Not Me! Monday

It has been a while since I've participated in a Not Me! Monday even though much of my day to day can be denied! 

So, here we go....

It was not me who a week before our annual family Christmas party actually remembered we were having an annual Christmas party at our house.  In haste, I certainly did not tell my best friend to bring a gift for the wrong person, and we didn't realize it until they arrived at our party. 

When most of our guests finally arrived it was not me who talked my best friend into giving the "wrong gift" to a young lady that we honestly did not know was coming.  And then it was not my brother's girlfriend who brought a boy's gift for my best friend's 5 year old daughter (I'm not the only one who is crazy around here!)

When most of our guests were at the party, it was not me who called my mom and found out that I had told them the party started an hour later than I told everyone else.  It was not my oldest child who ended up vomitting before the night was over.


Now, I certainly don't have a friend who would tell me the following story and say that I could share it in a Not Me! post:

Wednesday night at church, my frazzled friend did not tell me that she had accidently left her sample packages of birth control pills in the Dollar General bag that contained stocking stuffers for our children's kindergarten class. The next day, she did not get a call from the teacher about finding the birth control in the bag. None of us would think that sending birth control to school with a 5 year old would be funny. I really do not enjoy getting a good laugh at the crazy things my friends do!


If you would like to join in or read more Not Me! Monday posts, head on over to MckMama's blog.

Not Me!

Just a quick post to let you know what has NOT been happening lately. To read more, head on over to MckMama's.

While heading down to South Carolina, I did NOT get stressed out about the traffic backed up on the opposite side of the road. It didn't even affect my trip other than knowing it would be like that on the way home. I, therefore, did NOT insist that Jeffrey find me an alternate route home.

During our last full day in Columbia, I did NOT walk into a wall at the EdVenture Children's Museum. Later that night, I did NOT proceed to hit my arm on a chair and my knee on a table. I am NOT clumsy and am NOT covered in bruises.

Upon returning from our fabulous trip, our power in the front part of our house did NOT go out. After 2 hours of being home, I did NOT have to pack up my 3 kids again to spend the night at Sue and Birbie's.

On Friday, I did NOT spend the enitre afternoon and evening at the hospital with my mom and dad. Mom did NOT get too close to my dad and uncle while they were moving a couch and did NOT almost have her toe cut off. I did NOT watch several hours of Say Yes to the Dress with my dad, aunt, and cousin while waiting for mom to have surgery and during her recovery, and I most certainly did NOT drink 5 cups of hospital coffee. I did NOT finally arrive home at 1 am.

Since finding out that I will have the opportunity to attend the CHBOLC Graduation Banquet in September, I have NOT become obsessed with finding a dress. I am an adult and would NEVER get that excited about the chance to wear a fancy dress.

I was NOT excited about having 2 days of childcare so I could work in my classroom. Colin is at Camp Creative at church and Sue offered to watch the little boys. When I arrived at school, it was NOT locked up due to freshly waxed floors.

On my way to Wal-Mart this morning, I did NOT lay on the horn and slam on the breaks because some guy ran a red light and almost hit me. He did NOT proceed to display his middle finger at me. Folks in my hometown are much nicer than that.

Not My Kids!!

Yes, it is Monday. Has been all day and will be for a few more hours. Instead of filling you in on my recent mishaps, I'll fill you in on what my little darlings did NOT do. Remember, just take out all the NOTs to find out the truth. If you would like to read more Not Me, Monday posts, head over to MckMama's and check them out.



During the Baby Dedication on Father's Day, Carson did NOT turn around in front of the entire congregation and punch his big brother in the stomach. My children are much better behaved than that, especially in church.



My boys have NOT been hanging out in their tightie whities most days of the week. Carson, well, he most certainly did NOT wear only his underwear outside Saturday as we had customers at our yard sale. My children only go outside fully dressed and would never be half naked in front of complete strangers.



Colin did NOT talk about planning our funerals today. He is NOT that deep for a 7 year old. He did NOT request that "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" by The Temptations be played at his daddy's funeral. I had to convince him that although I didn't know what a rolling stone was exactly, it probably wasn't appropriate to play at his daddy's funeral. Whew!



Carson did NOT argue with me at Chick Fil-A about the fact that his chicken nuggets were not nuggets, but just chicken.



He finally ate them and decided that they were NOT better than McDonald's.

Not Me Monday

Another Not Me, Monday! If you like mine, head over to MckMama's page to read more. Just the chance to playoff all the crazy stuff that did or did not happen the past week.

Recently, before a chilly, drizzling evening for a Pee Wee Baseball game, after pouring myself a cup of coffee and setting it down in the living room, I did not get distracted and pour myself another cup. I am completely sane and would never do such a thing.

While waiting for the doctor to come in to the exam room to look over my 2 month old for his well baby visit, I did not pass gas. When Carson asked, "Mama, did you toot?" I did not blame it on the baby. I am much more sophisticated than that.

After leaving the doctor's office, my two youngest boys and I stopped at Dunkin Donuts. When we got back in the car, I did not eat the only donut my husband had asked me to get for him because it was starting to melt in the humidity.

While helping my husband look for a book he had bought during his visit to Japan, I did not ask him what it was about. Any fool would know it would have been about Japan.

This morning while changing Carter's diaper, I did not get pooped on. I am always careful to remove the diaper slowly to watch and listen for surprises. Just wondering if that is any indicatation on how this day will go?!?!

Furthermore, when my four year old asked for Cheetos and milk for breakfast, I did not allow him to have them while I ate my Special K. I would never allow my kids to eat such junk.

While bending over to pick up Carter's paci the other day, I did not rip the zipper out of my shorts. Hence the need for Special K.

Not Me, Monday #2

“Not Me! Monday” is the brainchild of MckMama where we can pretend that some crazy things did not happen the past week. I always enjoy reading what did not happen to others, so I hope you enjoy reading what did not happen to me


This past week I did not clean out the litter box just to find a piece of yellow ribbon sticking out of the cat poop.  My cat would never eat anything other than his Purina. 

Furthermore, my 4 year old did not decide to retire from T-Ball after 2 practices. Can you count it as two when we just showed up for the last one?  Anyway. My children always finish what they start.

After quitting retiring from t-ball, my son and I did not make our way to the park for a nailbiting Pee Wee baseball game where Colin was playing.  This mom was not on the edge of her seat when we started the fifth inning with a score of 12 - 13.  I most certainly did not hop up off the bleachers to watch the final play of the game when the Cubs won.  I would never get that excited over a Pee Wee game.

On Saturday, my husband suggested we drive over to Fort Campbell so he could pick up some things for his AT training next week. This would allow us some good family time together as well.  This was supposed to have been a "three hour tour" but did not turn in to a 6 hour ordeal. Our car battery (the original) did not die in the parking lot of the US Calvalry store. We did not wait for his parents to come help us out.  If we did, they would not have been at a birthday party in Bowling Green. You do the math! I most certainly did not say a word or not look at my husband for the first 30 minutes or so.I would have laughed it off.  Our oldest child would not have been bored and hungry, our middle child would not have said, "So, how's it going?" and our youngest would not have slept through the whole thing, only waking at Advanced Auto Parts for a diaper change and bottle.

After church on Sunday, Carter and I did not take a four hour nap, waking up in enough time to see we would be missing the evening service.  I would never sleep away an afternoon, not knowing what my husband and other kids were doing.

My First Not Me! Monday Post

“Not Me! Monday” is the brainchild of MckMama where we can pretend that some crazy things did not happen the past week. I always enjoy reading what did not happen to others, so I hope you enjoy reading what did not happen to me in my first “Not Me! Monday” post.




I was not excited that this past week was Spring Break and that my kids were able to stay home with me. As a teacher, I know how important going to school is both academically and socially, so I would never be excited about the fact that my kids didn’t have to go.

I was not told my four year old that I was too old to play on his new airplane. My children are polite and would always find the proper way of telling me I should do (or not do) something.

As my husband preached on Wednesday night, I was not distracted by screaming coming from the church nursery. I didn’t stretch my ears to find out which four year old was yelling. I did not recognize the scream of my own child and have to leave church with infant in arms to shut the door behind me to find my screaming child. My child was not in the arms of my best friend screaming, “I WANT MY MAMA!” I did not take the crying child back to church with me and he did not fall asleep and start snoring while his daddy preached. My children always sit up and act right in church. I did not make my four year old call my best friend the next day to apologize, because my kids would never act out when they didn’t get their way.

My seven year old did not wake up the other morning with white “gook” in his hair. He did not put a glow in the dark star with putty on it in his hair at bed time. First of all, my kids always go right to sleep at bed time. They never stay up playing or watching movies until the wee hours of the morning. It did not take an hour for my child to finally tell me what the “gook” was. It also did not take washing this child’s hair 3 times to get all the “gook” out of his hair. I was never tempted to call Paw Paw to him to the barber shop to get it cut out.

As for me, I most certainly did not slack on getting the laundry done this week. I always get it finished in record time and never leave it on the couch. I would never get distracted by my children and leave the clean laundry piled up. If you came to my house today, you would not see laundry, clean or dirty, anywhere.

Last night, my children and I most certainly did not giggle like crazy at the sound of our 1 month old passing gas. My seven year old did not post about Mr. Tootalot on his blog.

I most certainly am not looking forward to another crazy week that could turn in to another Not Me! Post.