Welcome to this space devoted to Five Minute Friday, a time of taking a one word prompt and writing for five minutes. Sounds simple enough. Just enough time to let words flow. No overthinking. No editing (although the writing teacher in me has to correct mechanics). Just writing. For me, seeing how God uses that one word.
Ready? Here we go.
I feel like something is missing, that I'm incomplete in some way. There's no denying what it is. When I think the reason, I feel the tears coming. I remember what took you away from me. I never knew you this side of heaven. Not physically anyway. But emotionally, in my heart. That's different. I was so excited about you. Couldn't wait to meet you and introduce you to your big brothers. I didn't care if you were a boy or a girl. I just wanted you. A healthy you.
But
I'm incomplete. I'm not whole.
You left us before we even held you. Before you were really able to grow and develop in my womb.
But
You are such a part of me.
Because of Jesus, I have the hope of tomorrow. I have the hope that one day, a glorious day in heaven, that I will hold you. I will finally hold you.
I think about today. We should have a birthday celebration. You'd be two years old. As a mama of three already, I know what that age brings. What a blessing that age is. And.....this year is incomplete. Not whole.
But
Because of Jesus, that hole in my heart is filled by hope. Hope that I will see you, hold you, and be made whole.
Thank you for joining me for this FMF post. Don't forget to head over to my friend Kate's page to join in.
Oh Natasha, this is a heartbreaking read. I'm so sorry for your loss and the hole left in your life because of it. But I also see a strong woman of faith here who is holding firmly to the hope of heaven and this coming true: "Because of Jesus, that hole in my heart is filled by hope." Yes and Amen to having this hope, no matter what brokenness we may suffer from! Jesus is always the answer, our Hope and our way to His shalom completeness and wholeness. May God hold and wrap you in His gentle, loving arms as you mourn what could have been, and may He lead you to deeper rest in the hope yet to come. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteI love that you were willing to write about this. We lost three babies too early, but our five who made it add to my healing. Too many times these stories go unspoken. I find the more we share, the more healing can happen in our lives and those who hear our stories.
ReplyDeleteVisiting you from 5 minute Friday. :)
I'm sure this was hard to write, but I was blessed to have read this today. I felt your words and thank you for sharing them. May His peace and love continue to surround and comfort you.
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