Wife to Wife Wednesdays: Change

Never in a million years did I expect to be a military wife. I always knew my husband would have liked to serve our country, but never thought it would lead anywhere. 

As a reserves family, the military hasn’t changed our lives that much.  I have been accustomed to my husband being away due to his civilian job. He has traveled many different places, as close as Atlanta and Chicago and as far away as LA and Japan. 

However, his service in the military has added new dangers to his travels.  I know anything can happen anywhere, but knowing what could happen due to his service is different. 

I’m not real sure that being a military wife has changed me, but I know serving the Lord has.  I know I could not live this life with my dedication to Him.  People say to me, “I don’t know how you do it.” My reply is, “I just do because of God.” 

I know I have had to become more independent.  Being in charge of “guy” things isn’t easy for me. Being a decision maker isn’t easy for me.  I was out of my comfort zone just having to select and purchase a new washing machine on my own.   I know some women have had to make major decisions like purchasing a vehicle  or home, or even something more important things like medical decisions. 

Whether or not we go active duty will definitely have an impact.  If we remain a reserve family, we will remain where we are.  However, if we go active duty, we will have to decide whether or not I would continue to work or stay at home with our children. Would they attend school or would I home school?  There are so many things about active duty that would change me. 

Are you a military wife? How has that changed you?  You can comment here or join in at Wives of Faith.

Wife to Wife Wednesdays (on Sunday): Books

I love to read. LOVE LOVE LOVE to read. I guess it is a good thing I am a reading teacher!  One of my favorite books right now is titled Something to Sing About.  It is a youth novel.  Our school librarian introduced me to the book, and I was hooked. I am currently reading it to my two reading classes.

In this story, Jamie Jo Morgan is having some issues with God.  Because of how her mama has been treated, she has some questions for the Lord like how He can love the mean girls as much as He loves her.  Oh, and bees. Don't get Jamie Jo started on bees. She is scared to death of them because she watched My Girl. However, it is her brother Pate that has a near death experience with bees.  When Jamie Jo's mama is "fired" from the church choir and decides to give church a rest, she prays that God will make everything the way it used to be.  Sometimes, the way it used to be isn't that great, and God's plans are so much better.

Are you interested?  Although this is a children's book, adults should read it as well. Author C.C. Payne (from my home state, oh and the story's setting is my hometown!) does an excellent job in showing how God works through what we might call the end of the world.  She shows how families can be broken and grow back together even stronger as long as they remain faithful to God.

If you read this book, please let me know what you think.  A couple of years ago, I did a book club with it with the kids at church. They loved it.

So what about you? Do you have a favorite book?  You can join in here or over at Wives of Faith.  We'd love to hear from you.

Wife to Wife Wednesday (on Sunday): Friends

friend (noun)

one attached to another by love or esteem

one that is not hostile

one that promotes something

a favored companion


Those were the definitions I found when I looked up friend on Merriam Webster.

I think sometimes we use the word loosely.  We are concerned with having and being surrounded with lots of friends. Isn't that what we wanted in middle and high school?  Truth be told, I am not what I would call "friends" with any of those people from that time in my life.  There are people I still see occasionally and we hug and chat for those few moments in the store.  But as far as being a being attached to some one by love who is favored companion....those people are very few.

I do have one special friend that I love very much.  You may remember her....

 Hilarie

Hilarie and I met not quite 10 years ago.  Colin and Jacob were attending the same daycare, and then we were attending the same church.  God has changed us from the young mamas we started out as.  Since becoming friends, we have also become Christians. We even had the blessing of being pregnant together. Kylie and Carson were born just 5 days apart.  We have grown so much together. God has made us leaders in our church and community.  I enjoy spending time with Hilarie. We've coached soccer together, and I even suckered her into coaching her own team a couple of years ago! We can talk about everything or nothing at all and still enjoy each others company.  I know I can depend on her, and she knows she can depend on me.  These last few months have been crazy busy, and I feel like we haven't really spent that much time together (even though we sit across the aisle from each other in church every week!). However, when we are together, it is just as fun and interesting (if you know our kids) than ever.

I am very blessed and thankful to have Hilarie in my life.  I went for such a longtime without have a best friend, and God placed us together at just the right time. She is someone I can talk to, laugh with, and pray alongside. I pray for her all the time, and I know I am in her prayers as well.  

Hilarie, Thank you for being such a good friend to me. I love you!

.I am a little late participating in Wife to Wife Wednesdays this time with Wives of Faith. But I guess it is better late than never. Right?

Do you have a best friend you would like to share with us?  You can link up with Wives of Faith or comment here.

Wife to Wife Wednesdays: Military Worries

For those of you who know me, you know that I am not a worrier. Not too much anyway.  If I find myself worrying, I try my best to turn it over to God. 

However, with this lifestyle that we live, there are definite things that worry or bother me. 

The thing that comes to me immediately this week is the decision that is to be made by our family:

Do we go active duty?

Ten years ago, or like we say at home BK (before kids) or BC (before Colin), we would have jumped on it.  There probably wouldn't have been too much to hold us back. We were young(er). We had fewer responsibilities.  We really had nothing that tied us down except our jobs.

But now. 

Well, now,

I have 13 years teaching experience. I am almost halfway to my retirement (seriously, that just freaked me out). How will leaving my job, leaving the state affect my retirement?

There are the normal things....family and friends....We live in our hometown. Our neighbors are Jeff' parents. My parents live a mile away. Our roots are here. As a reserve family, we have the blessing and convenience of living near our family and friends, those nearest to our hearts.

Then there is our church.  We love our church so much.  They are the people who shared the love of Christ with us and allowed themselves to be used by God to help mold us into the people we are right now. They have opened their hearts to us, encouraged us, loved us, and have supported us.

But the main thing, the main thing that is keeping us from jumping on this opportunity of a lifetime....well there are 3 actually

Our almost 11 year old (oohhh that hurt saying that!). He has so much going on for him here at home. Academic Team. STLP. Robotics. Family. Friends. Small town sports. Church. Starting middle school in the fall.

Our almost 7 year old. The homebody. He loves being home. He loves school. He is coming out of his shell. He is showing love in so many amazing ways.  He is looking forward to joining the same Robotics team Colin was on. He loves the opportunities Colin has had and wants to do those same things.

Our 3 year old. Buck Wild. He attends a wonderful Christian daycare. He loves his friends. He loves his church. He is becoming his own person. His personality is really showing.

I worry about my boys. 

As their mom, I mess up enough. I make mistakes with them every day.  So I find myself asking, "Should I even attempt to see how badly I can mess them up by uprooting them?" 

YES. I KNOW YOU ACTIVE DUTY MOMS ARE HATING ME RIGHT NOW. 

But hear me out. That is not the lifestyle we are used to. Like I said, BK, we would have jumped on this. We would have raised kids already living the active duty lifestyle.  But come on, we are used to one weekend a month, two weeks (ha!) out of the year, staying put where we are.  For us, it would be a major change.

My main worry is how will deciding to go active duty affect my children. 

Right now, that's where I am out. 

I fully trust God. I know that whatever we are supposed to do, He will guide us to that decision, and HE WILL PROVIDE FOR US. I know that. I believe that. But a mama can't help but worry about her babies. 

So, I would love to hear from you. What are your thoughts? Did you have to make this decision with children involved or were your children "born into it?"  Are you at this point in your military life that you have to make this decision? 

Join me and some other amazing women today and every Wednesday at Wives of Faith for Wife to Wife Wednesdays.

Wife to Wife Wednesday: First Year of Marriage

When Jeff and I got married, I was working as a full time nursery worker in a church.  By full time, I mean twice on Sunday, every Monday, and every Wednesday. Yeah, I was making big bucks!  I was also in the middle of my student teaching.  I think he was still working at a local outsourcing company sorting parts for local manufacturers.

The best.....

We had no home to call our own.

We were newlyweds living with his parents.  Trust me, it wasn't bad at all.  That was the first time we lived with his parents during a transition time.

A couple months after we were married, we got our first place, a duplex just outside the city limits.

During this first year of marriage, I interviewed for several teaching jobs. I had graduated in December and was blessed to interview for two jobs.  However, I didn't get either of those, but did get a position as a title 1 assistant in the school I did my student teaching in.  That summer I was hired at an elementary school in my hometown.

I'd have to say we had a lot of fun our first year of marriage.  We blew money we didn't have traveling to Gatlinburg and Florida, attending concerts, and buying things we did not need.

We were far from being a military family during out first year of marriage. We were far from being the people we are today.  However, I am thankful that God had better plans for us than we did!

Today, of course, is Wednesday. So I am joining my friends at Wives of Faith for their weekly link up called Wife to Wife Wednesdays. Would you like to join us?  You can link up with your own blog post over at Wives of Faith, or you can leave a comment there or here. 

Today's prompt:  What was your first year of marriage like?

Wife to Wife Wednesdays: God Makes All Things New

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

I can honestly say that making the choice to live my life for Jesus was the best decision I ever made. Because of that one decision, God has worked in my life in so many amazing ways.

He has, in fact, made me a new creation.

Before I surrendered to Christ, I never really thought much about my life and the direction it was going.  I like to think I was a good person. No drugs. An occasional drink. No promiscuous sex. My husband is the only man I've ever been with.

Growing up, I basically did what I was supposed to. I dated early (one guy, my husband). I graduated high school with honors and scholarship money. I stayed focused and graduated college with a Bachelor's in Elementary Education in 3 1/2 years.  I was no angel. My parents can tell you that. But I was a good person.  I got my dream job teaching and married my sweetheart. We had our first child. 

I was happy. I was well on my way to my dream: being a wife, a teacher, and a mom to 3 children (my plan was 2 boys and a girl).

But something was missing. 

Jeff and I knew we wanted to raise our children in church. Neither of us were "raised" in church, but we did have a little background.  I knew who Jesus was. I knew you had to believe in him to get to heaven. I cherished every little Gideon's Bible I received and even signed my name on the line in them to show I believed what it said about Jesus. 

In 2004, Jeff and I started attended church after being invited by a coworker.  We were hooked. Shortly after we started attending, we found out that there was going to be a baby dedication. Parents would stand before the church to say they would raise their baby for God.  This was exactly what we wanted to do for Colin. That was our whole purpose in going to church. 

In the coming weeks, I had much difficulty contacting our pastor about participating. Colin was almost 2 years old, not quite the baby we felt they intended the ceremony for, so we weren't sure we would be allowed to participate.  I was finally able to get to church to speak with Dr. Copass about the dedication service, and he agreed that it would be a great idea.  However, he had a question for me. Had I dedicated my life to Jesus?  I immediately began crying. No one, that's right, no one had every asked me about my soul, if I had surrendered to Jesus.  I was instantly overcome with emotion. All I could think was that the preacher must have thought I was crazy, crying like that, dedicating my son to the Lord, not being a Christian myself. 

Needless to say, Dr. Copass knew my answer. We talked and we prayed and that day, I gave my heart to Jesus. 


That day has changed my life.

That day has changed me.

My entire outlook on life is different. My focus is on God. The choices I make are based on what He wants.

I have given up any claim I thought I had over my life. 

Instead of being content in just being me and who I thought I was supposed to be, I have found pure joy in becoming the woman God had planned for me. 

I am involved in my church. I teach Sunday School for adults and children. I teach VBS. I have serve on committees. I lead Bible studies. I serve as nursery coordinator.  I want to do more for the kingdom of God.  I have been blessed to lead children to Christ. I have been blessed to lead an adult to Christ.  I love allowing God to work through me. 

And that is what all of that is.....God working through me. 

I am totally uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate to order a pizza over the phone. I hate to meet new people. I am such a homebody.  But because I said "YES" to God, He is doing some amazing things. I could never do those things on my own.  I break out into hives every time I have to speak in front of grown ups! 

I am supportive of my husband for the the life that God has called him to lead.  After 8 years of marriage and 3 children, it is a bit unnerving to begin serving God and country.  There are so many questions and uncertainty with this thing called military life.  However, we have been able to put our trust in God. 

He had gotten me through difficult times. He has given me peace.  I remember when my grandfather passed away, I felt a sense of peace over come me. I was in the car and upset over getting the news that he was slipping away from us.  I wanted to get to the hospital and see him one last time.  But God was there with me. He let me know that my pa knew that I loved him (that was a fear I had, did he know that I loved him). He let me know that my pa was ok, that He was taking care of him.  I was calm even though I knew in my heart that I would not see him alive when I got to the hospital.  That whole experience was hard. I was his baby girl.  He was my Pa Tootsie.  I had never imagined my life without him. And then suddenly, I had to.

There are so many instances that God gave me exactly what I needed, not what I thought I needed. He has held my hand. He has wrapped His arms around me. He has held me. He has disciplined me.  He has carried me. He has loved me.

God has made me a new creation.  He has changed my attitude, my thinking, my habits, my language, my heart. 

I am NOT perfect. I am still a sinner. I mess up everyday. But I have God's grace and mercy on my side. He forgives me. He loves me.  He wants a relationship with me.

All I have to do is say YES to Him each and everyday.  If I do that, He will continue to mold me, shape me, use me. 

I am excited to see what God has planned for me.

I am so glad I made the choice to live for Him.

What has God done for you? How has he changed your life? 

Join us at Wives of Faith for Wife to Wife Wednesdays.  We would love to hear how God has made a difference in your life. Even if you aren't a military spouse, feel free to leave a comment.

Wife to Wife Wednesdays: Problems and Issues Within Military Marriages

We are a relatively new military family. In fact, we have been married for over 13 years, but have only been in the military for about 4 years.

The time apart has been most difficult for us; however, God has provided for us in so many amazing ways.  His blessings are what have gotten us through rough patches.

Jeff began traveling for his civilian job when Colin was two and a half years old. His first trip - 2 months in Japan.  During this time, Jeff missed Thanksgiving and Colin's Christmas program. Colin also locked himself in the bathroom with the bath running, and our heat went out.  At the end of this time, we had an ice storm,  and Jeff's flight was delayed.

Jeff continued to travel for work after Carson was born. After Carter was born, he attended CH-BOLC for 3 months. During this time, my grandmother passed away. We also had car and electrical trouble.

Jeff has continued to travel for both his chaplaincy position and for his civilian job. During each trip, we have experienced some sort of drama at home.

Looking back, I can see how these times were a blessing.  I can't imagine having to go through a deployment with 3 kids and never having to be by myself before.  It was almost like God was preparing us.

Another thing that has helped us has been technology.  We are blessed to live in the age of email, text messaging, and Skype.  These things have enabled us to keep in touch during times apart.

The main thing that has kept us strong is our faith in God.  Without Him, we couldn't do this thing called military life.

Perhaps one of the things that has touched me the most is this.....

When Jeff was being interviewed by the chaplain board, he was asked about our relationship.  They basically wanted to know if he trusted me, did he think I would ever have an affair if he were to deploy.  He told them that he trusted me and that I was totally dedicated to our family and supportive of what God had planned for him.

That is what my purpose as his wife is: to be totally dedicated to our family, our marriage and to support him in whatever God calls him to do.

Life is hard. Marriage is a lot of work.  God never promises us that either will be easy.  He promises to be there with us.  When I made my marriage vows, I made them for life.

We have a choice in how we behave while our husbands are away. We have a choice in how we behave when life gets tough. 

Whether we are military wives or civilian wives, the most important thing that we can do is allow God to lead us.  He will guide us. He will show us how to put our families first.

What about you?

What is one challenge experienced in military marriages that you have been able to work through or overcome?

Join us this week at Wife to Wife Wednesday over at Wives of Faith.  

Wife to Wife Wednesday (on Friday)

This week, Wives of Faith wants to know

What made you fall in love with your husband?

I can't say there is one thing that I can pick out, so I'd like to share our love story.

Jeff and I met as teenagers.  We flirted. We called each other. We shared our first kiss. I was 13 and he was 15.

As our relationship grew and we experienced the teenage pains of young love, we always had a connection. If we broke up, we were quickly back together.  We went to four proms together. We saw the other get a driver's license (he taught me to drive), supported each other through graduation and college, and finally wed after being together for 8 years.

During our dating, we had struggles. What teenage couple doesn't? We were always able to "fix" whatever was broken.  We grew and matured together. We supported, loved, and encouraged each other. We had each other when we felt like we had nothing else.  When family told us we wouldn't last, we knew we would prove them wrong.  Looking back, we see where our lives could have gone if we hadn't had each other.

Our journey through life has definitely been that.....a journey. We are nowhere we thought we would be. We turned our lives over to Jesus early in our marriage and have been blessed beyond measure since then.

Our lives definitely are proof of the power of God, and how He takes the lowly and weak and does a wonderful work in them. Sparing you the details (and embarrassment on our part), we were no angels. You could have considered us as being a little wild.  He has turned us into a military family, a family who serves Christ and others.

Jeff and I are not perfect. We don't have a perfect relationship, but we do have God in our relationship.

We laugh as a family.
We cry as a family.
We worship as a family.
We pray as a family.

We are a family.

I love watching Jeff with the boys.  He loves his children so much. He wants them to be strong Christian men.  He spends time with them. He encourages them. 

I am blessed to be married to this man. He isn't afraid of a little hard work. He works his civilian job to provide for our family. He is unpaid as our church's associate pastor, and he serves God and country as a Chaplain in the Army Reserves.  He sacrifices to make this world, our home a better place.  Jeff knows how a simple touch, a soft kiss, the right words can lift me up.  He can surprise me on a daily basis or with a treat from across the globe.  We enjoy the simple things in life together: a trip to Sonic just to get out of the house, ice cream and the park, playing in the yard, or cuddling and watching our favorite shows.  The man is full of love. I thank God every day for him.

What about you? Is there something that made you fall in love with your husband? Do you have special love story you would like to share?  All though it is Friday, you can still join in Wife to Wife Wednesdays at Wives of Faith.  We would love to have you.  You can also leave a comment here.

Wife to Wife Wednesdays: Goals for the 2013

It is that time of the week again!  Time to connect with other military spouses at Wives of Faith for Wife to Wife Wednesdays.  Feel free to join us. Head on over there and link up with your blog or leave a comment. We would love to get to know you.

Today, Wives of Faith wants to know what 3 goals are I would like to have fulfilled in 2013.

For starters, I would like to have our finances under control.  There are some purchases I would like to make in the future.  Jeff and I really need "new" vehicles.  It seems like every time we turn around, something is wrong with one of them.  We just got his out of the shop. Mine is making some crazy noises.  I would also like to sell our home and buy another. There is lots of construction going on in the farm fields around us. I am afraid our little dead end street may not stay that way for long.  There are things that happen in our neighborhood that are not good, and we would like to be somewhere where we don't have to worry about our kids playing out in the yard.

Secondly, I want to be a healthier family.  I want us all to start taking better care of ourselves both physically and spiritually.  I know that sometimes we get in these ruts, and we don't eat well.  We devour our fast food and neglect our spiritual food.  That is definitely something we need to work on.  I think the Bible in a Year journey that Wives of Faith is promoting is going to help me (it already has). I have been feeding on God's Word daily.  He is speaking to me in so many wonderful ways. The stomach viruses I had back around Thanksgiving and Christmas have helped me too. I have been cautious about my eating habits. I have even been on the treadmill at few times.  Since Thanksgiving, I have lost 15 pounds and have 15 more that I would like to lose.

Finally, and I think most importantly, I want to be where God wants me (our family) to be. My husband is an Army Reserve Chaplain.  I honestly don't see him staying at his civilian job forever. He and I both feel that God is calling him to something more.  Maybe active duty. Maybe full time civilian ministry.  We aren't quite sure yet, but neither of us see a future with his current position.  We may be wrong, but at this point we don't see it.  That is something we will continue to pray about.  Lately, I have been unhappy with my job. There are days I wonder,"What's the point?"  I don't see me homeschooling my children. We can't even do homework together. If we ever go active duty, though, that may be something I would have to consider. Sometimes I feel like I would like to do some full time ministry work through church.


Those are my goals for the year.  I think they are pretty focused and reasonable. I know that for the most part it is going to take prayer, dedication, and discipline to reach those goals.  I know that I will also have to remember that God's timing is perfect and mine is not.  I have to keep my goals within His will.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." 

Jeremiah 29:11

What about you, Dear Friend, what are your goals for the year? I would love to hear about them. 

Wife to Wife Wednesday: Favorite Scripture

It's Wednesday, so that means it is time of another link up with Wife to Wife Wednesday hosted by Wives of Faith. Each week, Wives of Faith posts a topic allowing military wives the chance to connect. And who doesn't need a little community?

Today, the question is "What is your favorite scripture and why?"

Of course I love the greatest love story ever told found in John 3:16, but after that, my favorite verse is Psalm 118:24......

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.

As you can see, I have it framed in my living room (this is actually a greeting card that I bought years ago). I also have it on a coffee cup one of my students gave me last year.

Why do  love this verse? It serves as a daily reminder that God is in control. He has planned out each and everyday and it is up to me to be content in every situation. It is up to me to rejoice in my mountaintops and valley moments.  One thing I have learned in my 9 year Christian walk is that God is in all things. He is in all situations, good and bad.  Those moments mold me and shape me into the woman He has planned for me to be.  How can I not rejoice in that?

What about you?  What is your favorite scripture? I would love to hear about it.

If you are a military spouse, please join us at Wives of Faith today for Wife to Wife Wednesday. You can link up with your blog or just leave a comment.  Come and join the community! If you are not a military spouse, you can still join in!

Wife to Wife Wednesday

Today, for Wife to Wife Wednesday, Wives of Faith wants to know about my word of the year.

  Last year, I vowed to LIVE. I made no new year resolutions. I never keep them, so what's the point? After reading new year posts by several bloggers, I found they chose a theme or word to live by for the year. At that point, I chose the word LIVE. And live I did.

God had some amazing plans for my family that I did not know about. We ended the year in a place I never expected (well, maybe I did a little). But that is a whole series of posts to come at a later time.

I still want to live the life that God has planned for me. He is amazing and awesome. His ways are so much better than my own. So, as I am living for Him, what better way to live than to

I want to SHINE the light of Jesus in all I do, everywhere I go. I want people to see me and see HIM. One thing Jeff and I have talked so much about lately is that none of this is for us. It is for God. Everything we do should be His glory, not our own.

My marriage should glorify God.

My "parenting" should glorify God.

My attitude should glorify God.

Everything I am a part of, everything I am about should glorify God.

This world is a dark place. It is becoming darker by the moment. I want to be a SHINING light of hope. I want to lead others to Jesus. I want them to know Him like I do. I want to make the world a brighter place by glorifying God.

Would you join me? Would you help SHINE the light of Jesus in this dark world? Would you help me give hope to the lost and lonely?



Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16

What is your word or theme for the new year? I'd love you hear it. Check out what some other amazing military spouses are saying at Wife to Wife Wednesday hosted by Wives of Faith.

Wife to Wife Wednesday

For their first Wife to Wife Wednesdays weekly link up, Wives of Faith wants to know what I plan on doing differently this year.

There are so many things I could say:
watch what I eat
exercise more
donate more
volunteer more
and the list could go on
and on
and
on
and
on

But I stop to think about me, something I never do.  My life revolves around others.  Being a public school teacher most of my day revolves around my students. Being a mom of three boys, the rest of my day revolves around them.  My life revolves around taking care of my children, my husband, our home, our church, my job, our pets.

I don't take care of myself.

This year, I want to.

To be the wife and mother God wants me to be, I have to take care of me.

To be the teacher, daughter, friend, and coworker God wants me to be, I have to take care of me.

These last two months I have learned to manage my time better. I have learned to take charge of my bad habits.  I have learned to focus on God and put Him first in my life.

Because I have focused on Him, I am finding that I am a better me. I like myself better.  I feel like I have become a better wife and mother.  I have learned to give up control and depend on others.  I have learned I need to take time for me.

So this year, I want to be more intentional in doing that. I don't want to feel guilty if I decide to go shopping for myself. I don't want to feel guilty for taking off one weekend with my husband.  I don't want to feel guilty for relaxing and saying no to activities that really aren't a priority in my life.

I want to take care of me. I want to make time for myself.  Hod do I plan on doing that? By keeping God first in my life.

What about you?  What would you like to do differently this year?  You can join us at Wives of Faith to find out what some other fine ladies are wanting to do differently.