Send, Submit, Publish, Print

When I first started writing, I had no idea who my audience would be.  I only new one other blogger personally. Kim and I were college friends, and I learned about blogging through her.  From then on, I searched out and read other blogs for two reasons:

1. To read
2. To be read

My thinking was a that if I visited other blogs and left comments, that maybe those people would visit my blog and share it others.

As time passed, I came across Wives of Faith, an online community for military spouses.  As a new military spouse, I fell in love with WoF and made some fabulous online friends.  I've written a couple of blog posts that have been published on the website.  You can read them HERE.  It was exciting to write something that could possibly be published somewhere other than my blog.  However, it was nerve wrecking waiting to hear whether or not my blog post was good enough.  I felt like it it wasn't, then I wasn't a good writer.  I've overcome that to a point and realize that my topic of choice may not be what they were looking for at that time.

Eventually, I joined a Bible study group through WoF.  Not to study the Bible, but to write a Bible study.  I felt this was an amazing opportunity.  My topic was close to my heart because it related to the deployment my family was experiencing.  Unfortunately, it took longer than I anticipated to write the study.  I was new at this type of writing, my husband was home from deployment, and I became pregnant and had a miscarriage.  I finally got my study completed and turned in.  However, I don't know what's happened with it.  I never heard back from anyone in the group. I didn't get feedback on it.  Needless to say, I was quite disappointed.  I'm still hoping that it's in the archives somewhere and will make it online or in print sometime.  As a military spouse, I realize that things happen, priorities change, and sometimes things just don't work out the way we planned.

Later, I was fortunate enough to complete the Olive Drab Pom Poms Bible study with Kori Yates.  Shortly after that, Kori launched a new online community called Planting Roots.  I was also given the opportunity to submit blog post for this blog as well.  Feel free to read them HERE.  One of my favorite submissions was chosen to publish.  Because Planting Roots is also a Christian military community, I was really nervous about this piece. It related more to love and marriage than military topics.  However, I was pleasantly pleased with how it turned out because it connected my love of love songs with the love of Christ.  You can read Living a Love Song HERE.

These are the only two places I have submitted work to.  I became a bit giddy when I saw that my favorite Christian radio station had an online blog.  My brain got to work thinking of possibilities, but I have yet to submit anything.

My wish is to have the time (unlimited time) to really dive into writing.  To put my heart and God's heart together and write.  Although I'd love to publish a book, I'm content with this little space.  It's working for me right now.  I do have a desire for more though, and maybe I will recognize the time for more, but not force that time to come sooner.  I am looking for opportunities to write; it's just difficult working full time and raising little ones.  I tell my husband all the time to just get rich so I can write.  He says I need to write a book and then get rich, that way we can both do the other things we desire.

Whatever happens, I've discovered that writing is a part of me. I will write whether I'm sending, submitting, publishing, printing, or holding on to my words.  I'm grateful for the opportunities that online communities provide for women like me.

Book Review: How Can I Possibly Forgive?

I have had the opportunity to join Sara Horn's launch team for her new book How Can I Possibly Forgive? Rescuing Your Heart from Resentment and Regret.  I was excited about this opportunity because I have read other books written by Sara such as My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife and GodStrong. In those books, I appreciated Sara's use of humor and honesty in her writing.  I felt a connection with her through her personal stories. Therefore, I looked forward to reading her newest book which is available on October 1.

After reading How Can I Possibly Forgive?, I have to say that Sara did not disappointment me.  She used wit and honesty to tell her personal experience with forgiveness.  In her book, Sara did not sugar coat things that she isn't so proud of.  Instead, she told what she did that she wasn't proud of and what a better choice in offering forgiveness should have been.

Throughout the book, Sara Horn also connected her life's experiences with the Bible.  She gave examples from Joseph and Naomi to Jonah. In each example, we can see a correlation to that experience with things that have happened in our own lives. Sara always has a way of showing her readers they are not alone in valleys of life.  This book, like her others, offers hope and shows how we can make better choices to become the people God wants us to be.

One of the things I like about this book is the mini sections I like to call "Five Ways." In each section, Sara offers some suggestions for working through forgiveness.  Such topics include forgiving yourself, letting go of your anger with God, and asking for forgiveness.  Another thing I like about the book is the discussion questions found in the back. These could be used for small groups or for independent reflection and journaling.

We have all had to deal with the issue of forgiveness in our lives and will continue to do so.  This book is a great tool in helping us deal with the hurts that can cause resentment and regret.  I have already begun to talk to others about things I have read in this book to help them with the healing process that comes through forgiveness. This book is also a good tool for helping us have a stronger relationship with Christ and live more like Him, the ultimate example of offering forgiveness.

I highly recommend this book for those looking to learn more about healing through forgiveness.  Sara Horn's books are always insightful and thought provoking.


*****

I received a free copy of this book as part of Sara Horn's launch team for the purpose of an honest review.  I was not required to write a positive review, only to give my honest opinion of the book.

For more information about Sara Horn and her books, visit www.sarahorn.com.

Missing this space

Seriously, I am.

I am missing being here....writing....sharing....hopefully making a difference.

Life has a way of happening.

Mine happens a lot!

We are smack dab in the middle of soccer.

We are smack dab in the middle of the first quarter of school.

We are living life and loving it.

So, could you forgive me for neglecting this space for the last few weeks?

Forgiveness.....


Do you consider that the "F" word?  Why is it such a difficult word?

I am reading a book right now....

Are you ready????

Sara Horn's new book How Can I Possibly Forgive?

Haven't heard of it?  That's OK, It will be released on October 1.  And can I just say.....It is awesome. I am blessed to be a part of Sara's Launch Team for this amazing book! I can't wait to tell you more about it after I actually finish reading it.

I love Sara's writing.  She's honest, funny, and well, honest.  I appreciate that so much.  When I read her books, it's like having a conversation with a best friend.

And a book on forgiveness.....

Well, isn't that what so many of us need?

For some people, forgiveness is easy.  For others, well, not so much.

Looking at my personal experience with forgiveness, I know of instances when it has been easy to forgive and instances when it hasn't been so easy.  Sometimes it is a pride thing. Sometimes we feel that the act was too unforgivable.  Whatever the reason, it isn't good enough.

I have forgiven family.
I have forgiven friends.
I have forgiven strangers.

Most importantly, I have been forgiven.

When I decided to live my life for Christ, I asked God for forgiveness.  You know that Amazing Grace song?  Well, I'm that wretch it is about.  God saved me and forgave me through amazing grace.  How can I, therefore, deny forgiveness to someone???

Resentment is too hard on the soul.  It isn't worth it.

No, I know life isn't fair. I know we want people to get what they deserve. I see a lot of things on Facebook about Karma.  But payback and heartache are not the answer.  God is our ultimate judge. Let Him deal with it.

I can choose to let go, to forgive the hurt, to move on, and to be free from the burden of a hardened heart, or I can choose to harbor the hurt, to let pride stand in the way, to miss out on the amazing joy that comes from letting go and letting God.

Forgiveness is a God thing.

Unforgiveness is a Satan thing.

Why would we ever let Satan have a stronghold on us like that?

Oh, and I know what you are saying, "But Natasha, you don't know!  You don't have any idea what happened. You don't know my story!"

But I don't have to know your story. I have my own.  And regardless of our stories, I have seen first hand what unforgiveness does to people, to family, to friends.

I know people that have missed out on years of the lives of people they love, all because they chose not to forgive.  They thought it was a punishment to that one person, but unforgiveness affects many people.

Look at it this way.....

I get mad at my brother (Hi, Doug! I'm seriously not mad at you.) because he was careless with our parents' estate.  Now, I don't get my share of the inheritance.  There goes that vacation I wanted. There goes my sons' college funds. There goes.....our relationship. I avoid him. I don't go to family functions because he is going to be there.  I miss out on his children (those innocent bystanders).  I miss out on other family members (more innocent bystanders) because I simply cannot show up somewhere my brother might be.  This goes on for years. A ripple effect of missed opportunities, missed relationships, missed memories.  All because I chose to hold a grudge. I was slighted. I haven't mentioned the fact that I swell up each time his name is mentioned.  The resentment continues when I see those vacation commercials on TV or my kids start talking about college.  Dang it, brother!  It's all your fault.

But forgiving can allow me to move forward. It can help me communicate.  It can help me be aware of people and their intentions. Had I forgiven my brother in this hypothetical example, I could have extended grace to him.  He could have been embarrassed about what had happened and needed my help.  Had I forgiven him, I wouldn't have missed out on sharing life with him and his family.

I think sometimes we feel like if we forgive we are saying to the other person, "It's OK."

I've heard kids say this in the classroom, and it bothers me.  Calling another student "stupid" is not OK.  I realize a child says this because it seems to be the right thing to say.  But we need to have the appropriate response.  We can say, "I forgive you." We can say, "Thank you for the apology." I don't think we should say, "Oh, its OK."

Some people may not realize they have hurt us.  We have the choice to let them know that we were hurt and have forgiven them, or we can just forgive and move on without mentioning it.  I think somethings we definitely need to talk about, but others....just move on.  

Just because I choose to forgive, doesn't make me naive.  I believe that forgiving and moving on doesn't mean that I am going to allow that behavior to happen again.  I may forgive someone for a wrongdoing, but at the same time realize that we do not have a healthy relationship.  I may forgive you for stabbing me in the back, but I am choosing not to keep my relationship with you because I know your heart has not changed and you will probably do it again.  I will continue to pray for you so that you can be the person God intends you to be.

And in all of this....prayer is the key.  Go to God in prayer. Ask him to help you forgive....forgive others....forgive yourself.....seek forgiveness.  Don't deny forgiveness, God didn't deny it when it came to us.

This week, I challenge you to offer grace, the grace found in forgiveness. Can you say this with me....."I forgive you."  Those are life altering words. Try it and see what happens.




Are you interested in Sara's new book?  Find out more information at her webpage.  You can even pre-order an autographed copy.

www.sarahorn.com

And The Winner Is....

Congratulations to Sara P. She is the winner of Sara Horn's new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.  Here is Sara's comment that helped her win.

I am new to the "Submissive wife" thing. Anthony and I have been married for almost 10 years and are just now starting to figure it out. For us, it is a mutual respect for God and each other. I want to be the wife that deserves respect, love and trust and he wants to be the husband that deserves the same. To do this, you must put God first. Everything else falls into place for us. I have also just come to understand that Anthony, my husband, will be held accountable to God for my actions as well as our children's reactions. This astonished me. I never looked at it like that before. As soon as I learned of these verses in the Bible, it made me look at my choices differently. I don't want to do anything to cause him to stumble. I want to aid him in being our family leader. That is submission to me. It's still a very large work in progress for us though, lol.

One of the things that I appreciate the most is Sara's statement that she doesn't want to do anything to cause her husband to stumble.  I think that is something that all wives should consider. Are we helping our husbands or causing them to stumble.

Sara P., congrats on your book. I can't wait to hear what you think of it after reading it. I am glad you are excited about it.  Sara Horn, thanks so much for allowing women the opportunity to get their hands on your book with the giveaways.

If you didn't win, you can follow Sara Horn on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sarahornwrites. She will be having more giveaways throughout the month.

Happy Release Day!

Today is the official release day for Sara' Horn's new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.

I am really excited for Sara and appreciate her allowing me to be a part of her My Wife Life Team to promote the book.  I was able to read and review the book. You can read my review HERE.

Some people hear the word SUBMISSION and start freaking out.  But really, I think married couples need to look deeper in to this submission thing.  It isn't about man being the controlling lord over his wife.  It is about relationship, a relationship that is in God's plan for marriage.  And isn't that what we all stood in front of our friends and family and vowed? That our marriage would reflect God's plan?

Just the other day, I was cleaning out my dresser, and I came across our wedding vows.

We gathered in the sight of God.

We promised to face the future together, accepting whatever may lie ahead.

We believed that God helped us find each other.

Scripture was quoted: Genesis 2: 18, 21-24

The Lord said it was not good for man to be alone.

He made a helper comparable to him.

A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.

They shall become one flesh.

We both promised before God and witnesses to 

love, honor, and cherish each other

forsake others

perform all the duties owed to the other

until parted by death.

To have and to hold

from this day forward

for better or for worse

for richer or for poorer

in sickness and in health

to love and to cherish

until parted in death

according to the law of God

The bands of gold we exchanged are reminders of

purity

honesty

and 

truthfulness 

that characterize the love we pledged to each other

The candles we lit symbolized that we were

united as one

We were challenged by out pastor to be a shining light

in our families

our church

our community

our world

When I read over those words, regardless of what I feel about the word submission, I know that if I truly believe the words that we recited that special day 14 years ago, then I will be the wife I am supposed to be. If my husband believes those words, he will be the husband he is supposed to be.

It isn't about control.  It isn't about trying to "one up" the other other.  It is about living out our vows and the promises we made in front of God.  Maybe that is what submission is.  We submit to God to be who He wants us to be.

What is your take on submission in marriage?  Negative? Positive?  Would you like to read Sara's book to find out about her experience?

I am actually giving away a copy of Sara's book.  Just visit the giveaway a couple of posts down or click HERE.

Q&A with Sara Horn and a Giveaway!

As most of you know, I was selected to be a part of author Sara Horn's My Wife Life Team to help promote her new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife. I have read this book and it is awesome. Actually, I've read them all and they are all amazing!

Recently, I was able to ask Sara a few questions about her experiment in biblical submission in marriage.

Q1. What would a submissive wife look like during a deployment?

Sara: My husband Cliff has been a Seabee in the Navy Reserves for 17 years now, and he is currently on his third deployment in the last six years. We have about eight months to go before he returns. We walked through this year-long experiment looking at biblical submission that I write about in the book, right after he returned from his second deployment, so I am learning what biblical submission looks like in a deployment first hand right now.

 For me, I think the biggest difference is attitude. I know it is easy sometimes to approach deployment as a military spouse with this determined, hunkered down, "it's all on me" kind of perspective, but I'm not sure that's always the best or most healthiest way to handle things. It's easier for resentment to grow and it's easier to feel less respect for your husband when you do that. You convince yourself you don't need him, because you think that will get you through the next several months apart, but in the end, that attitude can really hurt you and your marriage in the long run. Because deployments don't last, and eventually they do come home, and how you handle their absence during deployment is just as important if not more so than how you handle it when they return. 

Even during deployment, I still think of us as two, and even though he's far away right now, he's still part of our family, and he still leads our family. Now, can I go to him every day with decisions? No. But I'm not going to make decisions that I know he specifically wouldn't like or wouldn't feel comfortable with. I'm going to keep him in mind when I'm disciplining our son, and when I talk to him, I'm going to be sure to keep him in the loop on important things with the family. Trust and respect and communication are really vital.

Q2. What were some notable changes you saw in your son as a result of the submissive wife experiment?

Sara: I'm not sure if I saw any specific changes in Caleb as we were going through this. For one thing, we were in a house full of people for about half of the time and I'm not sure he would have noticed much to begin with. From his perspective (and I had to ask him just now), he has always seen his parents in a close, loving marriage. He's seen us kissing and holding hands, and he's seen us arguing and in heated discussions about things. But he's always seen those arguments resolved with apologies and hugs. He knows how much I love and respect his dad, because I tell him often, and he sees the respect and love his dad shows me. Just in the last few months before he left, I did notice Cliff very intentionally leading our son. He'd make sure he was doing his chores, and that Caleb was listening when I asked him to do something, and he was very deliberate in letting Caleb know the importance of helping me with things around the house. He would correct him when he wasn't doing what he was supposed to. I definitely saw changes in Cliff during our experience, really taking initiative to lead our family, and so in that way, I would say Caleb has been impacted. He's got a dad who is teaching him how to lead in a godly way as a man.

Q3. Has your submission experiment rubbed off on any friends or those who thought you were crazy?

Sara: That's a good question! I'm not sure, because if there is one thing I'm a firm believer in, making a decision to pursue biblical submission, or make changes in your marriage, can really only happen when you're ready for a change or for a heart change. It's gotta start with your own heart and your own awareness of a need to change some things, so I've been very careful, even in my small group at church, not to pressure or do anything that  would make someone feel guilty or something for not being at a point where they want to do this. There is one person in my life who seems to have softened in the last year towards her marriage and her family, though I have no idea if it has anything to do with what Cliff and I walked through and learned. I hope that as friends get hold of the book, that just like other readers I've heard from, I hope my friends will also be encouraged. 

Q4. How do you handle those moments when you were being "the submissive wife" and allowing your husband to lead when you didn't agree with him? (Those I told you so moments)

Sara: We had one of those just the other day when I was talking to my husband on the phone. :) I've started calling those moments Edit moments. Meaning you have to be willing to edit yourself and just because you feel like saying something doesn't mean you should. In our case, my husband was struggling with something that ultimately, he had made the decision on and it was a decision that at the time I had questioned him about but had respected and supported what he'd decided. At that moment on the phone, he was really struggling with some things he hadn't expected as part of that decision. It was tempting for me to say "I told you so, if you'd only listened to me" but as I was listening to him, I knew that wouldn't have helped him at all. So I listened. I encouraged where I could. I let him know I believed everything was going to be ok and that I believed in him. And I still trust that the decision my husband made, God is still going to honor and there will be blessings despite the challenges. 

I do want to make a point here, that biblical submission is NOT the equivalent of us as wives putting duck tape on our mouths and we aren't allowed to ever express an opinion or speak up when a decision is to be made. God did not make us to be doormats. NOT AT ALL. As wives, we should offer our opinions to our husbands, we should speak up when we're concerned the wrong decision is being made. But there's a way to do it that doesn't make our husbands feel small and there's a way to do it that helps our husbands consider our additional counsel, so to speak, as opposed to us saying "THIS is how it should be done." A loving tone and a graceful giving spirit goes a long way.

How would you like to have a copy of Sara's new book?  

Well, she would love for you to have a copy, so 

Sara is giving a copy to one of my lucky readers.  

You can have multiple entries by:

1. Leave a comment here describing what submission in marriage looks like to you.  

2. Visit Sara's store at sarahorn.com, come back here, and leave a comment telling us what your favorite item is.

3. Share this post via Facebook and leave a comment that you did.

4. Share this post via email and leave a comment that you did.

5. Leave a comment telling us who shared this post with you via Facebook or email.

I will randomly select a winner on Saturday, August 3. 

Good luck!

You can find Sara on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sarahornwrites

and

follow her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/sarahorn.

Book Review: My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife

Submissive is probably not a word that most women would want to have describe them; after all, we come from the generation of Girls Can Do Anything Boys Can Do Only Better.  We've been told to dream big, become independent, and successful. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with having goals and dreams, but maybe we need to take a long look at what being submissive really means when it comes to marriage.

That's exactly what author Sara Horn did.

After her Proverbs 31 experiment, Sara felt that God was leading her on another journey, what it means to be a submissive wife. Many people, including her husband, questioned why she would want to do this new experiment.  For Sara, it was finding out what God's will was for her as a wife and mom.  Her journey is documented in her book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.

Sara writes honestly about her journey through the submission experiment.  She discusses her highs and lows as she struggles to change her thinking, behavior, and attitude. I was able to relate to many of the things that Sara wrote about: the feeling/need to do it all, micromanaging a marriage whether you mean to or not, wanting more out of life/following your dreams, but not wanting that to interfere with your family responsibilities, and letting go so your husband can lead.  

Like most women, Sara didn't feel the call to be a domestic goddess, although the experiment did help her look at the responsibilities of marriage and family a bit differently.  Sometimes we can become resentful in having to cook and clean, in having to take care of children, and fulfilling other duties when it seems no one notices or helps. But in trying to live according to biblical submission, a new perspective is formed.

By the end of the book, I no longer viewed submission as a bad thing. Sara's story showed me that biblical submission can strengthen a marriage, yet, that submission and the process is different for each marriage. 

I loved reading this book. I laughed. I cried. I felt convicted. Most of all, I feel motivated to work on being more submissive in my own marriage. I highly recommend this book to any woman who has a desire to become the wife that God has planned for her.

I received a free copy of this book from Sara Horn and Harvest House Publishers as part of The My Wife Team. I was asked to read and post an honest review of this book. 

Book Review: My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife

Like many women who read about The Virtuous Wife from Proverbs 31:10-31, Sara Horn felt intimidated and didn't like her. At the same time, though, she felt that there could be something there. Something that she needed to experiment with.  So, that set wife, mom, author Sara Horn on an experiment, a journey to study the Proverbs 31 wife and try to become more like her. She wrote about this experiment in her book My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife.

Throughout the journey, Sara saw success and failures.  She is a driven woman who has a strong desire to minister and work.  She has a husband who likes to help out.  During this experiment, the family was in a difficult season, unemployment for her husband and her quest to become domesticated. 

Sara found out that the most important part of the process would be her relationship with God.  If she feared him and strengthened her relationship with God, then her other relationships would fall into place.  She would be the woman God had planned for her.

I really enjoyed this book. Sara writes with honesty and humor.  It is easy to relate with her experience. 

I received a free copy of this book from Sara Horn and Harvest House Publishers as part of the My Wife Life Team.  I was not required to write a review.

My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife

I am so excited to be part of Sara Horn's My Wife Life Team that is promoting her new book My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife.

Sara has written some amazing books.  I have read God Strong and Tour of Duty (twice).  I hate to admit that I haven't read My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife, but I am looking forward to reading it soon.

Toward the end of July/first of August, I will be posting a review of Sara's new book.  There will be lots of fun things surrounding the book as well.  If you are excited about this new book, you can go ahead a pre-order an autographed copy at Sara's store.

Some Family Time

If you have a Soldier who will be returning home from deployment and would like a banner to display like ours, I have to recommend Build A Sign.  Check out their website.  Our banner was FREE. I only had to pay for the grommets and shipping. I upgraded the shipping to make sure I had the banner the first of May, and it arrived much sooner than expected.  We were very pleased with our final product.

Since Jeff has returned from Afghanistan, we have been having a lot of family time.  He was able to catch Colin's last few ball games.  We were also able to attend a Hot Rods game for their Military Appreciation Night.

It was so great to attend church again as a family.

Jeff and I had a much needed weekend getaway to The Smoky Mountains.

We had a week long family vacation to Panama City Beach too.  We celebrated Jeff's birthday and played LOTS of Goofy Golf.

The big boys are preparing for a camp out, and Colin will be attending Space Camp again this summer.  Me?  I am enjoying having my better half home.  I am working with two amazing teams.  I am writing a Bible study curriculum with a group of super women for Wives of Faith.  I will also be working with Sara Horn and more amazing women to promote Sara's new book....

We are also still praying about going active duty.  Still not sure where God wants us right now.  No rush, but don't want any regrets either.

Hope your summer is in full swing and going well.

Book Review: God Strong

Back when Jeff was at CH-BOLC, our youth group provided us with a wonderful gift basket.  They gave Jeff some items that would come in handy during his stay at Ft. Jackson and gave me a copy of Sara Horn's book God Strong: The Military Wife's Spiritual Survival Guide.

I'd like to say that I was able to read the book during our 3 months apart, but with a new baby at home, going back to work from maternity leave, school starting back, and being a soccer mom, that didn't happen.  So now, finally, I have had the time to start over and finish the book.

As I read, there were so many things that stood out to me:

I am not superwoman and no one expects me to be. It is a pressure I put on myself.

I am not alone. There are woman out there just like me. Most importantly, Jesus Christ is beside me each step of the way.

My focus should stay on God. Pity parties don't help. Isolation doesn't help. Blaming others doesn't help.  Each of those things puts the focus on me, not HIM. 

In her book, Sara uses her experience as a military wife to reach the hearts of others.  Being God Strong is what matters. We have to stop being Me Strong.  Our true strength comes from the Lord.  We can only go so far on our own.  This is true not only for military wives, but for all women. 

A couple of things that make this book useful as well are the Strength Builders and Strength Trainers (the scripture and questions) that go along with each chapter. I also appreciated the testimonies of other military spouses (and girlfriends) included in each chapter.

I recommend this book to military wives, or girlfriends, who are going through (or will go through) a deployment or long term military related separation. Sara also offers some online resources. 


**As previously stated, this book was a gift. I wanted to share my thoughts about the book with other military wives through this post.**