Husband Bashing

I got my daily email yesterday from iMom and the topic was "Husband Bashing." Here is what the email said:
"Often, when a group of women get together, somebody will share a personal concern or frustration related to her marriage. When this happens, do you offer encouragement to strengthen your friend's marriage, or do you join right in the husband-bashing round table?
One of our husband's most basic needs is having our respect. Being openly critical of your guy in front of others (including your children) doesn't just reveal his shortcomings - it reveals your lack of respect for him. If you just need to vent, share with one trusted friend and seek advice or encouragement. Airing out your marital woes for the masses rarely yields good outcomes, and may just feed the fire of discontent."

This email really struck a chord with me. No, I didn't feel ashamed or angry or guilty, but I felt relieved to have my feelings on this topic confirmed.

I am by far NOT the perfect wife, and my husband is not the perfect husband, but we are perfect for each other. We met in our teens and dated throughout high school and college. We dated for 7 years and engaged for over 1 year before we got married. Needless to say, we both new what we were getting into when we got married. We were aware of the others imperfections and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together anyway.

So, how do I handle my frustrations with my husband? Well, husband bashing is not it. Mostly, I pray about it. I've got to decide if the imperfection is worth fighting over. Usually it isn't. If my feelings are hurt, I let my husband know. I have to say that whatever disagreements we have usually resolve themselves. We've learned how to let things go and laugh about our quirks and imperfections.


Sure it is good to have another woman that you can go to about some things, but it probably wouldn't be a good habit to get into, going to her every time you were annoyed or hurt. After all, she can't fix it. Only you, your husband, and God can.

The one thing that strikes me the most about that email is this: One of our husband's most basic needs is having our respect. Being openly critical of your guy in front of others (including your children) doesn't just reveal his shortcomings - it reveals your lack of respect for him.

In Ephesians 5:33, God has given us orders: "Let the wife see that she respects her husband."

Can't really get any clearer than that.

I know some women who constantly bad mouth their husbands. They really don't have any boundaries and don't care who can hear. Not only does it show a lack of respect for their husbands, but it shows their true character as well.

As for our children, I would never degrade their daddy in front of them. I'd like to think we've never even had an argument in front of them. I don't recall any. I want my boys to know that I love and respect their daddy, that he is a wonderful man and my heart belongs to him.

God has given both the husband and wife instructions, wives are to respect their husbands and husbands are to love their wives. If God tells us we have to do that, it means that it is something that we will have some struggles with. Whatever those struggles entail, we are to take them to Our Father in prayer and submission. It takes 3 to make a marriage work: the husband, the wife, and God.

A while back, my husband bought me the Love Dare movie and book. I absolutely love them, but I'll admit, I haven't finished my own Love Dare journey. As a wife who wants a strong, healthy marriage, I was eager to get started. I was glad to see there were somethings I was doing right already and some things I needed to work on. I do encourage you to try it if you want to strengthen your marriage. It is totally not one sided as some may think.

Lord, I thank you for my husband, for his faithfulness to this family and to you. I pray God that I will always show him respect in private, in front of my friends, and in front of our children. Lord, I pray that you would bless my husband and I thank you for blessing me by allowing me to be his wife. Amen.