Wife to Wife Wednesday (on Friday)

This week, Wives of Faith wants to know

What made you fall in love with your husband?

I can't say there is one thing that I can pick out, so I'd like to share our love story.

Jeff and I met as teenagers.  We flirted. We called each other. We shared our first kiss. I was 13 and he was 15.

As our relationship grew and we experienced the teenage pains of young love, we always had a connection. If we broke up, we were quickly back together.  We went to four proms together. We saw the other get a driver's license (he taught me to drive), supported each other through graduation and college, and finally wed after being together for 8 years.

During our dating, we had struggles. What teenage couple doesn't? We were always able to "fix" whatever was broken.  We grew and matured together. We supported, loved, and encouraged each other. We had each other when we felt like we had nothing else.  When family told us we wouldn't last, we knew we would prove them wrong.  Looking back, we see where our lives could have gone if we hadn't had each other.

Our journey through life has definitely been that.....a journey. We are nowhere we thought we would be. We turned our lives over to Jesus early in our marriage and have been blessed beyond measure since then.

Our lives definitely are proof of the power of God, and how He takes the lowly and weak and does a wonderful work in them. Sparing you the details (and embarrassment on our part), we were no angels. You could have considered us as being a little wild.  He has turned us into a military family, a family who serves Christ and others.

Jeff and I are not perfect. We don't have a perfect relationship, but we do have God in our relationship.

We laugh as a family.
We cry as a family.
We worship as a family.
We pray as a family.

We are a family.

I love watching Jeff with the boys.  He loves his children so much. He wants them to be strong Christian men.  He spends time with them. He encourages them. 

I am blessed to be married to this man. He isn't afraid of a little hard work. He works his civilian job to provide for our family. He is unpaid as our church's associate pastor, and he serves God and country as a Chaplain in the Army Reserves.  He sacrifices to make this world, our home a better place.  Jeff knows how a simple touch, a soft kiss, the right words can lift me up.  He can surprise me on a daily basis or with a treat from across the globe.  We enjoy the simple things in life together: a trip to Sonic just to get out of the house, ice cream and the park, playing in the yard, or cuddling and watching our favorite shows.  The man is full of love. I thank God every day for him.

What about you? Is there something that made you fall in love with your husband? Do you have special love story you would like to share?  All though it is Friday, you can still join in Wife to Wife Wednesdays at Wives of Faith.  We would love to have you.  You can also leave a comment here.

Praying for our Husbands

Recently, Hilarie and I decided to read The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.

Upon finishing the book, there are some things that I have discovered.

I don't pray for my husband nearly enough.  I do pray for him. In fact, I pray for him daily.  However, the quality of my prayers is weak I have found. I usually pray for current needs of my husband. I need to pray for his future as well.

There are so many specific aspects of Jeff's life that I need to pray about.  My prayers are usually broad and general. That is so sad.  I love him more than that.

I realize that as I pray for Jeff, God will work in me as well.  He will make me the wife I am supposed to be while I am praying for Him to make Jeff the man he is supposed to be. 

As I strengthen my own walk with the Lord, I will work on my prayer life. I will pray for the specific needs (immediate and future) of my husband.  I will hand Jeff over to God, to mold him and shape him in His image.

I recieved a copy of this book from Jeff after he attended CAST last year in Baltimore.

Husband Bashing

I got my daily email yesterday from iMom and the topic was "Husband Bashing." Here is what the email said:
"Often, when a group of women get together, somebody will share a personal concern or frustration related to her marriage. When this happens, do you offer encouragement to strengthen your friend's marriage, or do you join right in the husband-bashing round table?
One of our husband's most basic needs is having our respect. Being openly critical of your guy in front of others (including your children) doesn't just reveal his shortcomings - it reveals your lack of respect for him. If you just need to vent, share with one trusted friend and seek advice or encouragement. Airing out your marital woes for the masses rarely yields good outcomes, and may just feed the fire of discontent."

This email really struck a chord with me. No, I didn't feel ashamed or angry or guilty, but I felt relieved to have my feelings on this topic confirmed.

I am by far NOT the perfect wife, and my husband is not the perfect husband, but we are perfect for each other. We met in our teens and dated throughout high school and college. We dated for 7 years and engaged for over 1 year before we got married. Needless to say, we both new what we were getting into when we got married. We were aware of the others imperfections and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together anyway.

So, how do I handle my frustrations with my husband? Well, husband bashing is not it. Mostly, I pray about it. I've got to decide if the imperfection is worth fighting over. Usually it isn't. If my feelings are hurt, I let my husband know. I have to say that whatever disagreements we have usually resolve themselves. We've learned how to let things go and laugh about our quirks and imperfections.


Sure it is good to have another woman that you can go to about some things, but it probably wouldn't be a good habit to get into, going to her every time you were annoyed or hurt. After all, she can't fix it. Only you, your husband, and God can.

The one thing that strikes me the most about that email is this: One of our husband's most basic needs is having our respect. Being openly critical of your guy in front of others (including your children) doesn't just reveal his shortcomings - it reveals your lack of respect for him.

In Ephesians 5:33, God has given us orders: "Let the wife see that she respects her husband."

Can't really get any clearer than that.

I know some women who constantly bad mouth their husbands. They really don't have any boundaries and don't care who can hear. Not only does it show a lack of respect for their husbands, but it shows their true character as well.

As for our children, I would never degrade their daddy in front of them. I'd like to think we've never even had an argument in front of them. I don't recall any. I want my boys to know that I love and respect their daddy, that he is a wonderful man and my heart belongs to him.

God has given both the husband and wife instructions, wives are to respect their husbands and husbands are to love their wives. If God tells us we have to do that, it means that it is something that we will have some struggles with. Whatever those struggles entail, we are to take them to Our Father in prayer and submission. It takes 3 to make a marriage work: the husband, the wife, and God.

A while back, my husband bought me the Love Dare movie and book. I absolutely love them, but I'll admit, I haven't finished my own Love Dare journey. As a wife who wants a strong, healthy marriage, I was eager to get started. I was glad to see there were somethings I was doing right already and some things I needed to work on. I do encourage you to try it if you want to strengthen your marriage. It is totally not one sided as some may think.

Lord, I thank you for my husband, for his faithfulness to this family and to you. I pray God that I will always show him respect in private, in front of my friends, and in front of our children. Lord, I pray that you would bless my husband and I thank you for blessing me by allowing me to be his wife. Amen.