Friday, February 17, 2012

Remember who you are

I am by far the most imperfect person in the world.

I lose my temper.

I say stupid stuff.

I am forgetful.

I mess up.

A lot.

However, ask my children and my students and you will find out that if I am wrong, I say I am wrong.  If I mess up, I admit it and apologize. I do what I can to "right my wrongs."

As a parent and teacher, I have expectations...for me and for my students.  Ask them what I expect out of them, and they can tell you.

So why am I discussing my imperfections and expectations?

Because tonight at parent teacher conferences, I was verbally attacked.  A parent, whom I have NEVER met, walks in to my room staring me down.  She eyeballs me until she finally decides to take a seat.  She then proceeds to tell me very vaguely things that her daughter has gone home and told her.  I feel my face growing red with embarrassment and anger. I am appalled at the things her child has accused me of.  I sit there trembling, not believing what I am hearing.  Because I would like more specific details, I ask if her daughter could come in to hear our conversation, and she refuses to let me speak to her.  As she continues, I interrupt her and let her know that I am blown away by the accusations.  I wanted to cry. I proceeded to tell my side of the story, what my classroom expectations are, what a typical day is like in my room.  I invited this mom to feel free to visit my class anytime, and to visit the classes of my other teammates, so she could see what goes on in the room.  She informed me of how busy she was, but she would certainly try.  I asked her to contact me immediately the next time her chid came home upset over something. 

But the whole time, there was a still small voice....Remember who your are. Remember who you are. Remember who you are.

As the parent spoke, I knew the truth. I know the kind of teacher I am. I know how my classroom works. God told me there remember who you are, and I did.

I was hurt. I still am. A little.

I asked God this morning to make it not matter. I want it to not matter, but evidently, I can't let it go yet. Why not? Because I have a question...What are we teaching our children?

Are we teaching them it is ok to tell lies on someone and your parents will defend you to the end?

Are we teaching them that we will (and can) take care of every little problem they encounter?

Are we teaching them that others are at fault and our children don't have to be responsible for their behavior and consequences?

What are we teaching our children?

I love my kids to death. The truth of the matter is they are not perfect. They mess up. They lose homework and get in trouble for not following the rules like everyone else's kid. Although I want everything to be all blue skies and sunshine for them, it just isn't real life. Regardless of how I try to protect them, life is full of hurts, pains, and obstacles. My job as an imperfect mother to imperfect children is to equip them with the skills and character they need to be successful, self sufficient individuals.

Furthermore, I will not wait 7 months into the school year to meet my child's teacher whom my child claims is picking on him. If there is a problem, a behavior in question that needs to be taken care of immediately, I will get the story from both sides before trying to intimidate another adult. I will not email my child's teacher to get him out of the consequences of his behavior or lack of responsibility.

What are we teaching our children?

Thank you for letting me vent. Thank you for allowing me to throw my hurt out there.

At the end of the day, I know who I am.

1 comment:

  1. I've been there. I was a HS teacher for three years and this kind of parent can make you miserable. I taught for three years before I couldn't take it anymore and I went to work in a nice civilized office full of adults. :)


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