Who Knows

This week, we have focused on Esther's dilemma about going before the king. Mordecai basically told her that she wasn't safe and she had to do something. Was it possible that this was her purpose, to save her people? She and Mordecai both knew there were risks involved. That is true for anyone when making decisions. Take Dr. Ben Carson.


I have just watched an amazing, made for TV movie. Keep in mind, I hardly watch anything except Spongebob, Tom and Jerry, and Garfield these days. If I'm lucky, I can sneak off to the bedroom and watch The Biggest Loser while doing laundry on Tuesday nights. Anyway, this morning, Carson woke up at 7:44. YUCK. It took about 10 minutes to convince him to get in the recliner. I flipped through the channels and found a movie called, Gifted Hands. I saw that Cuba Gooding, Jr. was in it so I had to try it out. I was hooked. There is this doctor named Ben Carson. He and his brother were raised by a single mom in Detroit. Ben made failing grades in school and thought he was dumb. His mom wouldn't let him believe that. She pushed him and his brother to succeed. He raised his grades, but also had a "raised" temper. At one point of the movie, he became angry at a friend and grabbed his knife. It hit the friends belt buckle and broke. Ben rushed home, locked himself in his bedroom, and clutched his Bible, praying that God would take his temper from him. Throughout the movie, there were so many times he could have lost his temper, but God had taught him how to control it. Well, finally, Ben became an intern at John Hopkins. A patient came in needing immediate surgery or else would die. There were no doctors that were available to perform the surgery. Knowing what could happened if he did perform the surgery and what could happen if he didn't perform the surgery, Ben decided to do it. The main hospital guy (sorry, I don't know all the technical names), commended Ben on his efforts. Ben has gone on to perform some of the most outstanding surgical procedures we've heard of.


Now is the time for me to admit that I had a difficult time getting into Esther this week. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep from being up with Carson, my own not feeling good, a lack of routine, but I have struggled this week. I've come to a realization of a couple of things this morning (thanks to God allowing me to study His Word and the time He gave me to watch this movie).


1. We can't do it alone. Esther couldn't. Mordecai couldn't. Ben couldn't. I can't. We need our set of cheerleaders and the coach. Esther and Mordecai had each other, maids, servants, the other Jews, and God. Ben had his mother, his wife, and God. Me, I have my husband, family, children, friends, and God. We all need to be lifted up along the way.


2. We should seek God in all we do. Esther told her people to fast with her. Fasting was always associated with prayer. I know in her heart, she was saying, "Lord, give me strength." Ben clutched his bible asking God to take his anger. He went in before surgery saying, "Lord, may Your will be done." Me, I study His Word and cry out in prayer to be the woman He wants me to be. I have so many roles to play, I have to seek Him to find out what He wants me to do. I struggle with anger. I struggle with gluttony. I struggle with holding my tongue. I struggle with selfishness. I have to seek Him.


3. There are consequences for our actions. Esther had to consider the consequences of remaining silent. Would she be safe? Could a Jewish girl save her people. What about Ben? Could he overcome the obstacles of being raised by a single, black mom in poverty? Could he save lives with the risky surgeries? What about me? Will I "mess up" my children by being too hard on them? Will I chose the wrong battles? Will I disappoint my Father in Heaven? Will my life be considered a success by Him?

I don't want any part of my life to be a waste. I want to glorify God by the type of wife, mother, daughter, friend, teacher that I am. I want my children to know that I love them, that God loves them, and that they can be whatever they want to be. I want my husband to know that I cherish him. He is an amazing man and I am thankful for the love he has for and shows me and our children. I want my parents to know that I love them. I am thankful for their love and support and for never giving up on me. I want everyone to know that a life without God is not a life at all. He is the source of life. He gives and takes away. When we ask, "Who knows?" we should seek Him because He knows.