with my husband will be flawed. If my relationship with my husband is flawed, then my relationship with my children will be flawed.

It all starts with Christ.

So many women have a problem with the word submission.  They cringe and laugh and run.  But girls. I'm telling you. It's biblical.  Submission doesn't mean to be a doormat.  It means to be the wife God has called you to be.  Really. You should read Sara Horn's book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.  

In all of this, I am asking you, did you plan a wedding or a marriage?  Most of us plan weddings and give little to no thought about what happens once the honeymoon is over.  What do you do when it gets hard? When the bills can't be paid? When illness comes?  When Satan tries to destroy what God deems as holy?

Marriage is work. It's hard work.  It's good work. I encourage you as you are filling your hope chest or taking things out of it, be sure that God is there with you.  Be sure that God is first in your marriage.  Seek Him.  You won't have a perfect marriage. You'll have a God centered marriage.  

Living A Love Song

Last year, I "met" Kori Yates through a study of her book Olive Drab Pom Poms.  Shortly after that, she launched an amazing online ministry called Planting Roots.  This ministry is geared toward reaching military families with the Gospel.

I have had the privilege of having Kori and her team of amazing women share a couple of my blog posts.  My most recent one is called Living a Love Song.  I hope you will head over to Planting Roots to read it.

Book Review: Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment

As a military spouse, I am always searching for something to grow closer to God, strengthen my marriage, and support my Soldier. 

Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment: 40 Devotions for Military Couples is written by Heather Gray.  She uses her experience as a military spouse to help military couples grow strong in the Lord and in their relationships with one another.

The 40 devotions included in this book covers topics ranging from separation to communication and from children to naysayers.  Each devotion is divided up into sections related to the title: Faith (which includes scripture for both spouses), Hope (a been there, done that personal story from Heather’s experience), Love (an opportunity to reflect on the devotion and write a love letter, so to speak), and Deployment (a challenge for the couple to become closer during separation). Included within these are discussion/reflection questions for the couple.

This is an amazing book for military couples, and I don’t think I have the words to do it justice.  I am thankful for Heather Gray and women like her that use their experience to minister to others. 

If you are a military spouse, I highly suggest you get a copy of this book. If you know a military couple, this would be a great gift to give them.

Please note that the author's husband was KIA in Afghanistan. This book was actually being written before he was killed, and Heather finished the book after debating about it.  For some couples, it may seem awkward to read a devotional written by a military widow. However, for me, I found comfort in Heather's words.  Not everything in the book relates to her husband's death, although certain devotions focus on it.  I see this as an opportunity to use the experiences of another military spouse to help strengthen my own military marriage.

 I received a free copy of this book from Leafwood Publishers for the purpose of review.  I was not required to write a positive review of this book.  

A Suitable Helper

Monday, I was featured at Wives of Faith.  You can check out my article on submission in my marriage by clicking HERE.

And The Winner Is....

Congratulations to Sara P. She is the winner of Sara Horn's new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.  Here is Sara's comment that helped her win.

I am new to the "Submissive wife" thing. Anthony and I have been married for almost 10 years and are just now starting to figure it out. For us, it is a mutual respect for God and each other. I want to be the wife that deserves respect, love and trust and he wants to be the husband that deserves the same. To do this, you must put God first. Everything else falls into place for us. I have also just come to understand that Anthony, my husband, will be held accountable to God for my actions as well as our children's reactions. This astonished me. I never looked at it like that before. As soon as I learned of these verses in the Bible, it made me look at my choices differently. I don't want to do anything to cause him to stumble. I want to aid him in being our family leader. That is submission to me. It's still a very large work in progress for us though, lol.

One of the things that I appreciate the most is Sara's statement that she doesn't want to do anything to cause her husband to stumble.  I think that is something that all wives should consider. Are we helping our husbands or causing them to stumble.

Sara P., congrats on your book. I can't wait to hear what you think of it after reading it. I am glad you are excited about it.  Sara Horn, thanks so much for allowing women the opportunity to get their hands on your book with the giveaways.

If you didn't win, you can follow Sara Horn on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sarahornwrites. She will be having more giveaways throughout the month.

Happy Release Day!

Today is the official release day for Sara' Horn's new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.

I am really excited for Sara and appreciate her allowing me to be a part of her My Wife Life Team to promote the book.  I was able to read and review the book. You can read my review HERE.

Some people hear the word SUBMISSION and start freaking out.  But really, I think married couples need to look deeper in to this submission thing.  It isn't about man being the controlling lord over his wife.  It is about relationship, a relationship that is in God's plan for marriage.  And isn't that what we all stood in front of our friends and family and vowed? That our marriage would reflect God's plan?

Just the other day, I was cleaning out my dresser, and I came across our wedding vows.

We gathered in the sight of God.

We promised to face the future together, accepting whatever may lie ahead.

We believed that God helped us find each other.

Scripture was quoted: Genesis 2: 18, 21-24

The Lord said it was not good for man to be alone.

He made a helper comparable to him.

A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.

They shall become one flesh.

We both promised before God and witnesses to 

love, honor, and cherish each other

forsake others

perform all the duties owed to the other

until parted by death.

To have and to hold

from this day forward

for better or for worse

for richer or for poorer

in sickness and in health

to love and to cherish

until parted in death

according to the law of God

The bands of gold we exchanged are reminders of

purity

honesty

and 

truthfulness 

that characterize the love we pledged to each other

The candles we lit symbolized that we were

united as one

We were challenged by out pastor to be a shining light

in our families

our church

our community

our world

When I read over those words, regardless of what I feel about the word submission, I know that if I truly believe the words that we recited that special day 14 years ago, then I will be the wife I am supposed to be. If my husband believes those words, he will be the husband he is supposed to be.

It isn't about control.  It isn't about trying to "one up" the other other.  It is about living out our vows and the promises we made in front of God.  Maybe that is what submission is.  We submit to God to be who He wants us to be.

What is your take on submission in marriage?  Negative? Positive?  Would you like to read Sara's book to find out about her experience?

I am actually giving away a copy of Sara's book.  Just visit the giveaway a couple of posts down or click HERE.

Q&A with Sara Horn and a Giveaway!

As most of you know, I was selected to be a part of author Sara Horn's My Wife Life Team to help promote her new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife. I have read this book and it is awesome. Actually, I've read them all and they are all amazing!

Recently, I was able to ask Sara a few questions about her experiment in biblical submission in marriage.

Q1. What would a submissive wife look like during a deployment?

Sara: My husband Cliff has been a Seabee in the Navy Reserves for 17 years now, and he is currently on his third deployment in the last six years. We have about eight months to go before he returns. We walked through this year-long experiment looking at biblical submission that I write about in the book, right after he returned from his second deployment, so I am learning what biblical submission looks like in a deployment first hand right now.

 For me, I think the biggest difference is attitude. I know it is easy sometimes to approach deployment as a military spouse with this determined, hunkered down, "it's all on me" kind of perspective, but I'm not sure that's always the best or most healthiest way to handle things. It's easier for resentment to grow and it's easier to feel less respect for your husband when you do that. You convince yourself you don't need him, because you think that will get you through the next several months apart, but in the end, that attitude can really hurt you and your marriage in the long run. Because deployments don't last, and eventually they do come home, and how you handle their absence during deployment is just as important if not more so than how you handle it when they return. 

Even during deployment, I still think of us as two, and even though he's far away right now, he's still part of our family, and he still leads our family. Now, can I go to him every day with decisions? No. But I'm not going to make decisions that I know he specifically wouldn't like or wouldn't feel comfortable with. I'm going to keep him in mind when I'm disciplining our son, and when I talk to him, I'm going to be sure to keep him in the loop on important things with the family. Trust and respect and communication are really vital.

Q2. What were some notable changes you saw in your son as a result of the submissive wife experiment?

Sara: I'm not sure if I saw any specific changes in Caleb as we were going through this. For one thing, we were in a house full of people for about half of the time and I'm not sure he would have noticed much to begin with. From his perspective (and I had to ask him just now), he has always seen his parents in a close, loving marriage. He's seen us kissing and holding hands, and he's seen us arguing and in heated discussions about things. But he's always seen those arguments resolved with apologies and hugs. He knows how much I love and respect his dad, because I tell him often, and he sees the respect and love his dad shows me. Just in the last few months before he left, I did notice Cliff very intentionally leading our son. He'd make sure he was doing his chores, and that Caleb was listening when I asked him to do something, and he was very deliberate in letting Caleb know the importance of helping me with things around the house. He would correct him when he wasn't doing what he was supposed to. I definitely saw changes in Cliff during our experience, really taking initiative to lead our family, and so in that way, I would say Caleb has been impacted. He's got a dad who is teaching him how to lead in a godly way as a man.

Q3. Has your submission experiment rubbed off on any friends or those who thought you were crazy?

Sara: That's a good question! I'm not sure, because if there is one thing I'm a firm believer in, making a decision to pursue biblical submission, or make changes in your marriage, can really only happen when you're ready for a change or for a heart change. It's gotta start with your own heart and your own awareness of a need to change some things, so I've been very careful, even in my small group at church, not to pressure or do anything that  would make someone feel guilty or something for not being at a point where they want to do this. There is one person in my life who seems to have softened in the last year towards her marriage and her family, though I have no idea if it has anything to do with what Cliff and I walked through and learned. I hope that as friends get hold of the book, that just like other readers I've heard from, I hope my friends will also be encouraged. 

Q4. How do you handle those moments when you were being "the submissive wife" and allowing your husband to lead when you didn't agree with him? (Those I told you so moments)

Sara: We had one of those just the other day when I was talking to my husband on the phone. :) I've started calling those moments Edit moments. Meaning you have to be willing to edit yourself and just because you feel like saying something doesn't mean you should. In our case, my husband was struggling with something that ultimately, he had made the decision on and it was a decision that at the time I had questioned him about but had respected and supported what he'd decided. At that moment on the phone, he was really struggling with some things he hadn't expected as part of that decision. It was tempting for me to say "I told you so, if you'd only listened to me" but as I was listening to him, I knew that wouldn't have helped him at all. So I listened. I encouraged where I could. I let him know I believed everything was going to be ok and that I believed in him. And I still trust that the decision my husband made, God is still going to honor and there will be blessings despite the challenges. 

I do want to make a point here, that biblical submission is NOT the equivalent of us as wives putting duck tape on our mouths and we aren't allowed to ever express an opinion or speak up when a decision is to be made. God did not make us to be doormats. NOT AT ALL. As wives, we should offer our opinions to our husbands, we should speak up when we're concerned the wrong decision is being made. But there's a way to do it that doesn't make our husbands feel small and there's a way to do it that helps our husbands consider our additional counsel, so to speak, as opposed to us saying "THIS is how it should be done." A loving tone and a graceful giving spirit goes a long way.

How would you like to have a copy of Sara's new book?  

Well, she would love for you to have a copy, so 

Sara is giving a copy to one of my lucky readers.  

You can have multiple entries by:

1. Leave a comment here describing what submission in marriage looks like to you.  

2. Visit Sara's store at sarahorn.com, come back here, and leave a comment telling us what your favorite item is.

3. Share this post via Facebook and leave a comment that you did.

4. Share this post via email and leave a comment that you did.

5. Leave a comment telling us who shared this post with you via Facebook or email.

I will randomly select a winner on Saturday, August 3. 

Good luck!

You can find Sara on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sarahornwrites

and

follow her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/sarahorn.

Book Review: My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife

Submissive is probably not a word that most women would want to have describe them; after all, we come from the generation of Girls Can Do Anything Boys Can Do Only Better.  We've been told to dream big, become independent, and successful. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with having goals and dreams, but maybe we need to take a long look at what being submissive really means when it comes to marriage.

That's exactly what author Sara Horn did.

After her Proverbs 31 experiment, Sara felt that God was leading her on another journey, what it means to be a submissive wife. Many people, including her husband, questioned why she would want to do this new experiment.  For Sara, it was finding out what God's will was for her as a wife and mom.  Her journey is documented in her book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.

Sara writes honestly about her journey through the submission experiment.  She discusses her highs and lows as she struggles to change her thinking, behavior, and attitude. I was able to relate to many of the things that Sara wrote about: the feeling/need to do it all, micromanaging a marriage whether you mean to or not, wanting more out of life/following your dreams, but not wanting that to interfere with your family responsibilities, and letting go so your husband can lead.  

Like most women, Sara didn't feel the call to be a domestic goddess, although the experiment did help her look at the responsibilities of marriage and family a bit differently.  Sometimes we can become resentful in having to cook and clean, in having to take care of children, and fulfilling other duties when it seems no one notices or helps. But in trying to live according to biblical submission, a new perspective is formed.

By the end of the book, I no longer viewed submission as a bad thing. Sara's story showed me that biblical submission can strengthen a marriage, yet, that submission and the process is different for each marriage. 

I loved reading this book. I laughed. I cried. I felt convicted. Most of all, I feel motivated to work on being more submissive in my own marriage. I highly recommend this book to any woman who has a desire to become the wife that God has planned for her.

I received a free copy of this book from Sara Horn and Harvest House Publishers as part of The My Wife Team. I was asked to read and post an honest review of this book. 

Submission

Yes, you read that correctly.

Submission.

I've just read Sara Horn's new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife. 

I really liked it and will be posting a review of it soon. 

But for now, I'd like to know your thoughts on submission in marriage.  Does it scare you? Do you think it is wrong? Is it politically incorrect?  Is it necessary? Should it be standard? What do you think?

Book Review: My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife

Like many women who read about The Virtuous Wife from Proverbs 31:10-31, Sara Horn felt intimidated and didn't like her. At the same time, though, she felt that there could be something there. Something that she needed to experiment with.  So, that set wife, mom, author Sara Horn on an experiment, a journey to study the Proverbs 31 wife and try to become more like her. She wrote about this experiment in her book My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife.

Throughout the journey, Sara saw success and failures.  She is a driven woman who has a strong desire to minister and work.  She has a husband who likes to help out.  During this experiment, the family was in a difficult season, unemployment for her husband and her quest to become domesticated. 

Sara found out that the most important part of the process would be her relationship with God.  If she feared him and strengthened her relationship with God, then her other relationships would fall into place.  She would be the woman God had planned for her.

I really enjoyed this book. Sara writes with honesty and humor.  It is easy to relate with her experience. 

I received a free copy of this book from Sara Horn and Harvest House Publishers as part of the My Wife Life Team.  I was not required to write a review.

When He Says He's Sorry

February 6, 2013

"I'm sorry I'm not there."

Those are words that break my heart.

A number of times in the last 12 weeks (3 months, 84 days), I have heard those words from my Soldier.  Each time I have told him to stop saying it.

He has missed so much.

Thanksgiving.
Christmas.
New Year's.
Children's activities.
Church functions.
Sick kids.
He's about to miss two of his children's birthdays.

I know he misses home. Home misses him.

But the last thing I want is for him to be sorry.

I am so proud of my husband.

He wears the uniform of those who love and dedicate themselves to our country. He carries his cross to bring honor and glory to our Father in heaven.  He has made the sacrifice to do what God has called him to do.

He has no reason to be sorry.

For us, here at home, our lives go on.  Children continue to grow. Jobs carry on. The same ol' same ol' keeps on keeping on.  Life doesn't stop for us simply because our husbands are serving overseas.

Wives, I cry out to you.  Support your husbands. Love them.  Honor them.  Don't allow them to say they are sorry for doing the work that God and Country have called them to do.

As I am typing this, I am picturing a scene from Titanic where Kathy Bates is portraying Molly Brown. She says to the women,  "I don't understand a one of you. What's the matter with ya? It's your men out there!"

And wives, those are our men out there. Whether they are on the front lines, on guard duty, serving as Chaplains, or even holding down their civilian jobs at home, those are our men.  They need us. They need us to honor, love, and respect them.  They need to know that while they are away, we are remaining totally dedicated to them and our families.  If they have the slightest doubt of our faithfulness, that affects them in such a tremendous way.  Don't do that your men. 

Growing up, I remember having the Golden Rule plastered in every classroom at school: Do Unto Others As You'd Have Done Unto You. 

Did you know that is also in the Bible? Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12 both tell us to treat others the way we want to be treated. 

I wish so badly that our world would live by that golden rule, those words of God.  And we can. And it can start with us military wives.  We can treat our husbands, our country's Soldiers, the way we want to be treated. 

Let's give our husband's a reason to not say they are sorry they aren't here with us.  Let's allow them be proud of us. Let's honor them by our actions and our words.  Will you do that with me?

Wife to Wife Wednesdays: Problems and Issues Within Military Marriages

We are a relatively new military family. In fact, we have been married for over 13 years, but have only been in the military for about 4 years.

The time apart has been most difficult for us; however, God has provided for us in so many amazing ways.  His blessings are what have gotten us through rough patches.

Jeff began traveling for his civilian job when Colin was two and a half years old. His first trip - 2 months in Japan.  During this time, Jeff missed Thanksgiving and Colin's Christmas program. Colin also locked himself in the bathroom with the bath running, and our heat went out.  At the end of this time, we had an ice storm,  and Jeff's flight was delayed.

Jeff continued to travel for work after Carson was born. After Carter was born, he attended CH-BOLC for 3 months. During this time, my grandmother passed away. We also had car and electrical trouble.

Jeff has continued to travel for both his chaplaincy position and for his civilian job. During each trip, we have experienced some sort of drama at home.

Looking back, I can see how these times were a blessing.  I can't imagine having to go through a deployment with 3 kids and never having to be by myself before.  It was almost like God was preparing us.

Another thing that has helped us has been technology.  We are blessed to live in the age of email, text messaging, and Skype.  These things have enabled us to keep in touch during times apart.

The main thing that has kept us strong is our faith in God.  Without Him, we couldn't do this thing called military life.

Perhaps one of the things that has touched me the most is this.....

When Jeff was being interviewed by the chaplain board, he was asked about our relationship.  They basically wanted to know if he trusted me, did he think I would ever have an affair if he were to deploy.  He told them that he trusted me and that I was totally dedicated to our family and supportive of what God had planned for him.

That is what my purpose as his wife is: to be totally dedicated to our family, our marriage and to support him in whatever God calls him to do.

Life is hard. Marriage is a lot of work.  God never promises us that either will be easy.  He promises to be there with us.  When I made my marriage vows, I made them for life.

We have a choice in how we behave while our husbands are away. We have a choice in how we behave when life gets tough. 

Whether we are military wives or civilian wives, the most important thing that we can do is allow God to lead us.  He will guide us. He will show us how to put our families first.

What about you?

What is one challenge experienced in military marriages that you have been able to work through or overcome?

Join us this week at Wife to Wife Wednesday over at Wives of Faith.  

Wife to Wife Wednesday (on Friday)

This week, Wives of Faith wants to know

What made you fall in love with your husband?

I can't say there is one thing that I can pick out, so I'd like to share our love story.

Jeff and I met as teenagers.  We flirted. We called each other. We shared our first kiss. I was 13 and he was 15.

As our relationship grew and we experienced the teenage pains of young love, we always had a connection. If we broke up, we were quickly back together.  We went to four proms together. We saw the other get a driver's license (he taught me to drive), supported each other through graduation and college, and finally wed after being together for 8 years.

During our dating, we had struggles. What teenage couple doesn't? We were always able to "fix" whatever was broken.  We grew and matured together. We supported, loved, and encouraged each other. We had each other when we felt like we had nothing else.  When family told us we wouldn't last, we knew we would prove them wrong.  Looking back, we see where our lives could have gone if we hadn't had each other.

Our journey through life has definitely been that.....a journey. We are nowhere we thought we would be. We turned our lives over to Jesus early in our marriage and have been blessed beyond measure since then.

Our lives definitely are proof of the power of God, and how He takes the lowly and weak and does a wonderful work in them. Sparing you the details (and embarrassment on our part), we were no angels. You could have considered us as being a little wild.  He has turned us into a military family, a family who serves Christ and others.

Jeff and I are not perfect. We don't have a perfect relationship, but we do have God in our relationship.

We laugh as a family.
We cry as a family.
We worship as a family.
We pray as a family.

We are a family.

I love watching Jeff with the boys.  He loves his children so much. He wants them to be strong Christian men.  He spends time with them. He encourages them. 

I am blessed to be married to this man. He isn't afraid of a little hard work. He works his civilian job to provide for our family. He is unpaid as our church's associate pastor, and he serves God and country as a Chaplain in the Army Reserves.  He sacrifices to make this world, our home a better place.  Jeff knows how a simple touch, a soft kiss, the right words can lift me up.  He can surprise me on a daily basis or with a treat from across the globe.  We enjoy the simple things in life together: a trip to Sonic just to get out of the house, ice cream and the park, playing in the yard, or cuddling and watching our favorite shows.  The man is full of love. I thank God every day for him.

What about you? Is there something that made you fall in love with your husband? Do you have special love story you would like to share?  All though it is Friday, you can still join in Wife to Wife Wednesdays at Wives of Faith.  We would love to have you.  You can also leave a comment here.

This day, I marry my best friend

Twelve years ago today, I married my best friend.

 We stood before our family and friends, his best guys and my best girls.  We stood before God, and we made a committment....

For better or for worse.

For richer or for poorer.

In sickness and in health.

Til death do us part.

 We've been there.

We've done that.

We've dealt with possible heart issues.

We've dealt with an unplanned mammogram.

We've dealt with a child in NICU.

We deal with financial strains.

We deal with daily life strains.

We deal with whatever uncertainty the Army brings.

Our promise to each other didn't end at the alter.

It didn't end when we cut the cake.

It didn't end leaving the church in the honeymoon getaway car.



Our promise is built on the Word of God.  With whatever life brings, we will depend on our Father to see us through. The good times and the bad. As long as we both shall live. Amen.

May our marriage bring glory to our Heavenly Father.

Happy Anniversary, Jeffrey. I love always and forever and ever. Amen.

I am looking forward to many more wonderful years of marriage! Can't wait to see what they will bring!

Summer Vacation Begins for a Proud Wife

Summer vacation has finally started for me. If you call it a vacation.

Baseball tournaments are starting tonight. Soccer camp begins Monday. Relay for Life is next Friday. The baseball championship is next Saturday. VBS starts on the 22nd. I'm teaching the big kids at church on Wednesday nights. We are chaperoning the youth trip to Six Flags KY Kingdom in a couple of weeks. Then there is fishing at Mr. Bailey's and the Club Calvary trip to the Nashville Zoo and Faith and Family Night at the HotRods game. Then it will be back to the classroom to prepare for August 5, the first day of school. Somewhere in there, we will try to get away for some family time!

With four days of PD out of the way, I am finding myself in a messy house with a 3 year old who is finally interested in using the potty. The laundry, catch all counter, and toy covered floors are calling my name, but I am finding myself here at the computer while Carson is watching Clifford and having a snack.

Just to let you know, the prayer requests that I've posted on this blog have been answered. Tami, Melissa, and Joe Mark are doing well. Jeffrey is still working toward the chaplain thing, and God is making himself evident in so many ways.

Two big days are approaching that are important to me. Jeffrey's birthday on Tuesday and Father's Day.


My husband.

The father of our children.

My best friend.

Let me tell you about him.

Jeffrey and I met over 18 years ago (Man! That makes us sound old!). My mom and I were out walking and stopped by my aunt's house where Jeffrey was hanging out with my cousin. He thought I was cute and I thought he was cute. A year later, we started "going together."

We dated throughout high school with the ups and downs of any teenage couple. We dated during college. In 1998, while on vacation with his family, Jeffrey proposed to me on the beach. In 1999, we were married. This year will be our 10 year anniversary.

I think our lives are an example of how God can work in you IF you allow him. When we started "going together" on April 15, 1991, we had no idea of what type of journey we would encounter. I think you could say that when we got married, we knew what we were getting in to. We've seen the good side of each other and the ugly side of each other. We've lived out some pretty good love songs I guess you could say.

But you know what? I know that I am blessed. I know that God put the two of us together for a reason.

I know some women who never say anything good about their husbands. When you are with them, it is only a matter of time before you find out how they really feel about their husbands. I cringe at those moments.

My husband is not perfect (sorry, Honey), but he his perfect for me. We are opposites, and not to sound like a scene from Jerry Maguire, but we complete each other. I'm grounded where he is impulsive. I'm not shopper savvy where he researches before making a purchase (that explains why he was up late last night looking at hotels and computers. I would have already made reservations on my new destop!). He is outgoing and very personable where I'm more comfortable around people I've know since birth.

I'm blessed because he loves me and our boys AND he is not afraid to show it. He does things that show us his love for us.

He is a man of his word, a man of integrity. He is not afraid of a little hard work.

He makes me proud to say I am his wife. Wednesday evening was a prime example.

A couple of weeks ago, our pastor had asked him to bring the Wednesday night message because he was going on vacation. This would be his 3rd time to do this. As he spoke to the congregation, I sat back in the back (behind Jack so I could hide and not make Jeffrey nervous) holding back tears of pride. The words he spoke were truly from God. He spoke to me. I could relate with what he was saying. I could tell that he was in his element.

I look at where we started. I look at where we've been. I look at where we are. I look at where we are headed. I'm thankful that God put us together. I'm thankful for the ups and downs we've been through. I'm confident that God has begun a good work in us and will finish it...one day. I'm looking forward to continuing our journey together with God leading us. I'm anxious to see where He will lead. Wherever and whatever God brings before us, I'm blessed to have this man, my husband, right there with me.

Jeffrey, I am thankful I caught your eye 19 years ago. I'm thankful you called me on April 15, 1991. I'm thankful for the sunset on the beach that summer. I'm thankful for that moment we said, "I do," in front of our family, friends, and Heavenly Father on October 2, 1999. I'm thankful you followed me down that same aisle on June 20, 2004 when you received Jesus as your Savior. I am thankful that we were baptized together on July 11, 2004. I am thankful for the moment I got to tell you I was pregnant with our first child. I'm thankful you stood by me through 12 hours of labor with him. I'm thankful for the moment we found out about Carson and the moment we held him after he was born before he was taken out to be put in the oxygen tent. I'm thankful for your service to our church, for you allowing God to use you. Honey, I am thankful for you. My list could go on and on. Just know that I love you and I am so blessed to be your wife.