Humble Pie

I have to admit that God really spoke to me through this past week's study of Esther. I am so enjoying the study, spending time with God, and spending time with the other girls.

As I read about Xerxes and his own sleeplessness, I was reminded of my own sleepless nights. You know 'em. You wake up. Eyes wide open. You think to yourself, "Man! I'm not ready to get up. I've still got a few more good hours." Finally, you drift back to sleep. The next night, it happens again. Then again. And again. I'll tell you. I've been there, done that. Within the last year and a half, I was really under conviction about the amount of (or lack of) time I was spending alone with God. I wanted to do something about it. After Carson was born, my personal Bible study time had really gone down hill. My body was programed to sleep as soon as I put the boys to bed (which sometimes took hours). Waking up in the mornings was bad. I was totally exhausted. I was in my routine. Get up. Work. Come home. Supper. Bath. Bed. Have you ever been there?

I was praying for time to spend with my Father. He would awaken me an hour before I had always gotten up and call me. I wasn't answering. I looked at the clock morning after morning, groaned, and went back to sleep. I would wake up at my regular time filled with guilt. My Gracious Heavenly Father was only trying to give me what I was asking for, but I wasn't accepting the gift.

Finally, I accepted. I committed myself to getting up earlier to spend time in my devotional reading and prayer. This time is so wonderful. God really talks to me during this time, and I've learned to have an attentive ear and open heart. Sure my mornings get interrupted occasionally by the boys, but that's ok. I still find time throughout the day to spend time with God. Sometimes it is difficult and hectic, but it is worth it.

Throughout the remaining lesson, God served me a huge piece of humble pie. As I read about Haman's bad case of presumption and entitlement, I saw myself in some aspects. I think at some time in our lives, even in our Christian walk, we have thought of ourselves more highly than we ought to. We've done something: worked hard on a project, volunteered our time, helped someone in need and then felt that we were owed something. We wanted some sort of recognition for what we've done. We've sat in a group setting and someone was recognized for their effort, but we weren't. We sat there brewing, "What about me?" Oh, just me???

Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Let nothing be done of selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

God's word reminds me that I am no better than anyone else, even if I am a Christian. I should DO because I LOVE, not because of what I will get. It burns me up that my students say, "I was good so I should get a treat." My reply is, "No, you shouldn't get a treat for doing what you are supposed to do." Another serving of humble pie, please. I shouldn't get recognized for doing what I'm supposed to do.

Haman took a HUGE fall in so many ways. When I fall before the throne of God, I don't want to have far to go. I pray that He will continue to serve me my portion of humble pie when my ego begins to get the best of me.

Chew on this....
Sunday we had the Commonwealth Quartet perform at church. One of the gentlemen stated, "If we have entertained you tonight, yet not glorified God, then we have not done our job." That is a bold, humble statement. If out of all that I do each day and I do not glorify my Father, I have wasted my time.