When that second line showed up, I had only hoped for a healthy baby. With three boys already, I was fine being a "boy mom" and honestly didn't care if you were a boy or girl. Healthy is what's always mattered to me.
We hoped that your brothers would be excited about you. They were. They were eager to start telling and so were Dad and I.
We spread the news of you....our newest blessing. I was nervous though. It was early. We had just found out about you and didn't wait until the first trimester was over like we had with your brothers.
Then that day....
That day I saw something.
My hope was that it was nothing, but in the pit of my stomach, I knew it was something.
My hope was that everything would be ok.
The coming weeks were a nightmare. The tests. The waiting. And then the news.
You had stopped growing. We would never hold you in our arms.
But I know Jesus.
In Him, I have hope.
I have the hope of seeing you one day in heaven. Wrapping my arms around you....finally. Hearing you call me "Mommy" for the first time.
That's my hope. I knew you when you were growing inside of me. I loved you then, and I love you now.