Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now

The military life is full of separations. The anticipation of a homecoming gets the adrenaline going!  It doesn't matter if it's weekend drill, deployment, or AT; when it's time to be reunited, nothing will stop you. Not even this....

This weekend storm brought flash flooding and 92 mph wind gusts.  But it wasn't going to keep me from picking up my Soldier from AT!

How Our Children Became Military Children

April is the Month of the Military Child.  The life of a military child is unlike that of any other.  Some are born into military families and others "join" with their families.  To celebrate my own military children, I'd love to share with you how they entered into this journey.

When Jeff and I first got married, not once did it cross my mind that we would become a military family.

As adults, we make choices for our futures and our families.  Jeff and I don't make any decisions without considering the effects they will have on our children.

Needless to say, making the choice to become a military family was one that took lots of thought and prayer.

When the decision was made, our oldest boys were 3 and 6 years old and our youngest was still in the womb.  He was the only one that was born into the military family.

We are not an active duty military family.  Therefore, some people may consider us to be "not really a military family."  We don't live on a military post, but live in the same house we've lived in since my oldest son was born almost 13 years ago.  We have not been relocated, but we have experienced much of what the military has to "offer."

When my husband decided to enlist in the Army Reserves, he was to become a Chaplain.  To do this, he had to attend seminary and take about 96 hours of masters classes.  He attended CH-BOLC which is basically basic training for Chaplains.  He was gone from June to September of 2010. My youngest son was just 3 months old when he left. During that time, we saw him during the Fourth of July holiday and then reunited at his graduation.  Still, he continued to take his masters classes.  Finally, after what seemed like forever, my husband received his masters in divinity and was officially a chaplain.  He attended his annual trainings and monthly battle assemblies/drills.  Then deployment. We were fortunate enough to have a short deployment, 6 months.  In that time, my boys did extremely well.  It was great that we were able to Skype with their daddy and talk with him on the phone as much as we did.  We had our routines. They had school and church and sports.  Time passed as quickly as it could when a family goes through deployment.  My husband was home just in time for summer vacation.  We were able to travel and just enjoy being a family again.

I do look at all of the challenges the military has brought to our family and how it has affected our children.  I say they have handled things well. My oldest son loves all things military and even speaks of joining when he is older. My middle child doesn't say much about it at all.  He is not one to express his feelings much and internalizes things.  This worries me because I am a feelings type of person.....just let it all out and express yourself.  My youngest is a bit different in the fact that this is all he knows.  He is definitely a Mama's Boy and I wonder if it's because he is the baby or because his daddy has spent a lot of time away during his 5 years.

Regardless of what we've been through, my children are proud of their daddy and his service.  They have a strong since of patriotism and honor.  They support their daddy and what he strives to do with his service in the military.  Please join me this month as we honor all military children.  They serve and sacrifice along their service member.

Five Minute Friday: Relief

This morning, I checked Facebook before I ever rolled out of bed. An acquaintance of mine had posted one of those Timehop photos of her and her husband at the airport the day he was deployed 7 years ago.  It took me back to the day I took my husband to the airport for his deployment.

My chest hurt.

My heart raised.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't talk for fear of crying. I had promised myself I wouldn't cry.  I would be strong for him, our children, and his parents.

It was hard.

The months he spent away were very difficult.  Especially the night we were Skyping and his compound came under attack.  There are no words to describe that feeling.

We prayed and prayed and prayed.

Then one night at 1am, he called me and told me he had just landed in Bangor, Maine.  What relief that brought! I could breathe a little easier.

The best moment of all.....being reunited at the same airport where months earlier, I was filled with anxiety and fear.  I no longer had lingering fears of his safety. He was back in my arms, back with our family, back where he belonged.  The relief that comes with holding your Soldier for the first time after war.....well, there's no words for that either.  The tears come.  The praises for God's provision come.  The thankfulness.  It's all overwhelming.

Thank you for stopping by on the Friday.  I would like to add this final thought even though my five minutes are up....Jesus was the source of our strength through this deployment.  I got so many comments of, "How do you do it?"  The truth of the matter is, I didn't. Jesus did.  I don't get through one day of my life with Him.  All too often people look for relief elsewhere....gambling, alcohol, retail therapy.....but true relief comes from Christ.  We were never promised an easy life, but Jesus promised He would always be with us.

Be sure to stop by www.katemotaung.com to read some inspiring thoughts from some other writers.  Happy Friday!

Things people will never understand

I usually hate reading comments on news articles, blog posts, and Facebook posts, especially those that contain controversial topics.I get frustrated with people, their lack of knowledge, class, and common sense.  

Two years ago, when my husband was in Afghanistan, he had arranged for Roscoe, one of the mascots of the Bowling Green Hot Rods minor league baseball team, to surprise me in my classroom on Valentine's Day.  I never thought that these pictures would cause controversy.

It had been a rough day.  One of the boys was sick, and I really wanted to stay home with him. With some coaxing from my  principal, I got some help from my mom and made my way to work.  Hours later, Roscoe showed up.  After he left, I walked to the hallway, found one of my teammates, and cried.  I missed my husband. I wanted him home.

Later, I came across these pictures on Facebook. I was appalled by the comments. They weren't negative toward me, but they caused some folks to gripe about Roscoe not being allowed to deliver to their children, so it shouldn't have been allowed for a teacher.  The Hot Rods explained that deliveries were determined by schools according to their school policies.

My husband had taken the time to contact my principal, who was excited to be part of the surprise.  The office staff kept it a secret until the moment Roscoe appeared in my room.  A world away, my husband brightened my day.

When the comments appeared, I wanted to scream, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!  MY HUSBAND IS IN AFGHANISTAN!"

But, I kept my mouth closed.  They didn't understand. Did they really need to know my side of the story?  I knew my story.

My story was my husband was serving in Afghanistan, ministering to our Soldiers who were giving these people the right to express their opinion.

My story was that my husband, although a world away in a war zone, found a way to show his love on Valentine's Day.

My story was that I was living a life they would not understand.

Not just with me, but do we ever really understand what a person is going through?  Do we know what life another person is living?

No, we don't.

We can be judgmental and selfish and make comments on things we can never understand.  When we do that, it hurts others, even if we don't mean anything by it.

When Jesus was being crucified, He cried out, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."  We too must choose to forgive when people hurt us, whether out of spite or on accident.  For me, forgiveness is not an option.  Jesus chose to forgive me, wretched me.  If He can do that for me, I can do that for others.

So, this Valentine's Day, I would like for you to consider true love. Real. True. Love.  The love that only comes from Jesus.  Once we know that love, it is so much easier to share that love with others.  That's how we come to forgive and love those that will never understand our stories.

Book Review: Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment

As a military spouse, I am always searching for something to grow closer to God, strengthen my marriage, and support my Soldier. 

Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment: 40 Devotions for Military Couples is written by Heather Gray.  She uses her experience as a military spouse to help military couples grow strong in the Lord and in their relationships with one another.

The 40 devotions included in this book covers topics ranging from separation to communication and from children to naysayers.  Each devotion is divided up into sections related to the title: Faith (which includes scripture for both spouses), Hope (a been there, done that personal story from Heather’s experience), Love (an opportunity to reflect on the devotion and write a love letter, so to speak), and Deployment (a challenge for the couple to become closer during separation). Included within these are discussion/reflection questions for the couple.

This is an amazing book for military couples, and I don’t think I have the words to do it justice.  I am thankful for Heather Gray and women like her that use their experience to minister to others. 

If you are a military spouse, I highly suggest you get a copy of this book. If you know a military couple, this would be a great gift to give them.

Please note that the author's husband was KIA in Afghanistan. This book was actually being written before he was killed, and Heather finished the book after debating about it.  For some couples, it may seem awkward to read a devotional written by a military widow. However, for me, I found comfort in Heather's words.  Not everything in the book relates to her husband's death, although certain devotions focus on it.  I see this as an opportunity to use the experiences of another military spouse to help strengthen my own military marriage.

 I received a free copy of this book from Leafwood Publishers for the purpose of review.  I was not required to write a positive review of this book.  

The Uniform

I simply love my man in uniform.  I love him. I respect his uniform. 

 

When my husband reminisces about his childhood, he tells stories of playing army with his friends. When other boys his age were shopping for the latest toys at the toy store, he was shopping for the ultimate army gear at Major Weatherby’s.  Anybody from South Central Kentucky remember that place?

 When Jeff and I met as teenagers, he often talked about joining the military.  After we married, he still talked about it.  When he finally decided to follow that calling, I said, “It’s about time!” 

 There’s something I need you to know about my husband.  He is a humble man, a man that cares for others.  He has this amazing personality that draws people to him.  I think he is pretty awesome. 

 Because of his love for others, I think God has called him to the right position, Chaplain in the US Army.  It is an amazing job.  When people first asked us about this job, the best way to explain it was by saying, “He is like a preacher for the Army.”  But honestly, it is so much more than that.  I see him as a friend to his fellow soldiers.  When a relative passes away, he stays with the soldier through the night.  When the soldier is hurting, brokenhearted, he spends his time listening, giving words of comfort and encouragement.  If he can’t help, he finds those that can.  He preaches God’s Word and has had the privilege of leading soldiers to Christ and then later performing their baptisms to show their obedience to Christ. Being a Chaplain is one of the many amazing jobs held by our soldiers. 

Regardless of position, rank, or branch of service, there is something about that uniform.  To me, it is almost sacred.  It takes a special person to honorably wear the uniform.

There are men and women who put on the uniform every day because they have earned the right to wear it.  They have worked hard to earn that right.  I am able to sit back as the wife of a soldier and simply see things from my perspective.  I could try to tell you what it takes for a man or woman to earn that right to call themselves United States Soldiers, but I can’t.  Not even from “knowing” what my husband has gone through.  There is a personal sacrifice they make that none of us could ever imagine.

The first time I saw my husband in uniform, I was so proud of him.  I felt like it was an amazing accomplishment.  Each time I see him in uniform, serving God and Country, I feel so blessed to have a man in my life that would follow God’s calling.  That isn’t always easy to do.

 

I do love the way my husband looks in his uniform, but again, I respect his uniform.  As I am doing laundry today, folding and putting away his things from three weeks of training at Ft. Dix, I am reminded of the sacrifices that soldiers make to be able to wear the uniform with pride. 

 I am bothered by the people who sport the uniform because they like the way it looks. I am bothered by the people who play in the uniform, pretending they are in a warzone.  I am bothered by the local organizations that dress their law enforcement officers in the uniform. I am bothered by the people who are in love with the uniform, not knowing what it ultimately takes to be able to wear it with honor.

It is the uniform of the United States Soldier.  We should respect it and those who wear it. 

Schools for Military Kids

I would like a little feedback from my military mom readers.  My husband and I are considering going active duty instead of staying in the reserves.  We want the best educational opportunity for our children.  From mom to mom, I'd like to know:

1. Do you home school or do your children attend school?

2. If your children attend school, is it a public school, private school, or a school on base?

3.  What are your educational regrets with your children? What would you change?

If we do decide to go active duty, I will have to continue to work.  There's a little word called bills!  So, I would have to find me a job, hopefully a teaching job since that's what I do. 

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

May 4, 2013

Is that what I see? The light that says this deployment is almost over???? Could it be? Yes! I think it is!

We are so much on the countdown at my house.  It was so nice to "hear" those words, "We may be leaving tomorrow or Monday."  Wow!  Music to my ears.

However, I will not celebrate until my arms are wrapped around my husband.  I will prepare, but not celebrate.

I know that with this life, anything can happen. So, I will continue to wait patiently. I will continue to pray for the safety of my husband.

And when he is home, we will not forgot those that are still in harm's way. We will continue to pray for them as well.

As the light gets brighter and nearer, there is still a decision to make....active duty or not?  We have talked about it, prayed about it, discussed it with children, and friends.  But we've yet to make the decision.  There is nothing in my eyes that is screaming NO! DON'T DO IT!  There are these subtle messages on why we should.  I received this in an email the other day, and it totally reminded me of this decision we have to make.....

You'll Never Be Ready

He [Abraham] did not know where he was going. — Hebrews 11:8  Go. Set. Ready. You’ll never be ready. You’ll never be ready to get married. You’ll never be ready to have kids. You’ll never be ready to start a business or go back to school or move to the mission field. You’ll never be ready financially, emotionally, or spiritually. You’ll never have enough faith, enough cash, or enough courage. And if you are looking for an excuse, you will always find one. I never have been, and I’m sure I never will be, ready for anything God has called me to do. This doesn’t mean I haven’t prepared myself. I’ve worked hard getting an education, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be ready for anything God has called me to. And that’s OK. God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll be waiting for the rest of your life. The author of Hebrews writes, “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going” (Hebrews 11:8). Abraham didn’t know the final destination, but it didn’t keep him from taking the first step in the journey. What’s the first step or next step you need to take in your journey? If you take the first step, God will reveal the second step. The problem is that most of us want the twenty-five-year plan before we’re willing to step out in faith. We want to know exactly where we’re going and exactly when we’ll get there, but God doesn’t operate that way. He gives us just enough revelation, just enough grace, just enough strength. Why? So we will live in daily dependence on Him. He doesn’t want us to rely on the revelation; He wants us to rely on Him. Without knowing where he was going, Abraham took the first step. And God honored it. There are moments in life when you need to quit a job, make a move, or end a dating relationship. And you need to take that step without knowing what the next step will be. Don’t wait for more revelation; be obedient to the amount of revelation God has given you. There is an old adage: ready, set, go. And I know it’s predicated on the importance of preparation. But I think it’s backward. You’ll never be ready. You’ll never be set. Sometimes you just need to go for it. The sequence of faith is this: Go. Set. Ready. Some people spend their entire lives getting ready for what God wants them to do, but they never end up doing it because they never come to the realization that they’ll never be ready. This is where so many of us get stuck. Our failure to act on what we know God is calling us to do not only breeds doubt and discouragement; it’s a form of disobedience. Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus said “Go.” So why do we operate with this red-light mentality? Why are we waiting for the green light we’ve already been given? As Christ-followers, we are called to take a why not approach to life. It’s an approach to life that dares to dream. It’s an approach that’s bent toward action. And it doesn’t look for excuses not to do something. Don’t get me wrong. It’s awfully difficult to discern the will of God. Even after prayer and fasting, it usually entails making tough decisions. And I’m certainly not advocating a thoughtless or prayerless approach to decision making. We need to know that God is calling us to devote our lives to missions, take the internship offer, quit our job, or make the move. But I wonder if we’re so afraid of doing the wrong thing that it keeps us from doing the right thing. Excerpted with permission from Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge by Mark Batterson (Zondervan, copyright 2012). All rights reserved

Easter/Spring Care Package

March 1, 2013

For Easter, I created Jeff a care package that had some of his favorite things, plus a couple of fun things.

I covered the inside of the box with pastel wrapping paper and put Easter basket grass in the bottom.

 I got a colorful slinky to attach to the box. I added a note that said, "Spring on home to us." I also attached a note to a box of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies that said, "I need Samoa you!"  

 I figured out how Pintrest worked and found a neat idea using a deck of cards.  I called it 52 Things I Love and Miss About You.  Carson got a kick out of some of them.

I also included scripture on some slips of paper and put them inside of plastic eggs. This was a fun package to put together.

Jeremiah 29:11 Wives of Faith Military Spouse Appreciation Link Up

Today, I am taking part in the Wives of Faith Military Spouse Appreciation Week link up. 

Today, they want to know

 Which scripture has been a life verse for you on your journey as a military spouse, or what scripture has God used to comfort you on this journey in military life?

The verse that stands out the most to me is Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

For me, that is averse that dwells deep within my soul.  It isn't easy to trust God, especially when he takes you out of your comfort zone.  However, knowing that he is in control and wants the best for me is such an amazing promise.  I am reminded during those difficult times to look back and see how The Lord provided when I stepped out in faith.

What about you? Is there scripture that has comforted you on this journey?  Join us at Wives of Faith to get in on the conversation.  

 

NIV Military Wives' New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs Giveaway

Thanks to the two wonderful military wives who entered to win the the NIV Military Wives' New Testament with Psalms an Proverbs. I really enjoyed reading your comments you posted as part of your entry. 

I wish I could give both of them a copy.   However, I have to choose one winner. I did so using the random number generator from random.org. And the winner is..... Ashley.

 Congratulations, Ashley!  I will be contacting you soon.  

For anyone else who is interested in getting your own copy of this Bible, you can still take advantage of the Buy One Give One offer.

 With every purchase of the NIV Military Wives’ New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs, you will receive an additional copy to share with a friend for free!

To get your free copy:

Visit www.churchsource.com and create an account

Add 2 copies of NIV Military Wives’ New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs (9780310421078) to your cart

Enter promo code BD5W11 at checkout

Offer Valid 5/1/2013 through 5/31/2013

 

Also,  Wives of Faith will be giving away a copy as part of today's Military Spouse Appreciation Link Up.  

Giveaway and Buy One Give One Offer

 

Don't forget about the Military Wives' New Testament Giveaway.  CLICK HERE to enter. The giveaway ends Sunday, but you can continue to use the Buy One Give One offer.

Military Wives' New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs

Today, I have something  for you. Three things actually....a review, a giveaway, and a really good offer!

I love a good devotion/study Bible.  As a military wife, I was looking for something that applied to me and my season of life.  I found that when I came across Military Wives' New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs (NIV).  I looked it over via the internet and considered the pre-order. For whatever reason, I didn't proceed with purchasing this Bible.  Then a couple of weeks later, I was contacted by Zondervan for the amazing opportunity to review this Bible for you.

This Bible contains a forward by Jocelyn Green, who reminds us that The Bible is your protection and your weapon. An amazing group of contributors have helped include sections called Reinforcements, Home Front Heroes, Hymns, and Basic Training. 

Reinforcements are 60 devotions that focus on a specific passage that are meant to challenge and encourage you.  Home Front Heroes are 30 devotions that illustrate a key Bible principal demonstrated by  those on the American home front.  Hymns are included to help strengthen your faith, as well as 10 Bible studies in the Basic Training section. 

I absolutely LOVE this Bible. I think it is a staple for all military wives. 

Are you a military wife interested in this Bible?  Well, you have the chance to win your own copy.  All you have to do is leave me a comment below telling me how long you have been a military wife. I will select the winner on Sunday. Your Bible will be sent directly to you by the publisher. 

If you don't win, can't wait, or want to get a Bible as a gift, I have a special offer for you too!

Buy 1 Give 1 Free!

With every purchase of the NIV Military Wives’ New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs, you will receive an additional copy to share with a friend for free!

To get your free copy:

Visit www.churchsource.com and create an account

Add 2 copies of NIV Military Wives’ New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs (9780310421078) to your cart

Enter promo code BD5W11 at checkout

Offer Valid 5/1/2013 through 5/31/2013

I would love to hear from you too if you took advantage of the special offer. 

I received a free copy of this Bible from Zondervan for the purpose of review and giveaway. 

Wife to Wife Wednesdays: Change

Never in a million years did I expect to be a military wife. I always knew my husband would have liked to serve our country, but never thought it would lead anywhere. 

As a reserves family, the military hasn’t changed our lives that much.  I have been accustomed to my husband being away due to his civilian job. He has traveled many different places, as close as Atlanta and Chicago and as far away as LA and Japan. 

However, his service in the military has added new dangers to his travels.  I know anything can happen anywhere, but knowing what could happen due to his service is different. 

I’m not real sure that being a military wife has changed me, but I know serving the Lord has.  I know I could not live this life with my dedication to Him.  People say to me, “I don’t know how you do it.” My reply is, “I just do because of God.” 

I know I have had to become more independent.  Being in charge of “guy” things isn’t easy for me. Being a decision maker isn’t easy for me.  I was out of my comfort zone just having to select and purchase a new washing machine on my own.   I know some women have had to make major decisions like purchasing a vehicle  or home, or even something more important things like medical decisions. 

Whether or not we go active duty will definitely have an impact.  If we remain a reserve family, we will remain where we are.  However, if we go active duty, we will have to decide whether or not I would continue to work or stay at home with our children. Would they attend school or would I home school?  There are so many things about active duty that would change me. 

Are you a military wife? How has that changed you?  You can comment here or join in at Wives of Faith.

It Isn't Me

Today, I am writing at Wives of Faith.  Please join me for my first guest post.  See you there!

Wife to Wife Wednesdays: Problems and Issues Within Military Marriages

We are a relatively new military family. In fact, we have been married for over 13 years, but have only been in the military for about 4 years.

The time apart has been most difficult for us; however, God has provided for us in so many amazing ways.  His blessings are what have gotten us through rough patches.

Jeff began traveling for his civilian job when Colin was two and a half years old. His first trip - 2 months in Japan.  During this time, Jeff missed Thanksgiving and Colin's Christmas program. Colin also locked himself in the bathroom with the bath running, and our heat went out.  At the end of this time, we had an ice storm,  and Jeff's flight was delayed.

Jeff continued to travel for work after Carson was born. After Carter was born, he attended CH-BOLC for 3 months. During this time, my grandmother passed away. We also had car and electrical trouble.

Jeff has continued to travel for both his chaplaincy position and for his civilian job. During each trip, we have experienced some sort of drama at home.

Looking back, I can see how these times were a blessing.  I can't imagine having to go through a deployment with 3 kids and never having to be by myself before.  It was almost like God was preparing us.

Another thing that has helped us has been technology.  We are blessed to live in the age of email, text messaging, and Skype.  These things have enabled us to keep in touch during times apart.

The main thing that has kept us strong is our faith in God.  Without Him, we couldn't do this thing called military life.

Perhaps one of the things that has touched me the most is this.....

When Jeff was being interviewed by the chaplain board, he was asked about our relationship.  They basically wanted to know if he trusted me, did he think I would ever have an affair if he were to deploy.  He told them that he trusted me and that I was totally dedicated to our family and supportive of what God had planned for him.

That is what my purpose as his wife is: to be totally dedicated to our family, our marriage and to support him in whatever God calls him to do.

Life is hard. Marriage is a lot of work.  God never promises us that either will be easy.  He promises to be there with us.  When I made my marriage vows, I made them for life.

We have a choice in how we behave while our husbands are away. We have a choice in how we behave when life gets tough. 

Whether we are military wives or civilian wives, the most important thing that we can do is allow God to lead us.  He will guide us. He will show us how to put our families first.

What about you?

What is one challenge experienced in military marriages that you have been able to work through or overcome?

Join us this week at Wife to Wife Wednesday over at Wives of Faith.  

Fearless

I have to say a big THANK YOU to WaterBrook Press for donating more copies of

to our Soldiers who are serving overseas this holiday season.

Thank you!

A Christmas Poem

I received a Christmas card today from my grandmother that included the following poem and had to share it.

By James M. Schmidt, a Marine Lance Corporal
stationed in Washington, D.C., in 1986


Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house made of plaster & stone.

I had come down the chimney, with presents to give
and to see just who in this home did live

As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand.
On the wall hung pictures of a far distant land.

With medals and badges, awards of all kind,
a sobering thought soon came to my mind.
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen.
This was the home of a U.S. Marine.

I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more,
so I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in his one-bedroom home.

He seemed so gentle, his face so serene,
Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.
Was this the hero, of whom I’d just read?
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean-shaven, his weathered face tan.
I soon understood, this was more than a man.
For I realized the families that I saw that night,
owed their lives to these men, who were willing to fight.

Soon around the Nation, the children would play,
And grown-ups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom, each month and all year,
because of Marines like this one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye.
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.

He must have awoken, for I heard a rough voice,
"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my country, my Corps."

With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I watched him for hours, so silent and still.
I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.
So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
and covered this Marine from his toes to his head.

Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold,
with an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.
And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,
and for one shining moment, I was Marine Corps deep inside.

I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.
But half asleep he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure,
said "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day, all secure."

One look at my watch and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi and goodnight.

Tour of Duty Bible Study

Below are the answers to the discussion questions for Chapters 4 and 5. Please feel free to comment on anything even if you aren't participating in the study. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Ch. 4 – The Desert of Enough


1. Have you ever felt like no one understood what you were going through? How does this misunderstanding from others make deployment more difficult?

I think we have all felt that no one understands. In all reality, there are those that do. I think about the women before us who didn't have email, SKYPE, and texting. They had to wait and wait and wait and wait some more to hear from their Soldiers. Wonder if they think we don't understand?!?

Seriously though....it does make things difficult. I think maybe we let that misunderstanding make us feel entitled to a big pity party. We can stop reaching out for help (if we ever did in the first place). I think it can cause us to alienate ourselves from people who really do care about us and want to help us.


2. If you’re comfortable with doing it, describe a situation when you felt stuck in an emotional desert.

When my husband traveled to Japan (our first long trip away from each other), I was left home with my 2 1/2 year old. It was a very cold December. My son had locked himself in the bathroom with the water running earlier in the week. For a couple of nights our heat kept messing up. It would work throughtout the day and then stop at night. The last straw came when I woke up at 2 am and it was 53 degrees in the house. I cried and told God that I just couldn't do it. I couldn't pack up my son and somewhere to spend the night and then get up for work. I missed my husband and wanted him home. I wanted someone to have answers and to fix things because i just couldn't. God heard my cry and got me through that. The heat miraclulously came back on within minutes and my son and I slept warmly the rest of the night. I felt renewed by just handing it all over to God.

3. We talked in the chapter about finding shelter in God’s love for us. Have you experienced this shelter from God? If so, describe it.

Oh, yes! His shelter comes in so many forms. Having just enough money to pay the bills. A friend (or stranger) there when you need them. The words we need to hear from scripture or song. God definitely provdies for us in so many amazing ways.

4. We looked at some discouraging circumstances in the life of Noah, David, the Israelites and Hannah. With which of these situations could you most relate?

I have definitely wanted a child badly. It was one of those times when I told myself God would let us have a baby when he was ready and not being pregnant was ok. Only I found that I truly didn't believe it. I had gone to the doctor thinking/believing I was pregnant. When the nurse told me I wasn't, I practically ran from the office. My husband had to catch up with me. It was definitely discouraging, but I realized that my faith wasn't what it should have been. It took lots of prayer to get me where I needed to be.

5. Part of the journey of deployment includes emotional highs and lows. What can you do to combat this emotional roller coaster?

Prayer. Scripture reading. PRAISE GOD! It is important to realize that God is in control. This is His plan and that he will see us through. For me, not knowing whether or not this deployment was going to come was hard. I am a planner by nature. I needed to know one way or the other so I could have peace either way. God made His decision when we learned to accept His timetable.

6. We asked on page 63 for you to describe a time when belief in God’s absolute control over a situation encouraged you or someone you know. If you’re comfortable in doing so, share that time with us here.

My husband and I found ourselves in a financial mess after he returned from CH-BOLC. What was supposed to turn into a short trip (3 hour tour HA!) became the full course. At the time, we thought this was the end of the world. However, it was a blessing in disguise. We were able to get our vehicle payed off and figure out how to pay off some other bills in a timely manner. I like to think we are on our way to recovery!

7. Do you believe that God sympathizes and understands when we struggle? If so, how does that help you?

YES! YES! YES! John 16:33 says, "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

It is encouraging to know that God has control and power over all things and that He wants us to have peace. We can "feel better" about difficult times knowing that He stands with us.

8. In what ways can you make deployment easier on yourself by realizing you don’t have to be perfect?

It allows us a time to try to cut back on things that are not important. Honestly, does anyone other than ourselves expect us to be perfect. My husband (mom, mother-in-law, half of our church) reminded me this week to ask for help, to take care of me needs. It is helpful to have those closest to you remind you to do that. They are giving you the OK not to be perfect.

9. Which Scripture passage out of the ones that identify rest on p. 67 meant the most to you?

Psalm 4:8: I will both lie down in peace and sleep. For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.


I don't sleep well when my husband is not home. The dog barks and I look out the window. I hear a creak and walk the house. Worries and stresses flood my thoughts. However, this verse reminds me that God provides me with true peace and rest. I can give my burdens to him and he will take care of me.

10. How does knowing that God will walk with you through the Desert of Enough help you today?
It is an amazing reminder that I am not on this journey alone.

Ch. 5 – Mountain for One

1. We’re in our fourth week of this study – only 1 week left!! What has God taught you recently through the journey of deployment? It can be big or small.

God has just been reminding me of things I know (things that I hope my faith will hold on to). I need to let go of some things, take care of myself, and just trust Him.

Everything is in God's timing. We can't rush things. We can't slow things. We are so not in control.

2. What did you think about this chapter this week? Have you found yourself on a Mountain for One recently? If you feel comfortable, share what that’s been like.

My Mountain for One has not yet come. Ask me again in a few weeks!!!

3. If you feel comfortable, share your response to the question on page 75 regarding a time when you wanted to give up.

I think sometimes the frustration of feeling like we have to do it all, or being in position when you didn't have support makes you want to give up. I remember wanting to give up on a church committee because I felt like I was the only one doing anything when it was to be a group effort. Giving up is the easy way out. I stayed on the committee after airing out my feelings to my husband and pastor, and that gave me a new outlook. I took the focus off of me and put it on God.

4. To which CAVE do you most often retreat in hard times?

I think maybe Apathy. It is easy for me to remove myself emotionally from situations.

5. What has God already done in your life that you missed because you weren’t looking?

I think I missed out on things due to fear. My middle school music teacher encouraged my to be in the high school color guard, but I didn't feel like I was good enough. I even backed out of living in the dorms in college due to fear, of what, I don't know. I just chickened out. When you lack self esteem fear grips you and you miss out on what God can offer you. Those things could have built my confidence and provided great experiences.

6. Read Philippians 4:8 and discuss your thoughts. What other verses has God used to encourage you?

When I read Philippians 4:8, I am reminded that whatever we set our thoughts upon is what we become. We can make excuses for ourselves about many things to make us "not look so bad." When we do, that becomes our lifestyle. One thing I am seeing now is that some women that I care about are convincing themselves they need a break from their husbands and children, so for them it is ok to go out to clubs just to get away. I think that is asking for trouble. I don't see anything wrong with some moms taking time to go to dinner to hang out to talk, but going out drinking to places where others are there to hook up, not so good. We have to be very careful of becoming worn out. We shouldn't view our families, our lives, or the season we are in as a burden, when we do, that is asking Satan to come on in and take over.

I love Psalm 118:24: This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. It reminds me that each day is a gift. We are not promised tomorrow, so we should make the most of today.

Music also touches my heart. We sang Spirit of the Living God at church recently and it really spoke to me.

Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me;
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me.
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me.
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me.

7. Like Elijah, what action is God telling you to do?

I think God is telling me to be in his presence. So many times I find myself slipping away from Him because I have made my life so busy and so unorganized. I need to focus on Him.

8. How has God been whispering encouragement to you this week?

God has definitely been whispering to me this week! I have felt and heard Him in the little things, cherishing the time with my family. He has definitely reminded that He is in control and urging me to trust Him.


9. How do you make reading your Bible a priority? When do you do this? What tips can you share with other women in the group?

When I feel like I am not as close to God as I need to be, I realize it is because I have not been reading my Bible. When thing I have learned to do is to keep a Bible near me, in my bag, by the recliner or bed, or even as an APP on my iPad or cell phone. Then when I have a down moment, I read scripture instead of magazines, playing games, or watching TV. I've done this early in the mornings before any one else is up, in doctor's offices, in the car while waiting for my husband to come out of a store, or at night while the kids are watching cartoons before bedtime. I had to acknowledge all the ways I waste time before I found the time. We all complain that we just don't have time, but if we assess our internet time, our tv time, etc, then we really do have the time, we are just choosing other things.