This Day

On this day 39 years ago, I was born.  I had been a dream for my parents for 9 months.  They wandered about me, imagined who I would be and what I would be like.  They may have been a little surprised that I was a girl.

But I was no surprise to God.

The Lord says in  Jeremiah 1:5, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you."

Yes, God knew all about me.  He formed each and every part of my being.  He knew my strengths and weaknesses before I cried my first cry.

As I celebrate the gift of another year, I pause and thank God for loving me, providing for me, and blessing me.  I look back and see how He has held my hand or carried me the last 39 years.

And as I am pushing 40, almost over the hill, or whatever else we want to call it as we get older,  I have nothing to fear.  I have nothing to dread.  No matter what God has in store for me, I know everything will work out to His plan.

God has proved himself faithful.  Not that He had to, but He proved himself to me through His Word and His creation.  In each of my struggles, I can see where His hand of provision was.  In each celebration, I can see where He provided for me.

As kids, we put a lot of thought into what gifts we wanted for our birthdays.  But now....

As an adult, I see gifts a little differently.  It isn't the store bought stuff I want.  God has blessed me and given me gifts each and every day. Although I will certainly treasure whatever gifts my children get for me, they are one of my greatest gifts.  My husband is an amazing gift.  God has provided me with other gifts as well.....a family, a job, a home, health, a talent, a wonderful church, salvation through His son Jesus Christ.

No matter where I am on this journey God has planned for me, I will know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

And today, I celebrate being 39 years old.  I celebrate another day being a Child of God.

If you are struggling with getting older, if you are struggling with who you are on this life journey, I pray that you will seek God's good and perfect will for your life.  Being His is the greatest gift of all.

Mindful of Me

I love sunsets and sunrises, ocean and mountain views, pouring rain and drifting snow, sunny days and foggy mornings.   Nature is beautiful. More importantly, it is reminder of two things:


1. God is awesome and creative.
2. God makes amazing things.

Psalm 8:3-4 says, "When I consider Your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have ordained, what is man that you are mindful of him?"

As we consider the work of the Lord's fingers, we are in awe.  No two sunsets or sunrises are the same.  Each are unique in their colors. There may be many clouds, a few, or none at all.  And consider the power of thunderstorms, how dramatic the thunder and lightning can be or the peacefulness of it all.

God has placed the sun, moon, and earth in their proper places.  Consider if He'd placed them slightly differently, maybe just a few miles closer or further apart.  That would greatly impact life on earth.

The stars in the skies have been placed in the heavens for specific purposes as well.  Many explorers have faithfully used them to navigate.

Yes, nature is amazing because God is amazing.

And God created us as well.

God is as mindful of us as He is of nature.

We are each unique.  Although we may have the same weight and height, our hair and eyes are different. Our appearances are different. Our personalities are different.  No matter how alike we are, we are different.

But God is mindful of us.

He cares for us in ways that are specific to our differences and needs.  He provides for us in ways we could never imagine.  He loves us tremendously, which is proved  by the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ.

We all have times we get down on ourselves.
I'm  not pretty enough.
I'm not athletic enough.
I'm not talented enough.
I'm not rich enough.
I'm not........enough

Let's take today to look at how God is mindful of us.....
For instance,  maybe God provided a friend at just the right time.
Maybe God provided an answer to a prayer.
Maybe God said no to a prayer and it was the best thing.

My challenge to you today, as we continue looking at who we are in Christ, is to look at how God is mindful of you.

Look for what makes you unique and praise God.
Look at what you enjoy and praise God.
Look at your family and friends and praise God.
Look at your job and your home and praise God.
Look at the cross and praise God.

I promise.....if you look, you will see how God is mindful of you and only you.

Don't compare yourself to anyone else.  You are not the same as anyone else. When my cousin was going through her chemo treatments, she said that several of them were comparing their treatments and would become upset that they weren't getting the same treatment. The nurse had to stop the discussions and remind them that their diagnosis were different, that they couldn't have the same treatment plan.  And we can't compare how God provides for us with how He provides for someone else.  We have different temperaments. We have different sins. We have made different decisions in life.

We are different because God loves us that much.

How has God been mindful of you?

Where I Come From

I'm from a dead-end street where we played hide and seek until the street light came on.

I'm from grandparents who called me "Sista Nose" and "Field Mouse."

I'm from summers of banana Popsicles, watermelon, and snow in gallon size Ziploc bags.

I'm from a big brother whom I hit in the face with an Easter basket. I may or may not have affected any of his teeth.

I'm from skinned knees and mud pies.

I'm from country music and Bon Jovi.


Those are a few of my childhood memories, my background, my history.

Later, I would be from

FSMS yearbook staff and Harlequin romance novels

4 proms with my high school sweet heart

Chocolate chip cookies in the hall during Spanish III.

Class of '96

Quick meals at Arby's before nursery duty.

Tireless days of student teaching.

WKU Class of '99


As I've gotten older, my responsibilities have changed.  Who I was and who I hoped to be would change.

I'm not who I was 20 years ago when I graduated high school.

I'm not who I was 17 years ago when I said, "I do."

I'm not who I was 6 months ago.

Although my experiences are a part of me....they've helped mold me.....they've helped me determine my next steps, the next path, the next journey.....


My experiences ultimately do not define me.

When I look in the mirror, I'm not defined by the gray hair and crows feet.

I'm not defined by my clumsiness or my social awkwardness.

I am defined by one thing and one thing only, my relationship with Christ.

He is where I come from.

Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them."

When I look in the mirror, I see the image of God. I see someone created by the hands of God.

Many times, I've not felt myself worthy or good for whatever reason. I would get down on my self for making mistakes.  There were times I felt I didn't matter.  But the more I studied God's word and grew closer to Him, the more I felt my confidence grow, the more I saw my importance.

David Crowder sings a song called "Everything Glorious," and in this song, he sings of the glorious things God has done and created.  The line I love the most is this....

You make everything glorious

And I am Yours

What does that make me?

And those words remind me of where I come from.

I come from God who has made everything glorious.  And because He makes everything glorious and I am His.....well, that makes me pretty special.

Today, I encourage you to take a look at yourself.  See yourself the way God see you.....Glorious.

When the Reflection in the Mirror Changes

We spend so much of our time and money on stuff: clothes, manicures, pedicures, shoes, hair, jewelry, cars, houses, and the list keeps going.  We want this certain image, and we work hard to get it.  We've got to live in the right neighborhood, go to the right church, be on the right travel ball team, drive the right car, and vacation with the right people.

But all of that stuff can be taken away in an instant.

Job 1:21 says, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

When you and I were born, we were naked.  We came into this world with nothing.  We will leave this world taking nothing with us.  It's what we focus on during that in-between that counts.  What are you making important? Is it the image in the mirror or is it the beauty of the heart?

Each morning when I get up, one of the first things I do is look in the mirror.  Every once in a while, I notice the reflection has changed a bit.  There may be an added wrinkle or sun spot. My crows feet may have grown over night or the last box of hair color has faded and the gray sparkles shine once again.  Sometimes, I'll admit, it's quite depressing.  But what comes next makes it all worthwhile.

I open my Bible and read God's word.  He speaks truth to me.  He tells me what's wrong with my heart and shows me how to fix it. He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  He makes it known that I am beautiful in his eyes.

The mirror shows the surface. God shows the heart.

I am reminded everyday that I am not that skinny sixteen year old driving that red Hyundai Excel.  I'm now a minivan driving boymom of three. I've gone through 3 full term pregnancies and a miscarriage. I've gone through the valleys of not enough: not enough time, not enough money, not enough caffeine.  I've had a million sleepless nights. I've supported my husband in sickness and health.  I've borne the weight of deployment, and chaplain school, and fishing apples out of a clogged toilet and unknown metal objects out of a toddler's nose.  I've cried and prayed with loved ones and friends and strangers.  I've held sick children in the wee hours of the morning. I've been puked on, peed and pooped on, and have been mistaken for a tissue.  I've graded a gazillion tests and worried over thousands of students whose circumstances I couldn't control.  I've been hurt and lied to, betrayed and disappointed.

No matter how long this list goes, one thing has stood the test of time: I am a child of God.

That fact is more important than anything else. No hurt, no pain, no amount of exhaustion or excess baby fat can take away the fact that I am a child of God.  And that is the image that must never change.

We each have a choice, do we strive for perfection in the eyes of others or do we strive for perfection in the eyes of Christ?

Do we work on the outward appearance or do we work on the heart? When the reflection in the mirror changes, does the heart change with it?  When everything God has given us is gone, what do we do then?

We bless His holy name.

As a sixteen year old who worried about her hair and makeup and who wanted the perfect outfit, I learned that life as I knew it could change in an instant.  I saw how God carried my aunt through a horrific time and gave her strength both physically and spiritually.  And although her reflection in the mirror is quite different, she is still beautiful.  The beauty of her heart shines on the outside.

And that should be us.

No matter the wrinkles or dark circles under the eyes.
No matter the paycheck or brand of your clothes.
No matter the muffin top or six pack abs.
No matter the car, neighborhood, ball team, or clique.

The beauty within our hearts that comes from a relationship with Christ should always shine on the outside.

I challenge you this day to bless God's holy name no matter your circumstance, no matter if you are in a season of plenty or of want.  Bless His holy name. Thank him. Praise him.  Because here's the truth, no matter the reflection in the mirror, our lives should be a reflection of what Christ has done for us.

Down and Dirty

Every few weeks, I decide to cover up my sparkles.  You know.....gray hairs.

The kids at school often wonder how we get those sparkles in our hair.  I'm not big on fixing my hair.  Quick and easy. That's how I like it.  It usually takes me a few weeks to actually get around to choosing a color at Wal-Mart, and its usually the first thing I see that's the closet to my natural color. And as for haircuts,   I got mine cut the day before school started back in August. Before that, my last hair cut was a year earlier.


My hair isn't a big priority.  Kinda crazy for a woman to say I guess.  But it goes back to when I was sixteen.

One spring day, we got a call that my aunt, my Nanny, had been in an accident and was being taken to Vanderbilt Hospital.  I knew that to go there, the accident had to have been serious.  I drove my mom to my grandparent's house a few miles away and got the news of what had happened.

Nanny and her fiance had been working to put up a fence row and her ponytail had gotten caught in an auger.  Her scalp had been ripped off.

Let me tell you about my Nanny. She is beautiful.  I remember her always looking nice, no matter if it were a holiday or a day at the pool.  She was beautiful all the time.  Her hair, her make up, her clothes.  Everything flattered her.  Not to mentioned she taught me how to make grilled cheese sandwiches.  She has an amazing laugh to go along with her wonderful sense of humor. Kind, caring, and fun. Yes, my Nanny is awesome.


But now,  on that March day, we didn't know what her fate would be.  Would she live? Would she die?  Would they be able to reattach her scalp?  What was going to happen to Nanny?

So many questions. So many emotions.


As time passed, we learned that Nanny would never have hair again. She would be bald for the rest of her life.

But she was alive.

To me that was the most important thing.

I learned through that experience that a woman is made of so much more than her looks.  She's made of strength and confidence and love and compassion.  Those are the things I thought made a woman beautiful.

True beauty became a heart matter.

I'd like to say that I never forgot that, that I never had vain thoughts or actions.  I'd like to say that, but I can't.  Although, deep down, I know it's true.

And that is where we have to go. Deep down. To the heart of the matter.  We have to ask the tough and dirty questions: What is it that I've allowed to determine my self worth? What have I created as my identity?  What is it that consumes me?

More often than naught, the answers to those questions never include Jesus Christ.


In order to identify with as being a child of God, we have to desire him.  We have to have our hearts set on him.

Psalm 51:10 says, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

To have a clean heart, we must empty ourselves of every desire that is not of Christ.

We have to stop comparing ourselves to others, stop keeping up with the Jones's, stop striving for bigger and better and more.

We have think on the things which are of Jesus, those things that are pure and holy.  If we strive to be like anyone, we should strive to be like Christ.  When are hearts are filled with Him, he gives us a steadfast spirit.  We are unwavering and loyal, fully dedicated to Him.  And that should be the desire of our hearts.

So today, dig deep down.  As the hard questions: What have I allowed to determine my value and self-worth? Where does my identity come from? The answers can get dirty and messy and make us cringe, but without seeking that truth, we will never be able to see how amazing and worthy we really are.

Hello. My Name Is

Robert Steven Murray.


That could have been me.


When my parents were expecting me, they decided that if I was a boy, that would have been my name.  However, they were blessed with a baby girl instead of blessed with another son.  My oldest brother would now have a sister to contend with.


As an expectant mother, my husband and I bought baby books and made lists of names. We would mark names off and put check marks next to others. We wanted a name that was just right for our first child.  We did the same with our other two children, preparing lists of possibilities, hoping and praying the ones we chose would be suitable for our children. And then when we found out about baby number 4,  again, I began making lists, I already had a girl's name in mind, you know, just in case.


Names are important.  Names provide us with  part of our identity.


As a mom of 3 boys, I know they will be compared to one another.  Teachers will say, "Oh, I had his brother, so I'm sure he will behave (learn, act) the same way." We've all done that.  We've made assumptions and passed judgement based on a person's name.

That can be good and everything, but sometimes those that came first didn't leave a good impression. They may have brought shame to the family name. We associate people with being from prominent families or from the wrong side of the tracks.


Thats why it is important to see more than a name.


Our identities are connected to more than a name.  People recognize us from the ball field and the workplace.  We remember the people who were helpful when we had flat tires or almost ran us over on the town square.


Our identities  come from other things such as the crowd of friends we have, our attitudes, and our appearances.


Unfortunately, we allow so many of these things dictate our value.

We may say.....

I'm a nobody because my family is poor.
I'll never be successful because I don't have an education.
I'm from a broken family, so no one will ever love me.
I'm overweight and worthless.

The list can go on forever.

We let circumstances, past failures, other people's sins, and our own weakness determine our identity and value.

There is only one thing that should determine those two things and that is our relationship with Christ.

Can you identify yourself with Him?  Is there a time that you met Him right where you were, everything broken and dirty, and he touched your heart?  If you have, You have found your identity in Christ. You are his and that gives you the greatest value of all.


Colossians 2:10 says, "You are complete in Him."

And in the words of my 6 year old, "That's it."

When I am found in Christ, I am complete.  When you are found Christ, you are complete.

Nothing else matters.


It doesn't matter if I am male or female.

It doesn't matter if I am rich or poor.

It doesn't matter if I am member of the country club or live in the trailer park.

It doesn't matter if I am size 6 or a size 16.


What matters is that Jesus is mine and I am His.

For these next 31 days,  I invite you on a journey with me.  I invite you to rediscover yourself, to see yourself the way that God sees you.

And now, I'd like to introduce myself.

Hello.

My name is Natasha.

I am a child of God.

52 Books in 52 Weeks Update

I am still on my 52 Books in 52 Weeks journey.  

My newest editions are:

A book with a title that has fewer than 5 words

All I can say is this is an amazing book, and this week, my children and students better be glad I read it!

A book you can finish in a day

I used this book as a read aloud in my classroom.  It is a sweet story, but you have to infer a lot.  I love the biblical reference.

And a look back at other books I've read this year........

A book that cost less than $1

I cheated a bit. This book actually cost $1.  I loved it so much.  It was a life changer for how I view my ever-changing body compared to how Christ views me. 

A book given to me

This book was given to me by one of our church members.  She thought I might enjoy it, and she was so right.  There are so many things I have been able to use in conversation and Sunday school. Billy Graham says things so much better than I ever could...right, Leslie?

A book in a genre I don't typically read

The Iron Trial was a recommendation by a student in my class. He is really into stuff like this. I promised him I would read it. I did, and it wasn't too bad. I actually have the second book in my bag to read this summer.

A book recommended by someone I just met

One of my new students was reading If I Stay as her AR book. I asked her if it was any good, and she said yes, and then she told me I should read it.  I really liked the book. I watched the movie and did the ugly cry even though I knew what was going to happen.

 A book with a title that describes my life

LOVE this book. LOVE a good pair of jeans. LOVE Jesus.  

A book with a blue cover

I used this book in lit circles with my fifth graders. I read it beforehand and fell in love with it. The jaw dropping ending really got me.  Loved the movie too. Be sure you read the book before you watch the movie!

An autobiography

I am fascinated by Malala's story. After reading this, I used it for lit circles in my classroom. My students loved it. It was a wake up call for them because they had such a hard time believing that children in some countries aren't allowed an education like they are. 

 A book based in my town

The setting of this book is my hometown. Our librarian used this book in her Battle of the Books program a few years ago, and I fell in love with it.  All church goers (young and old) need to read this.  Its a story of forgiveness and how God works through all things. 

A book I haven't read since high school

I had forgotten how good this book was. I love that it is referenced in so many other pieces of literature.

A book I've already read at least once

This is another book used in our Battle of the Books program. To Kill a Mockingbird is referenced in this book, you'll have to read it to find out why.  I've always loved this book, but this year, after I completed it as a read aloud in my classroom, one of my autistic students said that he really liked it because it helps you understand how people think differently.  Score one for the teacher!

 A book published this year

A fellow Five Minute Friday Retreat friend wrote this wonderful book about trusting God even if He doesn't answer our prayers the way we want.  For anyone who has had trouble trusting Him, read this book.  Some people are bothered by the fact that Kaitlyn didn't go into extreme details in some of her stories, however, I don't think she needed to. I think we can all relate no matter what.

A book that's under 150 pages

This is an older book that I love and use as a read aloud in my classroom. It touches on bullying in a way that all of my students can relate. I love that it reinforces 2 facts: A) If you don't step up and stop bullying, you are just as guilty B)Bullying has negative effects

 A book written from a child's perspective

This is another book I used as a read aloud in class.   I love this book for so many reasons.  It is actually told from the perspective of a classroom of children and demonstrates the love their teacher had for them and the love they had for him.

A book thats more than 600 pages

I thought reading War and Peace was going to kill me! It took almost a year, but I did it though. I was proud of myself for not giving up although I wanted to at times. I was so excited about the mini series until they cancelled it right in the middle.

Sixteen books for the year.....so far so good.  How's your 2016 reading list going? I will be starting Five Minute Friday very soon.  

 I am giddy over this book. I already know it is full of amazing words that will inspire and encourage and challenge. I hope you will consider getting a copy of it.

Five Minute Friday: Collect

It is a happy Friday in the Five Minute Friday Community.  We are all giddy over the release of the Five Minute Friday book.  It is a beautiful collection of stories written in five minutes flat. So, I guess it is only fitting that today's prompt is Collect.

Once upon a time, my husband and I would collect things. Nascar and KISS items for him and Barbie dolls for me.  That was BC: before children.

Now our children collect things. Rocks, Pokemon cards, maps, coins, knives.

Collecting is fun.  I always liked the challenge of finding something that was unique and hard to get my hands on.

But now, those items my husband and I collected are sitting in boxes, collecting something themselves: dust.

Those boxes are doing us no good whatsoever.  They could now be considered a waste of money, space, and time.  Although I wouldn't go that far.  We had a great time bonding with one another as newlyweds to find those items.

But now, I try to store up other things.  I live differently and try to teach my children differently.  The things I do and buy now have more of a purpose.  Hopefully, they are more meaningful.  Now, I want the things I do and buy to make a difference, strengthen, encourage, or be helpful to some one.

And I think of what my sweet friend Glenda always said, "Store up things in heaven.  Lead others to Christ, for those are the things that matter."

Isn't that a beautiful thought?  Oh, that we would have heart so filled with love and compassion that everything we do is a treasure in heaven. Souls saved, hungry fed, naked clothed, hurting loved.  We should be the hands and feet of Jesus in all we do.

And I want to say this about the Five Minute Friday Community.  They love, they encourage, they make a difference. They do it each week through these writing prompts, and Susan Shipe has helped by publishing a collection of five minute stories.  This proceeds from this book are going to help two amazing charities.

Get your hands on one of these books today.  You'll be blessed by the collection of words inside. Oh, don't forget to get your Five Minute Friday gear too.  I have it on good authority that I'm getting something from this collection for my birthday. Thanks, Mom!

Before you go, read this week's blog posts and enter to win a copy of the Five Minute Friday book.  Yep, that's right.

I've got one for me and one for you!  You can enter write now by clicking on my picture!  Good luck and happy Friday!

What's all the Hype About?

A few years ago, I came across this thing called Five Minute Friday.  It was this online writing community of amazing people.  I found it hard to believe they were able to write such awesomeness in a matter of five minutes.  There's no way I could ever do anything like that, I thought.

But then, one day.....

I wrote.

For five minutes flat.

Stay
As we cuddled on the couch admiring our Christmas tree, I longed to stay in that moment.

With your arms around me.

The quiet.

The two of us.

Our children fast asleep in their beds.

As I heard your alarm go off this morning, I longed for you to stay in bed longer, pushing aside what had to be done today.  I climbed back into bed with you, hitting snooze. I wanted to stay that way.

As I think about what is about to come, the "going" you must do, I am reminded that we are not called to stay, but rather to go. We are called to make disciples of all nations. We are called to go to the outermost parts, just as you reminded us in your sermon Wednesday night.

Some people actually go, while others of us stay behind.  Whatever the case, I will stay strong, growing in the Lord, making you proud, being the wife I have been called to be. I will stay with arms wide open.

That day, the words came to me. I saw how it was done.

That day, I knew I could do anything because I had just said goodbye to my husband as he left for war.  Nothing could be any scarier or more difficult than that.

So, I looked at Five Minute Friday as my comfort blanket.  I had such a love for words, and this community allowed me to express myself.  Strangers would stop by the blog to read what I had to say.  My heart was touched when they found comfort in my words, when my words were what they needed to hear.

During a difficult time, the Five Minute Friday community became my people.  Online relationships grew. We encouraged each other each week.  My confidence grew because of these amazing people.  This boost led me to do something I never imagined I would do......

The Five Minute Friday Retreat....Yep, a weekend getaway with online friends and strangers who quickly became friends. Laughter, tears, writing, bible study, sunrises, coffee, and bacon. All of my favorite things.

So the hype is about this.....

Five minutes can change your life.

Five minutes can strengthen and encourage you.

Five minutes can touch the heart of a stranger in amazing ways.

Five minutes.

Words are power.  How we use them is of utmost importance. You know...words are like toothpaste. Once you speak them, you can never put them back where they came from.

So, that's what the hype is about.

And why am I promoting this book?

Because I love this community, and I want you to be a part of it.  I want to share with you the people and words who have changed me, loved me, and encouraged me.

If you want to be a part of this community, I encourage you to get a copy of the book. You can order at Amazon or by clicking here.  You can also leave a comment below to enter to win a copy.

Lost

A few years ago, something had happened, can't remember what, but I had said to Colin, "I've lost my marbles."

Later he went to the store with Jeff, and when they were shopping, he told his daddy, "We need to get some marbles."

Jeff asked why, and Colin replied, "Because Mama lost hers."

Bless his heart.

How many times have I felt like I've lost my marbles?  Too many to count.  But I thank God everyday that He helps me to find them.  He may take a few away and replace them with better ones, but God always provides (my marbles).

He provides by answering a prayer.  He provides by sending a friend.  He provides by bringing peace.

He Provides.

I will continue to lose my marbles, my patience, my temper.  But God will continue to be there for me to pick up the pieces, to calm my nerves, to find me when I'm lost in my own sinful nature.

Amazing Grace!  How sweet the sound! I once was lost, but now I'm found!

Thank you, sweet Jesus!

This Five Minute Friday post was originally published on June 27, 2014.  What is Five Minute Friday you ask?  It's a wonderful online community of writers who take a one word prompt and write for five minutes flat. No overthinking. No editing (although some of us ELA teachers have to).  Just writing. The love of writing has brought forth the Five Minute Friday book, an amazing collection of some of our favorite posts.

You can order your very own copy now!  You should probably go ahead and get one for a friend to because each purchase will benefit the Ten Dollar Trip and The Vine School.  You can order HERE at Amazon or HERE at Create Space.

If I were you, I'd enter below to enter to win a copy.  I'll even sign it for you since I am contributor to the book!


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While you're at it, check out the Five Minute Friday gear available.

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