Days 41 and 42

I haven't been lazy on my study this weekend, but I've been contemplating my words. 

Sometimes I don't have an immediate response to the study and I have to let it soak in, as the case for the last two days.

You see, I have been blessed.  I am blessed. I'm not being presumptuous saying that. I'm giving glory to God for all He has done in my life. 

I've been blessed.  Thank you God.

Beth Moore wanted to know first thing what is the big thing I'm facing right now.  That was hard for me.  I really don't see a big thing in my life.  Right now, I find myself in a season where God is walking beside me, building me up.  However, I do realize that at any time, He can place me in a season where my "only" is all that I have.  Where I have to rely on my faith in Him to get me through.

I talked with my dear friend Angie yesterday. I love talking with her. She is so wise and loving, encouraging, and fun.  We talked about how God will test us.  He will place people in our lives and place us in situations as a test. 

I don't want to fail those tests.

Right now, I'm a lot of talk.  I've seen how God has worked his miracles in the lives of others (on big things).  I've seen how He has worked his miracles in my own life.  Yet, I've been blessed and I don't have the experiences that so many others have in the "big things" of life.

Can I be honest here? Really honest?

I don't want to go through the big things of life.

I don't want to lose a child or my husband. I don't want to lose my job or home. I don't want us to lose our health.  I don't want my husband to ever be deployed. I don't want to go through those big things.

But if God chooses to place me in the middle of one of those big things, I want to make him proud. I want to give him praise and honor just as I do now.  I want my actions to support everything I've ever said about my faith in him.  I want to give him my all, even it if is my "only." I want him to be able to take that "only" and bless others though me. 

When I read my study for this weekend, I thought of the song All that I can Say by David Crowder.  If I can find a video of it, I'll post, but for now, here are the lyrics.  Read them and let them sink in. We need to remember that God wants our all, even if it isn't much.

Lord I'm tired

So tired from walking

And Lord I'm so alone

And Lord the dark

Is creeping in

Creeping up

To swallow me

I think I'll stop

Rest here a while

Chorus:

And this is all that I can say right now

And this is all that I can give

And this is all that I can say right now

And this is all that I can give, that's my everything

And didn't You see me cry'n?

And didn't You hear me call Your name?

Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?

I wish You'd remember

Where you sat it down

Chorus:

And this is all that I can say right now, i know its not much.

But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.

This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.

But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.

Bridge:

I didn't notice You were standing here

I didn't know that

That was You holding me

I didn't notice You were cry'n too

I didn't know that

That was You washing my feet

And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.

But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.

This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.

But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.

And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.

But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.